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a few paddy jokes for yee on my return

a few paddy jokes for yee on my return

Old Apr 7th 2009, 10:12 am
  #1  
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Default a few paddy jokes for yee on my return

Dublin man sees a job advertised for a fanny waxer's assistant. Job profile says, remove ladies nicurs, prepare fanny for waxing and then rub oil after waxing.

Dublin man asks about the job at the job center and is told to go to Galway.

Dublin man asks if that is where the job is and is told no, thats the end of fcking queue.

************************************************** ****

Paddy and mick need a drink but only have 50cents between them.

Paddy takes the 50cents and goes into the butchers shops and buys a sausage

They enter a bar and order 2 pints of Guinness and down them in one. WHen the barman asks for payment , paddy puts the sausage in his fly and mick sucks it,

The barman throws them out

By the 10th pub, Mick says I cant do this anymore, my knees are killing me, paddy replies, your knees, i lost the sausage is the 2nd bar

************************************************** **



Bitter husband says to wife, on your headstone I'll put

Cold as Ever

Wife says

Thats OK, on yours I'll put

Stiff at Last
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Old Apr 7th 2009, 11:19 am
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Old Apr 7th 2009, 12:08 pm
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Default Re: a few paddy jokes for yee on my return

Cork City:
The priest was waiting on Saturday afternoon for his usual parade of people coming to confession. In comes a man so drunk, he is stumbling down the aisle, bouncing from pew to pew. Finally he finds the confessional, goes in, and shuts the door.

The priest goes in his side and waits. Nothing happens. He clears his throat so the fellow might know he is there and ready. No reaction. Finally, he starts losing his patience and bangs sharply on the wall three times.

The drunk fellow in the confessional says, "Tis no use knockin' fella...There's no paper in here either!"


N.

Many people die of thirst but the Irish are born with one.
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Old Apr 7th 2009, 1:06 pm
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