Chris Grayling defends child smacking
#46
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
To be fair Scamp they are 3 & 5 and as far as i can remember they have both only been smacked twice.
One each for safety reasons, one had a habit of trying to stick things into a plug sockets (they can remove those wanky cover things fairly easily at about 2yrs old) and the other one was climbing on the balcony railings. In both instances trying to get a 3 year old and 4 year old to understand the potential consequences wasn't working, so after numerous attempts to stop them I resorted to a deterrent that has a more immediate conceptual impact.. My hand, their backside.....
The other time were for just general bad behavior and were not really the result of specific incident but more a build up of behaviors that as parents we did not find acceptable. It got to the "straw, camel, back" point where a smack made the point and since which time just the threat is sufficient.
IMO Dean's approach works once they are old enough to understand actions and consequences. As ours are getting a little older this is something we are starting to use and much prefer but ultimately I still dont believe that smacking is wrong or causes any long term issues.
One each for safety reasons, one had a habit of trying to stick things into a plug sockets (they can remove those wanky cover things fairly easily at about 2yrs old) and the other one was climbing on the balcony railings. In both instances trying to get a 3 year old and 4 year old to understand the potential consequences wasn't working, so after numerous attempts to stop them I resorted to a deterrent that has a more immediate conceptual impact.. My hand, their backside.....
The other time were for just general bad behavior and were not really the result of specific incident but more a build up of behaviors that as parents we did not find acceptable. It got to the "straw, camel, back" point where a smack made the point and since which time just the threat is sufficient.
IMO Dean's approach works once they are old enough to understand actions and consequences. As ours are getting a little older this is something we are starting to use and much prefer but ultimately I still dont believe that smacking is wrong or causes any long term issues.
Last edited by Welivehere; Feb 5th 2013 at 7:06 am.
#47
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
To be fair Scamp they are 3 & 5 and as far as i can remember they have both only been smacked twice.
One each for safety reasons, one had a habit of trying to stick things into a plug sockets (they can remove those wanky cover things fairly easily at about 2yrs old) and the other one was climbing on the balcony railings. In both instances trying to get a 3 year old and 4 year old to understand the potential consequences wasn't working, so after numerous attempts to stop them I resorted to a deterrent that has a more immediate conceptual impact.. My hand, their backside.....
The other time were for just general bad behavior and were not really the result of specific incident but more a build up of behaviors that as parents we did not find acceptable. It got to the "straw, camel, back" point where a smack made the point and since which time just the threat is sufficient.
IMO Dean's approach works once they are old enough to understand actions and consequences. As ours are getting a little older this is something we are starting to use and much prefer but ultimately I still dont believe that smacking is wrong or causes any long term issues.
One each for safety reasons, one had a habit of trying to stick things into a plug sockets (they can remove those wanky cover things fairly easily at about 2yrs old) and the other one was climbing on the balcony railings. In both instances trying to get a 3 year old and 4 year old to understand the potential consequences wasn't working, so after numerous attempts to stop them I resorted to a deterrent that has a more immediate conceptual impact.. My hand, their backside.....
The other time were for just general bad behavior and were not really the result of specific incident but more a build up of behaviors that as parents we did not find acceptable. It got to the "straw, camel, back" point where a smack made the point and since which time just the threat is sufficient.
IMO Dean's approach works once they are old enough to understand actions and consequences. As ours are getting a little older this is something we are starting to use and much prefer but ultimately I still dont believe that smacking is wrong or causes any long term issues.
Young kids don't always understand danger do they.
#48
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Joined: Jun 2008
Location: Abu Dhabi by body and Sydney by soul
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Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
It's not just kids Scamp! Research shows that until men are around 24 they haven't learnt hoe to assess risk.
#52
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
go zorbing they said, it's fun they said.
**** that I said
**** that I said
#53
Soupy twist
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,271
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
How do you discipline your kids?
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
Last edited by Eeyore; Feb 5th 2013 at 5:33 pm.
#54
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
Was this you....http://www.7daysindubai.com/Brunch-r...ail/story.html ?
#55
Banned
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Jeddah, KSA
Posts: 822
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
I assaulted my boy this morning when for the umpteenth time he omitted hand washing after toilet and grabbed the toothbrush. A slap on the bum as previous 22 conversations on the subject seemed to have not had the desired effect.
When I was in elementary we used to get punished a lot because we were acting like twats most time. Today kids are brought up without authority and as a result no respect for teachers. Just be yourself is the worst possible life advice a child forming into an adult can receive.
When I was in elementary we used to get punished a lot because we were acting like twats most time. Today kids are brought up without authority and as a result no respect for teachers. Just be yourself is the worst possible life advice a child forming into an adult can receive.
#56
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Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Jeddah, KSA
Posts: 822
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.
#57
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 0
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
If I'm lucky enough to have children in the future I think my attitude would be the same as it is now. Smack bum / Assault / Beating / Violent attack / death to all mankind when there's a serious ****ing lesson to be learned. It's not something to be dished out daily by any stretch. Last resort.
I think something that would be interesting to understand is that if assaulting kids is so wrong and doesn't work...are your kids absolute angels that never misbehave and never push and push and push until they are deliberately acting like shits?
Give him a pat on the head (gentle) when he does remember to wash his hands. He'll love it so much that he'll never forget again.
#58
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
Absolutely. I quite deliberately phrased it in the way I did, because there's a lot of hiding behind words when discussing this subject. Often you will find that people who profess no problem with smacking their kids suddenly get very defensive if you replace "smacking" with "hitting", "assaulting" or other much more emotionally-loaded words. Yet smacking a child *is* assaulting them, going by the simple dictionary definition (never mind the legal one). You are committing an act of physical violence against their body, with the express intention of causing pain.
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
We remove privileges. It works well, although I am sadly aware that some parents need the catharsis of actually lashing out physically. Some people are just wired that way, but usually it's simply a learned response. Their parents hit them, so they hit their kids, and the cycle perpetuates.
So we have people here who are happy to advocate assaulting children. On one hand I respect your honesty in calling it what it is and not trying and sugar-coat it by insisting that what you're doing somehow isn't assault, but I can't empathise with why you feel you are justified in doing it. How can you not see it as anything other than a failure on your behalf? And what do you feel immediately after you've hit your child and caused them pain? I hope you're not so cold that you feel nothing at all.
#59
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desert Dubliner
I assaulted my boy this morning when for the umpteenth time he omitted hand washing after toilet and grabbed the toothbrush. A slap on the bum as previous 22 conversations on the subject seemed to have not had the desired effect.
You're doing it wrong.
Give him a pat on the head (gentle) when he does remember to wash his hands. He'll love it so much that he'll never forget again.
Originally Posted by Desert Dubliner
I assaulted my boy this morning when for the umpteenth time he omitted hand washing after toilet and grabbed the toothbrush. A slap on the bum as previous 22 conversations on the subject seemed to have not had the desired effect.
You're doing it wrong.
Give him a pat on the head (gentle) when he does remember to wash his hands. He'll love it so much that he'll never forget again.
#60
Re: Chris Grayling defends child smacking
shiva, that zorbing video has me doubled up, tears rolling down my face. I feel terrible laughing at their misfortune - I hope they were OK and didn't die or anything?
Just read one of them died, Now I feel awful. :-(
Just read one of them died, Now I feel awful. :-(
Last edited by kittycat1; Feb 6th 2013 at 8:14 am.