British Expats
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British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   The Sand Pit (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/)
-   -   It's happened. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/its-happened-718907/)

al dente May 30th 2011 5:18 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 9398936)
I'm really nicely going to say this, if it's OK with you, and as long as you really honestly don't mind, but for the third time. I HAD the number.

I wanted to just double check it was correct.

Not aimed at anyone in particular but far too many people out here pretend that because they tip their maid once a blue moon that their shit doesn't stink and they've never had a pop.
Stop being such a defensive bunny. You THOUGHT you had the number but you needed to check and possibly obtain the correct number. You alientated the person who could have helped you with your arrogant and aggressive manner.

Being open, friendly and polite can be incredibly persuasive. I have to check facts and details as part of my work and find a positive manner works.

scrubbedexpat141 May 30th 2011 5:19 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by kittycat1 (Post 9398944)
Scamp- why didn't you just call the number to double check directly?
wasn't connecting after trying at different times over a few days. :(

mummy2dolly May 30th 2011 5:28 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 9396907)
Case in point;

"Hi, can I check this man's cell number please?"
"What's your name?"
"That's irrelevant, i just want to read this number and you say yes or no please?"
"Where are you calling from?"
"Dubai"
"Which company"
"Doesn't matter, can I just read his number to you and you say yes correct, or no wrong please?"
"I can't give out his number"
"I am not asking for it, I have it..."
"So why do you ask for it"
"I want to check I have the correct one, it's not been connecting. Can I read it to you please?!"
"Sir I told you I can't give it out"
"OK. ...so i just read the number at her...."
"Yes that's correct sir"
"That was hard work wasnt it...(joking)"
"Yes sir, but I tell you I can't give you number, but you keep asking!!!"

Wanted to sceram.
How I would have gone about it:

"Hi, I was wondering if you could help me? I'm trying to get hold of Mr X on this number (xxxx) but it is isn't connecting, could you please check whether I have the correct number?"

...the other side of the conversation may well have gone in exactly the same way, but I would have offered my name and any details the person on the other end of the phone asked for, I certaintly wouldn't have told them that my name was 'irrelevant' and that 'it doesn't matter' which company I work for.

scrubbedexpat141 May 30th 2011 5:30 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by al dente (Post 9398962)
Stop being such a defensive bunny. You THOUGHT you had the number but you needed to check and possibly obtain the correct number. You alientated the person who could have helped you with your arrogant and aggressive manner.

Being open, friendly and polite can be incredibly persuasive. I have to check facts and details as part of my work and find a positive manner works.
I don't understand why a 10 second phone call should have to take 5 minutes for the sake of passing a load of information around when the person at the other end can say Yes or No and then tell me to go away.

If you phoned a hotel and asked for their restaurant number but had to chat and have polite conversation for an afternoon before checking the number - would you be happy to do that?

Why not be a bit defensive? Few people have said i'd be told to **** off, theres the usual jibe about what I do for work, being told i'm arrogant and aggresive and rude ....

scrubbedexpat141 May 30th 2011 5:31 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by mummy2dolly (Post 9398974)
How I would have gone about it:

"Hi, I was wondering if you could help me? I'm trying to get hold of Mr X on this number (xxxx) but it is isn't connecting, could you please check whether I have the correct number?"

...the other side of the conversation may well have gone in exactly the same way, but I would have offered my name and any details the person on the other end of the phone asked for, I certaintly wouldn't have told them that my name was 'irrelevant' and that 'it doesn't matter' which company I work for.
Unfortunately that is, give or take, what I said, just shortened it to save typing it all out...ah well. Provided a lot of people with some entertainment no doubt.

kittycat1 May 30th 2011 5:38 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Scamp,

To get anything done here takes more effort than in the UK so you do need to give a bit more than in blighty- so it may well take a 5 minute conversation to get what seems like very little, but if people warm to you they are a lot more helpful. It may seem like a pain the ass to switch on the charm for every little thing but you're a lot more likely to get the outcome you want if the person on the other side likes you.

Having said that I'm about to loose it with a retailer who Im trying to get a refund from! Shouted at a poor chap yesterday who couldnt do anything as his manager had left for the day- then apologized and felt stupid. The next strategy is to cry and make a big scene. Must practise crying on demand...

scrubbedexpat141 May 30th 2011 5:52 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by kittycat1 (Post 9398989)
Scamp,

To get anything done here takes more effort than in the UK so you do need to give a bit more than in blighty- so it may well take a 5 minute conversation to get what seems like very little, but if people warm to you they are a lot more helpful. It may seem like a pain the ass to switch on the charm for every little thing but you're a lot more likely to get the outcome you want if the person on the other side likes you.

