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Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Old Feb 5th 2013, 7:03 am
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

To be fair Scamp they are 3 & 5 and as far as i can remember they have both only been smacked twice.

One each for safety reasons, one had a habit of trying to stick things into a plug sockets (they can remove those wanky cover things fairly easily at about 2yrs old) and the other one was climbing on the balcony railings. In both instances trying to get a 3 year old and 4 year old to understand the potential consequences wasn't working, so after numerous attempts to stop them I resorted to a deterrent that has a more immediate conceptual impact.. My hand, their backside.....

The other time were for just general bad behavior and were not really the result of specific incident but more a build up of behaviors that as parents we did not find acceptable. It got to the "straw, camel, back" point where a smack made the point and since which time just the threat is sufficient.

IMO Dean's approach works once they are old enough to understand actions and consequences. As ours are getting a little older this is something we are starting to use and much prefer but ultimately I still dont believe that smacking is wrong or causes any long term issues.

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Old Feb 5th 2013, 7:36 am
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Welivehere View Post
To be fair Scamp they are 3 & 5 and as far as i can remember they have both only been smacked twice.

One each for safety reasons, one had a habit of trying to stick things into a plug sockets (they can remove those wanky cover things fairly easily at about 2yrs old) and the other one was climbing on the balcony railings. In both instances trying to get a 3 year old and 4 year old to understand the potential consequences wasn't working, so after numerous attempts to stop them I resorted to a deterrent that has a more immediate conceptual impact.. My hand, their backside.....

The other time were for just general bad behavior and were not really the result of specific incident but more a build up of behaviors that as parents we did not find acceptable. It got to the "straw, camel, back" point where a smack made the point and since which time just the threat is sufficient.

IMO Dean's approach works once they are old enough to understand actions and consequences. As ours are getting a little older this is something we are starting to use and much prefer but ultimately I still dont believe that smacking is wrong or causes any long term issues.
Sounds fair enough to me.

Young kids don't always understand danger do they.
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 8:55 am
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

It's not just kids Scamp! Research shows that until men are around 24 they haven't learnt hoe to assess risk.
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 9:15 am
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by al dente View Post
It's not just kids Scamp! Research shows that until men are around 24 they haven't learnt hoe to assess risk.
I'm 25 in about 40 days.

I've got to survive 40 days until I'm safe.

OPERATION GET SCAMP TO 25 HAS BEGUN.
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 9:26 am
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
OPERATION GET SCAMP TO 25 HAS BEGUN.
You need one of these mush:
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 9:42 am
  #51  
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Welivehere View Post
You need one of these mush:
Did that near Gatwick somewhere on a big hill. Was cool....wanted to do it again until I saw the video of a guy doing it on a ski holiday and it went out the tracks and he died. Poor bloke.
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 10:12 am
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

go zorbing they said, it's fun they said.
**** that I said

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Old Feb 5th 2013, 5:31 pm
  #53  
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Welivehere View Post
The question is loaded as you knew when you wrote it...
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.

How do you discipline your kids?
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.

So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.

Last edited by Eeyore; Feb 5th 2013 at 5:33 pm.
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 7:20 pm
  #54  
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Eeyore View Post
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.


We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.

So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
Bullshit. It worked for generations, is there some correlation between the way kids behave today and the rise of The Modern Parents? Me and without exception all of my friends suffered *assault* from our elders when young, and all turned out well.

Was this you....http://www.7daysindubai.com/Brunch-r...ail/story.html ?
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 7:44 pm
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

I assaulted my boy this morning when for the umpteenth time he omitted hand washing after toilet and grabbed the toothbrush. A slap on the bum as previous 22 conversations on the subject seemed to have not had the desired effect.

When I was in elementary we used to get punished a lot because we were acting like twats most time. Today kids are brought up without authority and as a result no respect for teachers. Just be yourself is the worst possible life advice a child forming into an adult can receive.
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Old Feb 5th 2013, 7:50 pm
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Eeyore View Post
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.
I do the same when discussing welfare. So instead of hiding behind words like 'deprived' and 'less fortunate' I call this the way it is - 'useless layabouts'.
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Old Feb 6th 2013, 3:56 am
  #57  
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Eeyore View Post
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.


We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.

So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
I think the above is just self-righteous drivel to be quite honest.

If I'm lucky enough to have children in the future I think my attitude would be the same as it is now. Smack bum / Assault / Beating / Violent attack / death to all mankind when there's a serious ****ing lesson to be learned. It's not something to be dished out daily by any stretch. Last resort.

I think something that would be interesting to understand is that if assaulting kids is so wrong and doesn't work...are your kids absolute angels that never misbehave and never push and push and push until they are deliberately acting like shits?


Originally Posted by Desert Dubliner View Post
I assaulted my boy this morning when for the umpteenth time he omitted hand washing after toilet and grabbed the toothbrush. A slap on the bum as previous 22 conversations on the subject seemed to have not had the desired effect.
You're doing it wrong.

Give him a pat on the head (gentle) when he does remember to wash his hands. He'll love it so much that he'll never forget again.
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Old Feb 6th 2013, 6:49 am
  #58  
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Originally Posted by Eeyore View Post
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.


We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.

So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
Oh, this is trolltastic.... Self righteous, holier than thou, patronising and inflammatory... It's that badly done I can't even be bothered to formulate a response.
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Old Feb 6th 2013, 8:06 am
  #59  
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert Dubliner

I assaulted my boy this morning when for the umpteenth time he omitted hand washing after toilet and grabbed the toothbrush. A slap on the bum as previous 22 conversations on the subject seemed to have not had the desired effect.

You're doing it wrong.

Give him a pat on the head (gentle) when he does remember to wash his hands. He'll love it so much that he'll never forget again.
Or pee on his hands and tell him you will continue to do this until he washes them....
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Old Feb 6th 2013, 8:08 am
  #60  
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Default Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking

shiva, that zorbing video has me doubled up, tears rolling down my face. I feel terrible laughing at their misfortune - I hope they were OK and didn't die or anything?

Just read one of them died, Now I feel awful. :-(

Last edited by kittycat1; Feb 6th 2013 at 8:14 am.
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