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Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Old Jun 26th 2012, 12:50 pm
  #1  
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Default Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

So what car do you wander around in?

Top 5

BMW 19.21%
Audi 8.79%
Mercedes 8.23%
Jaguar 6.59%
Land Rover 4.94%

For the ladies, BMWs, too 11.16%

And I have a BMW, hmm....

Last edited by Kix; Jun 26th 2012 at 12:52 pm. Reason: Pushed the wrong button
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 12:58 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Kix View Post
So what car do you wander around in?

Top 5

Toyota Landcruiser 95%

BMW 19.21%
Audi 8.79%
Mercedes 8.23%
Jaguar 6.59%
Land Rover 4.94%

For the ladies, BMWs, too 11.16%

And I have a BMW, hmm....
Just changed that slightly..........In the last month I have gone from 19% likely to have a backseat bunk up to 8%. The lady friend will be happy with that.
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 12:58 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

And the drivers of the following are the least likely to be adulterers:

Skoda
UK Ford (except the Capri)
Volvo
VW (except the 2-door ones)
Rover
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:00 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Where do I rank with my RAV 4 then?
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:01 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

what a crock of shit- its always the ones you least expect- not the obvious ones!
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:02 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
Where do I wank with my RAV 4 then?
Pardon?
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:02 pm
  #7  
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
And the drivers of the following are the least likely to be adulterers:

Skoda
UK Ford (except the Capri)
Volvo
VW (except the 2-door ones)
Rover
Not quite

SEATs or Renaults. 0.28%
MG 0.53%
Fiat and Chrysler 0.55%

MGs still exist?
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:04 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
Pardon?
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:04 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Kix View Post
Not quite

SEATs or Renaults. 0.28%
MG 0.53%
Fiat and Chrysler 0.55%

MGs still exist?
Is that from the same "survey"? Ok, Renault drivers in the UK I can understand (not for their choice of car, mind). Mind you, my list perhaps should have been "drivers least likely to have sex", let alone with anyone else.
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:05 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Meow View Post
Is that an invitation?
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:09 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Kix View Post
BMW 19.21%
Do You Have What It Takes To Drive a BMW?

A BMW is a special kind of car, and it takes a special type of person to drive one. We have therefore devised an aptitude test to identify those of the required calibre.

Answer these simple questions to find out if you've got what it takes to drive a common German repmobile with questionable styling:

1. Your BMW is equipped with four orange flashing lights, one at each corner. What should you use them for?

A: To indicate my intention to turn at an approaching junction
B: Nothing: they are entirely decorative, and have no practical purpose
C: To enable me to park wherever and whenever I choose, regardless of disruption to other users of the footpath.

2. When might you use a hand-held mobile phone whilst driving your BMW?

A: Never, as it is inconsiderate to other road users.
B: Strictly in emergency situations only
C: All of the time: I need to keep calling people up to remind them how great I am.

3. You are doing 100 miles an hour in the outside lane of the motorway, when you come up behind another car. What do you do?

A: Slow down to a safer speed, and pull into the lane to my left
B: Ease off just a little to keep a safe distance between the other car and mine
C: Drive right up to the car's bumper and keep flashing my lights until the idiot gets out of my way.

4. Which of these best describes the kind of work that you do?

A: Caring for other people
B: Making something of practical use
C: Selling houses or drugs at a big profit

5. Your latest sales bonus / drug deal leaves you with an extra couple of thousand pounds to spend on your new BMW. What features might you add to its specification?

A: A full leather interior for comfort and durability
B: Satellite navigation to help me get to important meetings on time
C: A set of enormous alloy wheels that make the car look like a giant Tonka toy.

6. You drive your grandmother to the supermarket to do your shopping for you. Where do you park your BMW?

A: In a standard parking space, with all the ordinary cars
B: Parking spaces? I've got those orange lights, remember!
C: Supermarket? The old bat can take the bus and like it.

7. Because of a poorly-designed bend in the road, your BMW mounts a kerb, causing you to run into a group of schoolchildren, and almost drop your mobile phone. Your first words after the accident are most likely to be:

A: "I am so sorry, it's all my fault!" BR>B: "Stay calm everyone, I'll call an ambulance." BR>C: "I'll have to call you back, mate, some stupid kids have … Oh, my God! Look at the state of my car; I paid more than 25 grand for this, you know!"

8. Somebody says that you have such an ego that you think any criticism of you or your BMW can only be motivated by envy. What do you do?

A: Give consideration to what they say; maybe they have a point
B: Have a reasoned discussion to try and change their point of view
C: Ignore them: they are obviously jealous.

Scoring
For each question that you answered ‘A' give yourself 0 points
For each question that you answered ‘B' give yourself 0 points
For each question that you answered ‘C' give yourself 10 points

Your Total
0 to 30 points: Get back to your Nissan Micra, loser!
40 to 50 points: Keep dreaming, or change jobs to something that involves no morals or scruples, then try again - one day you may get there and experience the full joy of BMW ownership!
60 to 70 points: Welcome to the world of BMW! You need never let anyone out of a junction ever again.
80 points: You take smugness to a new level, and you have no mates. Well done! You qualify to drive that most BMW of all BMWs, the 3-Series Convertible.
More than 80 points: Not only are you smug and friendless, but you tell fibs too.
Brilliant! You have landed yourself a plum job on our sales team, where you can talk about yourself to other BMW drivers all day every day. Congratulations, it's no less than you deserve!
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:09 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by Bahtatboy View Post
Is that an invitation?
You are a very bad man.
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:11 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

UK BMW Drivers (but applicable to other drivers in ME)

The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW.
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:15 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

where does my Yugo fall into this?
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Old Jun 26th 2012, 1:17 pm
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Default Re: Car you drive = whether you're likely to be an adulterer

Originally Posted by SDDep View Post
They're coming to take you away, hee hee har har!
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