Having said that I'm about to loose it with a retailer who Im trying to get a refund from! Shouted at a poor chap yesterday who couldnt do anything as his manager had left for the day- then apologized and felt stupid. The next strategy is to cry and make a big scene. Must practise crying on demand...
In a roundabout way, that was kind of my point. Yesterday was the first time I just had enough. Just give me what I want and now, don't ask pointless questions just answer this one simple one.

I promise to be nice. Starting from....now.

Blue Cat May 30th 2011 5:54 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 9399014)
In a roundabout way, that was kind of my point. Yesterday was the first time I just had enough. Just give me what I want and now, don't ask pointless questions just answer this one simple one.

I promise to be nice. Starting from....now.
give up, move on :thumbup:

OleJanx May 31st 2011 2:14 am
Re: It's happened.
 
Scamp, it seems to me that you just had a bad day, and something trivial pushed you over the edge. when this has happened to me, I've found booting the waste paper bin across the room very theraputic. If nothing else, having to pick up the bin's contents calms me down.:)

Alexa May 31st 2011 3:54 am
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 9399014)
In a roundabout way, that was kind of my point. Yesterday was the first time I just had enough. Just give me what I want and now, don't ask pointless questions just answer this one simple one.

I promise to be nice. Starting from....now.
Scamp, the things is, you got to deal with what you have. If you want results, you just have to do what it takes to get them.
And yes, that can mean losing your mind once in a while..:p

scrubbedexpat141 May 31st 2011 4:01 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
OJ and Alexa. You're right.

Thanks

Hello.Kitty Jun 1st 2011 5:14 am
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 9401676)
OJ and Alexa. You're right.

Thanks
my point is, that any amount of expediency doesn't over-ride halfway decent manners. There's also a bit of basic psychology in there - people will mirror each other in conversations, so if you are cold and short with them, they will be cold and sharp back.

If you want to manoeuvre them into a position where they are more likely to "do you a favour", even if it is a pretty simple one like confirming a number you already have, then you have to go through the basics to show them that you're a nice, honest chap who wouldn't ask them to do anything that they're not meant to.

TGFKASE Jun 1st 2011 8:34 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
All this was reconfirmed to me over the last 24 hours...

Was advised that my identity 'may' have been stolen in the US. Did a few credit checks and confirmed it hadn't, then called the credit bureau to cancel my 'trial membership' before they started cherging me some exorbitant amount each month.

5 minutes on the phone with the American Credit bureaux call centre and all done, with oral confirmation with confirmation number, followed by email within minutes of the phone going down concerning same..

Just reminds me how far 'customer service' has to go in this part of the world.

And, before anyone starts, I am not saying it was because it was a Septic I was talking to, unlike the Pinoy/Paki/Indian operators here...

Boomhauer Jun 1st 2011 9:32 pm
Re: It's happened.
 
Originally Posted by Scamp (Post 9396907)
you'll all start with the 'I told you so's' and I don't mind.

I'm basically an angry racist, and a bigot - well that's how I feel sometimes.

Despite being pretty laid back about most things I'm finding it hard to be treated like an idiot. I'm not like a lot out here in terms of being rude for the sake of it to cabbies / assistants etc but I do find it hard to bite my tongue 100% of the time.

Case in point;

"Hi, can I check this man's cell number please?"
"What's your name?"
"That's irrelevant, i just want to read this number and you say yes or no please?"
"Where are you calling from?"
"Dubai"
"Which company"
"Doesn't matter, can I just read his number to you and you say yes correct, or no wrong please?"
"I can't give out his number"
"I am not asking for it, I have it..."
"So why do you ask for it"
"I want to check I have the correct one, it's not been connecting. Can I read it to you please?!"
"Sir I told you I can't give it out"
"OK. ...so i just read the number at her...."
"Yes that's correct sir"
"That was hard work wasnt it...(joking)"
"Yes sir, but I tell you I can't give you number, but you keep asking!!!"

Wanted to sceram.
I am confused as to what is transpiring here?
You are checking a guy's cell number, with whom?


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