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-   -   Buttered Cats - Discuss (https://britishexpats.com/forum/sand-pit-116/buttered-cats-discuss-507841/)

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 8:14 am

Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
A cat always lands on it's feet.
Toast always lands buttered-side down.

So if I take my cat and strap a piece of toast (buttered side up) onto his back, and then throw him out of the window, which side up will he land?

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 8:18 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5817725)
A cat always lands on it's feet.
Toast always lands buttered-side down.

So if I take my cat and strap a piece of toast (buttered side up) onto his back, and then throw him out of the window, which side up will he land?

I'm guessing that the cat has slightly more inteligence that the piece of toast so the cat will land on his feet...

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 8:21 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5817745)
I'm guessing that the cat has slightly more inteligence that the piece of toast so the cat will land on his feet...

It's a thought experiment. You have to work on the basis that both pieces of information are true and it is an impossibility for the toast to land buttered side down....

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 8:27 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5817752)
It's a thought experiment. You have to work on the basis that both pieces of information are true and it is an impossibility for the toast to land buttered side down....


Perhaps the toast will cushion the cats fall and hense the cat will be saved ???

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 8:29 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
Some important research conducted by a Dutch team seems to confirm what you are suggesting....



Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 8:32 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5817777)
Some important research conducted by a Dutch team seems to confirm what you are suggesting....


http://youtube.com/watch?v=WofK31pHy40

Can't seem to open :confused:

Perhaps tonight I shall take th kittens and carry out my own experiment, do you think it has to be real butter ???

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 8:40 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5817785)
Can't seem to open :confused:

Perhaps tonight I shall take th kittens and carry out my own experiment, do you think it has to be real butter ???

Oh yes, I'm not sure that Murphy's law works with Flora or peanut butter.

It's also imperative that the kittens refrain from licking the butter from the toast, otherwise the anti-gravity effect will disappear resulting in a nasty fall.

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 8:47 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5817821)
Oh yes, I'm not sure that Murphy's law works with Flora or peanut butter.

It's also imperative that the kittens refrain from licking the butter from the toast, otherwise the anti-gravity effect will disappear resulting in a nasty fall.

Do you think it will mar the experiment if one cat is Ginger and White and the other is Black and White ???

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 8:49 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5817849)
Do you think it will mar the experiment if one cat is Ginger and White and the other is Black and White ???

Well, do they both have equal numbers of feet?

Robbies Jan 21st 2008 8:52 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
I love this theory and have done since I 1st heard it :D

If you google it, you get the following from http://www.begent.org/toast.htm


Variation on The Cat and Buttered Toast Theory...

An American magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new scientific theories on ANY subject.
Below is the winner:

Subject: Perpetual Motion

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down.

Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground.

If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

.....and then this mail got this reply from one of the recipients:

I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats.

Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.

Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula: p = s * t(t)/t? where p is the probability of carpet impact, s is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.

Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero.

t? and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 8:57 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
This is why BE rocks....

We've solved the energy crisis with chicken tikka masalla cats and it's still 4 hours to sundowner time...

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 8:58 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Robbies (Post 5817861)
I love this theory and have done since I 1st heard it :D

If you google it, you get the following from http://www.begent.org/toast.htm


Variation on The Cat and Buttered Toast Theory...

An American magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit new scientific theories on ANY subject.
Below is the winner:

Subject: Perpetual Motion

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down.

Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground.

If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

.....and then this mail got this reply from one of the recipients:

I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats.

Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.

Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula: p = s * t(t)/t? where p is the probability of carpet impact, s is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.

Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero.
t? and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the colour of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour.

So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.

Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.

Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet

Sorry have to disagree here as the stain factor of water on silk is actually very high.... he needs to relppk at his theory

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 8:59 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5817855)
Well, do they both have equal numbers of feet?

Yes but black and white's feet are bigger !!!

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 9:02 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5817884)
Sorry have to disagree here as the stain factor of water on silk is actually very high.... he needs to relppk at his theory

Yes, but the reference material for the bottom mono-rail is white shag carpet. One would have to study the cost/performance benefits of using wet cats with silk rails.

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 9:03 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5817886)
Yes but black and white's feet are bigger !!!

Well he'll just float a bit higher then. If you were to remove one of his feet, I imagine that he would spin at high velocity due to an out of balance centripetal moment acting about his inertial tensor.

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 9:10 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5817897)
Well he'll just float a bit higher then. If you were to remove one of his feet, I imagine that he would spin at high velocity due to an out of balance centripetal moment acting about his inertial tensor.

He might just tip over in a forward manner

Madam Medusa Jan 21st 2008 9:11 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
omg, you're barking...the lot of you :D

MM, xx

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 9:13 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa (Post 5817916)
omg, you're barking...the lot of you :D

MM, xx

That would be meowing.... I don't think pooches always land on their feet.

