Max the Dog

Hello all,
I know this is not expat woman, but would appreciate some advice on matters matrimonial.
I am in the throws of separation and ultimately divorce.
I have 2 young boys and it seems as amicable as it could be at the moment with my wife.
Can anyone who has been through similar circumstances PM me.

Kix

It starts shit, get's even shittier, slowly gets better, 3 years later you are civil, 5 years later you buy her a drink (in a bar with other friends), 7 years later you have Christmas Lunch together - again with a group.

mikewot

Hhhhmmm, starts shit and goes downhill from there. Only ever see each other at kids weddings and don't speak.
However it could be worse, you could still be married to her.

BTW Expatbirds is the place you wear your heart on your sleeve, you'll get mauled in here.

Kix

I don't agree, I think the OP is better posting it here, at least he wont be accused of shagging the maid...

Millhouse

why would you do that?

Kix

Kids.

Crewegirl

You may be one of the lucky ones who stays amicable and I hope for the kids sake you do but then again she could use the kids as weapons and totally destroy your life.

kittycat1

were you shagging the maid?

scrubbedexpat141

Sorry to hear Max, but as Crewegirl says...try and keep it amicable.

My parents will both claim today they were good as gold whilst still (20 years since they split) pointing out that the other used my sister and I to get back at each other.

Just make sure neither of you do that, it's real cunty.

Hope you get things sorted, if it's gone far enough that it's inevitable then you know it's the right decision so you can at least act with conviction knowing you'll be better/happier at the end of it.

mentalist

Sorry that things aren't working out. How old are the kids? Presumably they will be staying with their mother, which will be a strain on your emotions. The other effect is the financial one. Having gone through two amicable divorces myself, each one has effectively cut my savings in half. Fortunately no kids were involved. In your case however, there will presumably be a hefty maintenance to pay at least until the kids finish their education. My advice would be to seriously consider giving it another try before finally getting lawyers involved.

Max the Dog

Thanks for all the reply, optimistic and otherwise

She will stay in the villa with the kids and I will have open access, but she is asking for 50% of my income, on-going as well...which will be a strain!!

scrubbedexpat141

Eh?

Fair enough give some cash (which it doesn't sound like you'd be tight about) so kids can be clothed, fed, watered and sheltered but half your income? For what?

I appreciate it's more complicated out here because you'll want to see them, but half your money? Really?

mikewot

Be thankful thats all she's asking for at the moment. Once lawyers get involved that'll go up. How much are you going to pay towards the kids?

Kix

If you think about it 50% is about right.

Hypothetical situation, package of 60k/month all in.

Villa (mentioned) 15000
Dewa 1000
School fees 8000 for 2 kids
General "stuff" 6-8000 food, clothes, school trips etc.
Flights?

Does she work? Can she work?

Harsh but true.

martinbkk

If she has no income then 50% to take care of her and the kids, 3 people, while you get 50% just for you, sounds like a deal. I'd get this notarised and signed quick. Once she decides to switch into uber-bitch mode and the legal eagles start circling you'll be at 75-25 in no time, plus future earnings, plus savings, plus plus plus...