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Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Old Oct 10th 2012, 7:26 am
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Default Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.
Below is a list of companies below catering for most tastes:

Sex with your wife - Legal & General.
Sex on the telephone - Direct Line.
Sex with your Partner - Standard Life.
Sex with someone Different - Go Compare.
Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than.
Sex On the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels.
Sex with a posh bird - Privileged.
Sex with an OAP - Saga
Sex with a transvestite - confused.com
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 7:57 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

In addition to the list above which I stole:

Sex resulting from the Ally Pally – China Life
Sex using two condoms – Prudential
Sex with a French skinhead – BNP Paribas
Sex with a Korean sailor – Hyundai Marine
Free sex, man – Liberty Mutual
Sex with a scabby Welshman – Dai-ichi Life
[someone do this for me] – Scottish Widows
Orgy with a load of fat people – XL Group
Only in the missionary position – Allchurches
Gay sex – Hiscox
Routine sex with the maid – Domestic & General
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 8:31 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type




Sex with a Scotsman - Scottish Life
Sex with your six-fingered cousin - Norwich Union
Sex with a Moose - Canada Life

Last edited by Meow; Oct 10th 2012 at 8:36 am.
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 8:47 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Sex with a PM - Churchill
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 8:59 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Sex with a PM - Churchill
Surely this is all Spam? - Run along back to your own world of Financial Services!
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 9:02 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Snuff sex – Axa?
Sex on a mountain – Zurich
Getting raped – all of them.
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 9:06 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Originally Posted by jackthehat View Post
Surely this is all Spam? - Run along back to your own world of Financial Services!
I don't work in Financial Services.
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 9:08 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
I don't work in Financial Services.
Neither do I. But then, as we know, its JackTheTwat...
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 9:12 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
Neither do I. But then, as we know, its JackTheTwat...
Hmm. Quite.
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 9:47 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
In addition to the list above which I stole:

Sex resulting from the Ally Pally – China Life
Sex using two condoms – Prudential
Sex with a French skinhead – BNP Paribas
Sex with a Korean sailor – Hyundai Marine
Free sex, man – Liberty Mutual
Sex with a scabby Welshman – Dai-ichi Life
[someone do this for me] – Scottish Widows
Orgy with a load of fat people – XL Group
Only in the missionary position – Allchurches
Gay sex – Hiscox
Routine sex with the maid – Domestic & General
I dare not publicly say how I immediately thought about completing the missing one (Scottish Widows) for you as even I am not that cold hearted, but let's just say it would probably have gone down like a Stella fart in the Burj Khalifa lift especially with some people who have intermittently praised and scolded us over the last few months...
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 9:49 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Consensual sex with a pensioner - Old Mutual
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 10:35 am
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Sex with Delie - Norwich Union
Sex with a Mexican - Aviva!
Sex with a senior sailor - Admiral
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Old Oct 10th 2012, 12:19 pm
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Sex with Delie - Norwich Union
Sex with a Mexican - Aviva!
Sex with a senior sailor - Admiral
Thinking about beastiality – Petplan

Speaking of which...

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Old Oct 10th 2012, 12:31 pm
  #14  
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

Originally Posted by auzdafluff View Post
Thinking about beastiality – Petplan

Speaking of which...

http://assets.funnyexam.com/hashed_s...sized/goat.jpg
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Old Oct 11th 2012, 12:43 pm
  #15  
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Default Re: Insurance: make sure you have the right type

And of course you can't ignore the Erection All Risks insurance prevalent in the construction and heavy engineering industries. Risk? All hands to deck, more like.
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