Ethos83

It's Thursday, the countdown to four pee-um begins (for those of us with reduced working hours courtesy of Ramadan).

To keep the clock ticking I thought I'd start a list of the Dives of Dubai to aid Millie when he makes the leap up here.

The first few, in order from worst to best (relatively speaking!)

1. Rattle Snake at Metropolitan (simply scary but the best place to pick up hookers if you live in New Dubai)
2. Rock Bottom in Regent Palace Hotel in Bur Dubai (gross but not scary)
3. Waxy O'Connor at Ascot Hotel in Bur Dubai (the carpets, walls and the air itself is a permanent nicotine fug and the brunch is greasy and awful but terribly, terribly cheap).
4. Aussie Legends at Rydges on Al Diyafa in Satwa (mildly sketchy but the management cares enough to employ Western bar staff, plus there's billiards and football tables)
5. Boston Bar at Jumeirah Rotana on Al Diyafa in Satwa (best place to watch the sad British blokes and their Filipino girlfrieds. Popular with the red-faced expats who've been in Dubai since the 1970s)
6. Red Lion at Metropolitan. A step up from Rattle Snake.

There's tons more in the Bur Dubai and Deira vicinity of which I'm sure some of you are more familiar with than I am, so pony up your recommendations. I've only been to one Deira bar at an anonymous hotel, on a week night, and it was an odd rather than fascinating experience especially the Russian girl band that lip-synched through an entire song while as devoid of emotion or sexual appeal as possible.

Oh - there's also a few bars in the Al Barsha/Tecom cheap hotel ghetto that may be contenders for the future dives of Dubai category - could be worthwhile to scope them out before word gets out on the street, not to mention they're hellava more convenient to me in the Greens.

ctfc

Best weird experience dive: Iranian nightclub, top floor St George Hotel in Deira

Best rock band in Dubai (after Ramadan) dive: Mariners Club @ Seaview (sea of hookers too but easily ignored, you'd need to have so much to drink to find them attractive that you wouldn't be able to walk IMHO). Also wins prize for best heavily tattooed lesbian bass player possibly anywhere.

Best for line dancing with drunk arabs dive: Broadway Hotel , Al Rigga - not sure if the women there are hookers or refugees from Central Asia's annual hairiest female sumo wrestlers contest

Bahtatboy

Best? You mean she has competition?

Brains1983

rockafellas in the regal plaza, bur dubai. had been boozing in goodies downstairs and none the wiser what went on upstairs until I saw the women coming in with the ninja suits, going into a room accross from the bar, and then they come back out "dressed to impress".

co durham boy

Jockeys Bar - Panorama Hotel-Bur Dubai

If there was ever a place that described the word dive it's that place . Pig ugly birds on the game , shite overpriced beer and horrendous bogs. Your feet even stick to the carpet.

Then you realise there isn't a carpet.....Makes the Rattlesnake look like Claridges...!!!

Millhouse

sounds awesome. That is on the list to visit

Greying fox

Not that I know personally, but you have to go a long way to be lower than the Panorama. It is difficult to be thrown out or banned.

There's a table of Scots that don't move from their pitch occasionally visited by the Queen of Scotland. She is a fine, dignified lady who probably turns up to administer the Poor Law handouts. Beyond that they used to have a DJ who used to play , by popular acclaim, Rolf Harris's dubious "Two Little Boys" to get the evening going. He went back to UK and had a bread delivery round in Bournemouth. Dead now from too much life.

Also the Moscow Bar in the Carlton, Deira is quite classy. On Red Letter Days they gave all the ladies a red rose and a knowing leer. Once the dancing started it is all- in wrestling with arms raised. Being pressed up against others you realized a few had hardware in their pockets.

Dubai has plenty of boring bars but also some gems

benzonar

Surprised noone has mentioned Nelsons, that place is truly sad and full of pot bellied long in the tooth expats who still think it is 1970.

Bahtatboy

Right then, looks like Millhouse and I are up for some exploration (have to be mid-September onwards), strictly for research purposes. I've never been drinking in Dubai, 'cept in the JA Club (does that count?). Anyone else care to accompany us?

Greying fox

You could twist my arm.

En recherche du temps perdu. I knew I had lost something there....

Jim Smith

Surprised the York Club hasn't picked up a vote, good or bad!

Or Jules Bar in Deira. Avoid Thursdays as that seems to be gay night!!

littlejimmy

TGIT merits a mention. I had the pleasure once (a mischevious mate sent me there) and exited very quickly with a trail of Chinese women behind me. They were more troublesome than angry wasps.

Autonomy

yup - easily the dodgiest / worst bar I've been in while here....

co durham boy

Im afraid it's gay night most nights in there.......'Dubai's underground gay scene'

the_red_sheep

I've managed to visit a few of the above in my short time here, and too be honest while they've all had a certain 'character' at least there not soulless voids full of personality bypassed, bleach blond clothes racks and sleezey pretentious wakners that so many of the 'fashionable' bars and clubs around Dubai.

And yes I'm happy to join in on the research tour.