oktoberon

A Paddy walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Paddy shouts 'Na ol an t-uisce, ta sé lan de chac bo' (Don't drink the water, it's full of cowsh * t.)

The man shouts back 'I'm English, speak English, I don't understand you'.

The Paddy shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

Paidtoplease

Cham128

Comedian is doing his routine on stage and then starts talking about the Irish...

this huge musclehead of a guy who looks like he could bend steel rods with his eyelids gets up at the back of the room and says... "just before you start on the irish jokes... I want to warn you... me and my friends here are Irish"

The comedian says... "um ok don't worry... I'll tell them slowly"

oktoberon

MataHari

so...Irish people are a bit thick...that's sort of what you are saying...

oktoberon

tis all an illusion we give to the world. We know we're the chosen

beebee

Thought it was the welsh that were supposed to be thick...

Cham128

i thought it was the yanks?

beebee

We'll agree on the yanks..

oktoberon

Agreed

Bodach

An Irish Ghost Story

This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it
sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, its true.

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road
hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he
could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly
coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without
thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.. only to
realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a
curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the
window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched as the
hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed
him.

Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road,
so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and
out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the
horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realised he was crying
and....wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the
stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to
the other...
"Look Paddy.....there's that *****ing idiot that got in the car while we
were pushing it!!!!"

Inselaffen

Then English say it is the Irish; the Yanks say it is the Polaks; The French say the Belgians and the Germans the East Freislanders!

Blue Cat

it is