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Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Old Aug 3rd 2007, 5:36 am
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Default Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Hello,

Dire Bollock All here!

I have decided that, as you are all so pathetically inferior to me, and have less money, and all drive Ford Focuses, I will share with you my secrets.

These are the rules that have helped me irritate people for decades. I have always found that if I stick to them, people will get a pretty good idea of the sort of person I am.

There are FIVE key rules, which are:

1 – If I have a hole in my pocket, I feel cocky all day
2 – Me having sex is like me fighting Mike Tyson; I get licked in the ring by a big strong man
3 – My penis is like a cheese soufflé; however much I beat it, it still stays soft
4 – Sex with a woman is like popularity; it’s something I will never experience
5 – It doesn't matter how successful you are; if you act like a tosspot, people may start to think you ARE a tosspot.

Now come on people, get out there and see if YOU can be like ME!!!!!!
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 5:39 am
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

K for that.....
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 6:36 am
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

I can't I am a successful business woman, is is Indie and all the ladies on here
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 12:45 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
Hello,

Dire Bollock All here!

I have decided that, as you are all so pathetically inferior to me, and have less money, and all drive Ford Focuses, I will share with you my secrets.

These are the rules that have helped me irritate people for decades. I have always found that if I stick to them, people will get a pretty good idea of the sort of person I am.

There are FIVE key rules, which are:

1 – If I have a hole in my pocket, I feel cocky all day
2 – Me having sex is like me fighting Mike Tyson; I get licked in the ring by a big strong man
3 – My penis is like a cheese soufflé; however much I beat it, it still stays soft
4 – Sex with a woman is like popularity; it’s something I will never experience
5 – It doesn't matter how successful you are; if you act like a tosspot, people may start to think you ARE a tosspot.

Now come on people, get out there and see if YOU can be like ME!!!!!!
Only please confirm something for me and the masses; are you male or female????
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 12:56 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Confucius View Post
Only please confirm something for me and the masses; are you male or female????
from point 1 i'm guessing a she male
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 12:57 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Cham128 View Post
from point 1 i'm guessing a she male
read it again
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:11 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Cham128 View Post
from point 1 i'm guessing a she male
Originally Posted by beebee View Post
read it again
IT has a ring and is cocky and has yet to make love to a woman...
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:14 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Confucius View Post
IT has a ring and is cocky and has yet to make love to a woman...
point 3 does say she has a penis... unless she's referring to her partners... but i still don't understand what her gender has to do with my ford focus
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:15 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Cham128 View Post
point 3 does say she has a penis... unless she's referring to her partners... but i still don't understand what her gender has to do with my ford focus
so what is number 4 about then...

MM, xx
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:16 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Cham128 View Post
point 3 does say she has a penis... unless she's referring to her partners... but i still don't understand what her gender has to do with my ford focus
Well.. maybe I am reading it wrong but the post is not about herself?
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:18 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by beebee View Post
Well.. maybe I am reading it wrong but the post is not about herself?
he's a guy, non...??

MM, xx
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:20 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa View Post
so what is number 4 about then...

MM, xx
he is a gay man
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:21 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by beebee View Post
Well.. maybe I am reading it wrong but the post is not about herself?
i'm sure this post is in reference to another post on here
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:22 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Blue Cat View Post
he is a gay man
so wait if a she male likes men does that make it gay?

I'm asking that honestly as I have no idea... have never met one... so i'll ask if i do
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Old Aug 3rd 2007, 1:23 pm
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Default Re: Dire Bollock All - my five rules of life

Originally Posted by Cham128 View Post
so wait if a she male likes men does that make it gay?

I'm asking that honestly as I have no idea... have never met one... so i'll ask if i do
Dean is taking the piss out of diabolical Dire Bollock All get it??
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