CV Classics

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Old Jun 18th 2012, 3:02 pm
  #166  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Scamp
Respected sir,


Objective : Seek the position of Driver Remarkably talented with huge years of GCC experience in providing top quality service to company's customers.


Professional Experience


Driving License : GCC Valid Motor Vehicles License.

Joining period : Immediately.

Present location : India.


Yours sincerely,
Will he get relocation allowance?
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Old Jun 19th 2012, 4:08 am
  #167  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by NorthernLad
Will he get relocation allowance?
Not sure yet, we've emailed him and asked to tell us more about his "remarkably talented" driving abilities and "huge years" of experience.
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Old Oct 31st 2012, 7:50 am
  #168  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Personal Summary and Life Motto

"I may be Indian but I have the mind of a Westerner man"
I couldn't make this shit up.
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Old Oct 31st 2012, 8:01 am
  #169  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Quote:

Personal Summary and Life Motto

"I may be Indian but I have the mind of a Westerner man"

Originally Posted by Scamp
I couldn't make this shit up.
Tonto ???
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Old Oct 31st 2012, 8:33 am
  #170  
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Default Re: CV Classics

todays special is

"A qualified Senior Projects Manager with a six years experience in Marketing and Sales Management in the XXXXX projects business with an architectural background; seeking a Managing Director position in a multinational company where my sales, management, marketing and Design talents can be effectively
utilized within a dynamic organization to contribute profits to the company."

MD position, umm yeah ok mate why not.
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Old Oct 31st 2012, 8:45 am
  #171  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by shiva
todays special is

"A qualified Senior Projects Manager with a six years experience in Marketing and Sales Management in the XXXXX projects business with an architectural background; seeking a Managing Director position in a multinational company where my sales, management, marketing and Design talents can be effectively
utilized within a dynamic organization to contribute profits to the company."

MD position, umm yeah ok mate why not.
Senior PM. 6 years.

Does not compute.
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Old Oct 31st 2012, 9:47 am
  #172  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by shiva
todays special is

"A qualified Senior Projects Manager with a six years experience in Marketing and Sales Management in the XXXXX projects business with an architectural background; seeking a Managing Director position in a multinational company where my sales, management, marketing and Design talents can be effectively
utilized within a dynamic organization to contribute profits to the company."

MD position, umm yeah ok mate why not.
That's hilarious! If only I had a Forbes 500 listed company to give him to play with as an experiment.
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Old Oct 31st 2012, 5:31 pm
  #173  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Scamp
Senior PM. 6 years.

Does not compute.
typical title inflation that happens in South Asia. i recently interviewed the 'Head of Investment Banking' ... 4 years experience - we offered him an analyst job. (some discussion on titles followed - we do not negotiate this - and he accepted the job)
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Old Jan 2nd 2013, 11:45 am
  #174  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Today I've gone through 563 CVs that came in from adverts over the Xmas period. I am left with 28 that at a glance, look like they are worth a proper read and a call.

It took me roughly 5 hours to complete. Less an hour for having a smoke, readign BBC sport, posting on here, making a coffee and a poo.

563/4 = 140 per hour
= 2.35 per minute

Two lessons for you all:

1. Make that shit interesting because you get about 25 seconds for it to be opened, skimmed and deleted / flagged.
2. My job has some of the most mind-numbing things to do sometimes.
3. Sometimes you have to wade through serious shit to find the nuggets. We all know this, but don't put it off. Of those 28 there are probable 10 that'll make me money = 4/5 Hours well spent.
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Old Jan 2nd 2013, 11:57 am
  #175  
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Default Re: CV Classics

What kind of jobs do you recruit for Scamp?
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Old Jan 2nd 2013, 12:01 pm
  #176  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Blue Cat
What kind of jobs do you recruit for Scamp?
Construction...everything from Senior Engineers up across most disciplines.

I prefer and am more experienced / better at the senior stuff.

Shit's interesting though, couldn't do IT or HR recruitment - I like to place people on projects and have a wander round them and see them turn into buildings. It interests me, wish I'd thought or / had been told about construction as a career.
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Old Jan 2nd 2013, 12:38 pm
  #177  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Scamp
wish I'd thought or / had been told about construction as a career.
honestly not too late to change in your mid-20s...you've obviously got a very good general construction knowledge

now f**k off down the merchants and pick up some sky hooks and tartan paint
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Old Jan 2nd 2013, 1:28 pm
  #178  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Scamp
Construction...everything from Senior Engineers up across most disciplines.

I prefer and am more experienced / better at the senior stuff.

Shit's interesting though, couldn't do IT or HR recruitment - I like to place people on projects and have a wander round them and see them turn into buildings. It interests me, wish I'd thought or / had been told about construction as a career.
sounds good, I have always felt that a Medical Staffing recruitment agency would do well here.
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Old Jan 2nd 2013, 5:28 pm
  #179  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Originally Posted by Blue Cat
sounds good, I have always felt that a Medical Staffing recruitment agency would do well here.
Can I apply for the position of Chief Interviewer? I have my own couch...
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Old Jan 2nd 2013, 7:14 pm
  #180  
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Default Re: CV Classics

Ok guys, my wife loves Dubai so I got marching orders to relocate from KSA by the end of 2013.

Seasoned PM with military / consultancy / EPC experience, currently in directors role, I seem to be the go-to guy for crisis ridden and ravaged projects. Background in energy management / telecom and utility automation but able to manage construction and HV/MV electricity projects. Get me a job in Dubai pls $220k package pls.
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