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friday Joke time (non japanese please)

friday Joke time (non japanese please)

Old Mar 18th 2011, 8:15 am
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Default friday Joke time (non japanese please)

ill kick off with this

I went to a disco last night.

They played the twist, so I did the twist.

They played jump, so I jumped.

They played "Come on Eileen"... got kicked out after that one!

tumbleweed time....
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 8:25 am
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

Dyslexic Sex Worker . . . .
. . . . Loves to Cook Sock!

Dyslexic Devil Worshiper . . .
. . . . Sold his soul to Santa!

Dyslexic Nazi
. . . . Tried to make a Jew out of a Lampshade!
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 9:23 am
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

My wife has asked me to get her some gloves to wear at her mother's funeral.

Does anyone know where I can buy those giant foam fingers?
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 9:46 am
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster announces that six Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident.

The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably.

Confused, her husband says: "It is sad, but they were skydiving. There were risks involved."

"I know," the blonde says. "But how many is a Brazilian?"
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 12:46 pm
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

. . . From the 'Recent Past' in Yemen! - Spell Checker OFF!

Schoolteacher to her class . . .
If I bought a Teddy Bear at the Souq for $5 called him 'Mohammad' and then sold him for $10 would I have made a 'Profit?'

Last edited by jackthehat; Mar 18th 2011 at 1:32 pm.
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 2:11 pm
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)



Joudan wa yamete - don't joke in Japanese.
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 3:00 pm
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

Dyslexic Nazi
. . . . Tried to make a Jew out of a Lampshade!
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 4:20 pm
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

I was ramming this little girl up the arse the other day.

"Oi, any more of that and you're off the dodgems," shouted the fairground owner.
Please give generously to Comic Relief.

Just £30 000 is enough to send a washed up, B-list comedian and a film crew on an all expenses paid holiday to Africa.
My 5yr old wants to dress up as a pirate for a birthday party. What do Somalians wear?
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 4:36 pm
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

what would bob the builder be if he wasnt a builder...........BOB.....

What do cannibals do after they dump their girlfriends? wipe their arses

how do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Give it a blowjob
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Old Mar 18th 2011, 9:48 pm
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

Ok, so if this is to become one of those ongoing threads, let's start a 'Knock, Knock' joke thread. I'll start it off and anybody can jump in with the answer and response:

Knock, knock ...
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Old Mar 19th 2011, 8:34 am
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Who's there......
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Old Mar 19th 2011, 9:46 am
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

Q. How did the Muslim adulteress cross the road?

A. She was dragged by her feet, kicking and screaming, then she was stoned to death by a baying lynch-mob of brainwashed psychopaths.
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Old Mar 19th 2011, 10:17 am
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Q: Why are Saudis buried 6 Feet under the Ground?

A: Because 'Deep Down' they are Nice People!
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Old Mar 20th 2011, 10:39 am
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Pokemon (noun): A Rastafarian proctologist
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Old Mar 20th 2011, 10:46 am
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Default Re: friday Joke time (non japanese please)

Saw this on another site,

" A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake in Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, ‘By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said ‘There’s no money in that account.’ ‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!’
See…….Not All Seniors Are Senile"
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