Bahtatboy

Was accosted by an Indian houseboy foaming at the mouth yesterday morning (literally—he was half way through cleaning his teeth) as I prepared to drive off for work, shortly joined by another. The building I live in has 2 entrances on one side, opening onto the footpath of a side road which is usually heavily parked. Outside my neighbour’s entrance an A4 sign done in Word from a printer and laminated has been hung wonkily on the fence. All the kerbstones are unpainted, except for those directly outside my neighbour’s entrance, which are painted yellow for about a car’s length. I’d parked overnight outside the neighbour’s entrance, and the houseboys were remonstrating with me. After a very brief exchange I told them to f**k off, and drove away. Yesterday evening on getting home from work the only available parking space was in the same spot, and I parked there. Half an hour later I left to go out for the evening (really good meal at the Italian in the Al Ain Palace Hotel). About 10 people were gathered round my car, transpiring to be my neighbours (who I hadn’t met before) and their entourage, all Indian. Mrs Neighbour turned out to be an arrogant, stuck-up bitchtyrant, demanding that I never, ever park in her parking space again. She slapped her husband for trying to speak. Having got nowhere by appealing to my Britishness (I have great respect for the British, and I am sure you as a Britisher will respect me—which I told her was racist), to my humanity (I am sure you as a human will respect me—I said I respected everybody who deserves it), she responded to my promise not to park there if there was anywhere else to park with “I shall demand justice”; public road, people parking outside my entrance, rental being for the building not the road etc etc left her unswerving. “I shall demand justice”; “From whom?”. “I run 3 schools in Abu Dhabi and my sponsor is the Director of Immigration, I’ll call him now”. Now, its always useful to have an ace up your sleeve, even if it is dubious; and far better to own a gun and never need one, than to need a gun and not have one.

All my insticts and principles were crying get stuffed you arrogant, nasty old bag, I’ll park on the public road where I f**king well want. But we live in a land where doing what’s right and proper in a civilised, ordered country (well, even England for that matter) doesn’t apply. And I doubt said Director—if he exists—would or could do anything, but you just never know…

I’ll now have to walk 25 metres now and again. Life just ain’t fair.

Grace O Malley

yawn, ace up her sleeve. Any local worth his salt would not intervene especially for a parking spot.

I do laugh at how some people think just because they know powerful locals, that when push comes to shove, they will actually help you in a crisis, they won't!

Bahtatboy

Yeah, I know. I have a copper buddy here who turned completely invisible when I needed him. (Well, I think he did, but maybe he did something whilst invisible which caused the problem to go away, as it did...)

The point is its not worth taking risks when you don't really know the rules of the game. I (used to) play cards for money--I never refer to it as gambling, because I always knew precisely the rules of the game I was playing, and the exact odds of potential outcomes; based on those, I could calculate the risk and determine what to do.

None of us really knows the rules of the game here--chances are she was talking bollox, chances are he'd tell her to eff off, chances are all that would happen is that the delegated PC Abdul and I would go through the same argument and end up with the same result, with my blood pressure that bit higher. Thing is, I'm here for a defined purpose, and for the sake of the minor inconvenience of walking a bit now and again, I let a gobby obnoxious neighbour win.

Grace O Malley

I agree, let it go, not worth the hassle. As for rules of the game, ha ha, i think most savvy people here know how to play the game

shiva

speak softly and carry a big stick.



re locals helping, agreed but if and when they do it WILL come at a cost

Patsy Stoned

BB tell her to F**k off. Nobody will do anything, it is a public road, you can park where you like.
Just make sure you install a camera close by so you have proof for when her minions throw paint over your car or key the side of it.

Bahtatboy

I'll let her win this battle for the reasons I've given above.

However, Patsy's point about them keying my car if I did park there has got me thinking...What subtle, untraceable revenge could I take?

Pakistani flag stickers super-glued to her car?
Drawing pins?
Potato in the exhaust pipe?

Give me some ideas.

Umbrella

"I VEAL" bumper sticker?


Go to a Texas Truck Stop and buy mudflaps with silhouettes of nude cowboys on them. Install when dark and don't get caught.



Make an endless loop recording of that annoying "India- Incredible India" commercial and alter her horn so that it plays it.



/must stop
/must stop


U

Patsy Stoned

put a sticker of an Israel flag on the bumper, front and back

seven seas

I've been acting like a complete wanker and I seem to get my way much more often than not.


Most people get out of my way and I end up winning most of the time.

The more people think like you BB, and fantasise about revenge tactics that will always remain fantasies, the more I win.

norsk

I had a similar scenario with a pr*ck in my street in the UK. I let him win as I was afraid he would brick my car or similar, but just to satisfy my need for revenge I half emptied one of his tires every night for a week...

And about 6 months later when he forgot to renew his road tax I called the council to let them know there was an untaxed car in our road...

Inselaffen

if it isn't a local don't worry about it. If its a local (which it isnt) then move your car

Welivehere

Pilchards to tuna in the air intake... After a day or so smells lovely in this weather....

norsk

it sounds like you have experience..

Confucius

Don't ever let them get the best of you...Tell them to **ck off and move into a new house overnight...