CV Classics

Old Jul 17th 2011, 1:59 pm
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Default CV Classics

You all know what I do. No point repeating, most of you think what I do is a scummy, a bit bottom of the barrel and most of you have had a bad experience with a shit recruiter before (of which there are millions).

However, on a daily basis I get some blinding quotes. Enough to fill a book, and I'm going to post some of these for your / my amusement.

Starting with a classic covering letter;

"I’ve been working for Toyota/Lexus Saudi for ten years in different fields (Customer Service, Operations Management, and Development and Training Dept),

I writing to you and attached my CV referring to the job vacancy of MEP Project Director"
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Old Jul 17th 2011, 2:15 pm
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
You all know what I do. No point repeating, most of you think what I do is a scummy, a bit bottom of the barrel and most of you have had a bad experience with a shit recruiter before (of which there are millions).

However, on a daily basis I get some blinding quotes. Enough to fill a book, and I'm going to post some of these for your / my amusement.

Starting with a classic covering letter;

"I’ve been working for Toyota/Lexus Saudi for ten years in different fields (Customer Service, Operations Management, and Development and Training Dept),

I writing to you and attached my CV referring to the job vacancy of MEP Project Director"
The trouble is some of these people have actually been employed in the last 5 years !
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Old Jul 17th 2011, 3:25 pm
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Default Re: CV Classics

Best I had, was a chap who said in the Hobbies and Interests Section . . . "I enjoy reading, writing, swimming and pornography"

Well at least he was honest! - But unfortunately, I did not have access to a 'Pornograph' to view his hobbies!
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Old Jul 17th 2011, 8:16 pm
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Default Re: CV Classics

What would you think of a young female candidate who included "Watching Horror Movies" among her interests?
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Old Jul 17th 2011, 9:30 pm
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
What would you think of a young female candidate who included "Watching Horror Movies" among her interests?
Was she called Carrie?
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Old Jul 17th 2011, 11:21 pm
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
What would you think of a young female candidate who included "Watching Horror Movies" among her interests?
I'd commend her, surely.

Best I saw..a Kenyan man applying for an engineer job..'certificates: Driving license'
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 4:13 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

First email opened today and I find this;

"Trainings;

Leadership Skills
Public Speaking Skills
Reliability"

I'd love to be trained in reliability. I'm probably at a 7 or 8 at the moment, if I can find the course to make me 10/10 reliable it'd be amazing.
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 4:20 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
What would you think of a young female candidate who included "Watching Horror Movies" among her interests?
Each to their own. Followed swiftly by delete...(unless the CV was quality).

Most of you must be able to skim down a CV in 3-4 seconds and say yes - read more or no, delete.
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 4:53 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

Whats with the sending of pictures with CVs? Never seen this in the Uk but here every CV I get has a little picture attached- why?
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 5:12 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by kittycat1 View Post
Whats with the sending of pictures with CVs? Never seen this in the Uk but here every CV I get has a little picture attached- why?
I can say this because I'm no stunner, but some of the pictures are abysmal as well, in fact, most don't represent what the person looks like either.

Good for a laugh though.
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 5:48 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

CVs written in the third person were always good for a momentary laugh.
Before being immediately discarded.
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 6:23 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by kittycat1 View Post
Whats with the sending of pictures with CVs? Never seen this in the Uk but here every CV I get has a little picture attached- why?
Because Arabs want a pretty face especially with women and sometimes even men , it's quite common to see an advert for ' Good looking Receptionist required nice arse a must '....
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 6:25 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by co durham boy View Post
it's quite common to see an advert for ' Good looking Receptionist required nice arse a must '....
And that's just for the male receptionist...
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 6:31 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
And that's just for the male receptionist...
That would read ....' Arse like a Choirboy '...!
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Old Jul 18th 2011, 6:44 am
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by co durham boy View Post
That would read ....' Arse like a Choirboy '...!
Brilliant.

One of the lads in the office has a 2 inch square advert cut out of the paper in Doha;

BOY
Needed.
All Duties
0123456789


Classic stuff
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