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 9:13 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa (Post 5817916)
omg, you're barking...the lot of you :D

MM, xx

This info could put to great use the excess cat population in Dubai in this present day !!!

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 9:16 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5817925)
That would be meowing.... I don't think pooches always land on their feet.


Pooches ''WOULD'' eat the toast !!!

nottmbantam Jan 21st 2008 9:21 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
In carrying out this experiment, I need to amke sure that conditions are consistent.....

Does it make a difference if its low calorie spread? eg Lurpak Light? Surely the number of / lack of calories will alter the velocity of cat hurtling towards concrete?

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 9:21 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5817935)
Pooches ''WOULD'' eat the toast !!!

That's cuz dog's don't have buddha nature...

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 9:23 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by nottmbantam (Post 5817955)
In carrying out this experiment, I need to amke sure that conditions are consistent.....

Does it make a difference if its low calorie spread? eg Lurpak Light? Surely the number of / lack of calories will alter the velocity of cat hurtling towards concrete?

For Lurpak lite you need to use three times the thickness of butter that you would normally spread if you were preparing tea & toast for a nightly viewing of Emmerdale...

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 9:25 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by nottmbantam (Post 5817955)
In carrying out this experiment, I need to amke sure that conditions are consistent.....

Does it make a difference if its low calorie spread? eg Lurpak Light? Surely the number of / lack of calories will alter the velocity of cat hurtling towards concrete?


Calorific value shall increase the potential energy level, I would think very carefully about using Lurpak Light !!!

Inselaffen Jan 21st 2008 9:55 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
Buttered Cat - isnt that what you get at Ravi's when you order Buttered chicken?

Madam Medusa Jan 21st 2008 10:00 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5818077)
Buttered Cat - isnt that what you get at Ravi's when you order Buttered chicken?

eeeuuuwww...what with that and MH's story about ravis...i will never ever eat there...

MM, xx

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 10:05 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa (Post 5818089)
eeeuuuwww...what with that and MH's story about ravis...i will never ever eat there...

MM, xx

Oh perhaps I won't go there even though it was sugested and I don't even know MH's story

Madam Medusa Jan 21st 2008 10:08 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Paidtoplease (Post 5818108)
Oh perhaps I won't go there even though it was sugested and I don't even know MH's story

it had something to do with a sneeze i seem to remember...

MM, xx

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 10:16 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Madam Medusa (Post 5818118)
it had something to do with a sneeze i seem to remember...

MM, xx

You have a problem with ingesting body fluids? :blink:

cazdee Jan 21st 2008 10:22 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
Cats always land on there feet so I think that! also they will probably find a way to eat the butter!

Inselaffen Jan 21st 2008 10:24 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 
surely you need to shave the cat first!
P2P get your clippers our before you butter up those kitties!

Rumble Tumble Jan 21st 2008 10:25 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5818173)
surely you need to shave the cat first!
P2P get your clippers our before you butter up those kitties!

Butter Cat is that an Indian Curry from Ravi's :D

shakh your bootie Jan 21st 2008 10:31 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5818173)
surely you need to shave the cat first!
P2P get your clippers our before you butter up those kitties!


Originally Posted by Rumble Tumble (Post 5818180)
Butter Cat is that an Indian Curry from Ravi's :D

One of you wants to shave the pussies, the other one wants to eat them.

I'm calling Feline Friends - they gonna come and clip your cat-hating ears.

Paidtoplease Jan 21st 2008 10:40 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5818203)
One of you wants to shave the pussies, the other one wants to eat them.

I'm calling Feline Friends - they gonna come and clip your cat-hating ears.


Its okay Shakh, kitties shall be keeping their clothes on, and are staying out of the oven !!!

I have no bread to make toast so the experiment shall remine on the back boiler for a wee while yet.

Inselaffen Jan 21st 2008 10:50 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Rumble Tumble (Post 5818180)
Butter Cat is that an Indian Curry from Ravi's :D

we've already done that joke :)
(badly)

Madam Medusa Jan 21st 2008 10:51 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5818147)
You have a problem with ingesting body fluids? :blink:

err...from someone i don't know, hell yeah...

MM, xx

Rumble Tumble Jan 21st 2008 10:51 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Inselaffen (Post 5818249)
we've already done that joke :)
(badly)

Nem mind eh, however you should try you would like it :p

Inselaffen Jan 21st 2008 10:53 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by Rumble Tumble (Post 5818254)
Nem mind eh, however you should try you would like it :p

have had Ravi's butter chicken a few times
and Karachi Darbar's :D

nottmbantam Jan 21st 2008 11:13 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by shakh your bootie (Post 5818203)
One of you wants to shave the pussies, the other one wants to eat them.

Oooh-errr. :o

Rumble Tumble Jan 21st 2008 11:31 am

Re: Buttered Cats - Discuss
 

Originally Posted by nottmbantam (Post 5818320)
Oooh-errr. :o


Ooooer missus indeedy lol :ohmy:


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