Bison

How many lightbulbs does it take for a person who can't tell a joke to screw it up?

I mean.....

commander

Ok, what's the rules, are we allowed dispensation for dirty, non pc, potentially offensive to the offended, etc jokes..

If so I have a few..and its not personal to anyone etc etc

Roadking

Yes, to all of the above...

Go for it!

Roadking

Lets start...

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother...!!

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Next...?

commander

best not some of them would leave me open to be accused of being a racist again...

andrewpops

Slightly topical.....

Q: Whats the capital of Iceland?
A: Two pence

Bison

I think that sentance leaves you open to being racist anyway

I don't think jokes about certain race, colours or creeds mean that you are neccessarily racist, however I can understand that they might offend some.

I personally am not racist, but I still find those sortas of jokes funny, especially when the people of that 'race' tell me them in the first place!!

Anyways.......

Q: Why did the monkey fall out the tree?
A: Because it was dead.

This next one apparently has been proven by scientists to be the funniest joke in the world.

"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

"The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says: ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: ‘OK, now what?’"

Bison

Roadking

Oh, did they get the loan then?

Roadking

commander

yea i agree, i mean telling the odd joke about a certain race/colour doesnt make you a racist, hell i have been on the recieving end of these for years...but there are people (esp on here) who would hit the complain button straight away..

Ill save them for sickopedia.com

what do you call a giggling black man.....?

Roadking

How do you turn a fox into an elelphant...?











Marry her!

Charismatic

That hotel Mumbai murder mystery weekend is a bit over the top isn't it?

Spurred on by the overnight attacks in mumbai, muslim terrorists have stormed the streets of bradford and are shooting anyone with a british passport. Police fear the death toll could be as high as two people.

Security concerns have been raised following reports that the perimeter fencing at Knowsley Safari Park is falling into disrepair and there are no funds available to replace it. When asked about the consequences of a lion escaping and wandering around Merseyside, a park spokesman said, "Well, it would just have to try and defend itself the best it could" .

Have you all heard "The world economy, explained with cows" yet?

commander

Snigger

Roadking

Spugsy

what do you call a frenchman in sandals?

Phillippe Philloppe