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British Dads Dubai FB group

British Dads Dubai FB group

Old Feb 20th 2019, 10:29 am
  #16  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by DXBtoDOH View Post
What's the minimum value for the wedding gifts or you slap them back in the face for being too cheap?

Or is it cash gifts only?
*spouse of scouse quietly puts away the hand crocheted teapot cover*
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Old Feb 20th 2019, 10:34 am
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by DXBtoDOH View Post
What's the minimum value for the wedding gifts or you slap them back in the face for being too cheap?

Or is it cash gifts only?
Dunno. I always gift roughly what you think you've cost for the day + a bit more.
We are undecided at the moment, cash money towards honeymoon or nothing at all.
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Old Feb 20th 2019, 10:45 am
  #18  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Dunno. I always gift roughly what you think you've cost for the day + a bit more.
We are undecided at the moment, cash money towards honeymoon or nothing at all.
On the invitation:
Your presence is the best present you could give us (try not to vomit when you're writing that)
However, as some of you have indicated that you wish to give us a gift (doesn't matter if that's a lie) a contribution towards our honeymoon would be most welcome
There will be a box/wishing well/naked woman with her hand out at the reception venue for cards and congratulations.
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Old Feb 20th 2019, 10:54 am
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Dunno. I always gift roughly what you think you've cost for the day + a bit more.
.
That's what bothers me most of all. I'm already spending money attending the wedding. I'm going to two weddings this spring, one up in Scotland and the other in the West Country. Train tickets, hotels, F&B outside the wedding itself, it all adds up. Seems pushy to expect expensive gifts on top of that. Even local ones don't come free of expenses. Cash gifts are even worse because while you can get away with a gift worth £25 and no one blinks, if you put in the same in an envelope as a cash gift you look miserly.

If I ever get married it's a strictly no gift policy (of course, those who absolutely must give a gift can go ahead but I want to make it abundantly clear gifts are not expected).
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Old Feb 20th 2019, 10:57 am
  #20  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by DXBtoDOH View Post
That's what bothers me most of all. I'm already spending money attending the wedding. I'm going to two weddings this spring, one up in Scotland and the other in the West Country. Train tickets, hotels, F&B outside the wedding itself, it all adds up. Seems pushy to expect expensive gifts on top of that. Even local ones don't come free of expenses. Cash gifts are even worse because while you can get away with a gift worth £25 and no one blinks, if you put in the same in an envelope as a cash gift you look miserly.

If I ever get married it's a strictly no gift policy (of course, those who absolutely must give a gift can go ahead but I want to make it abundantly clear gifts are not expected).
Man, you're so miserable it hurts - maybe you just don't go?

I had a no gift policy as I didn't want to fly a load of crap back home. My best mate showed up with an xbox. Solid.
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Old Feb 20th 2019, 11:05 am
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by DXBtoDOH View Post
That's what bothers me most of all. I'm already spending money attending the wedding. I'm going to two weddings this spring, one up in Scotland and the other in the West Country. Train tickets, hotels, F&B outside the wedding itself, it all adds up. Seems pushy to expect expensive gifts on top of that. Even local ones don't come free of expenses. Cash gifts are even worse because while you can get away with a gift worth £25 and no one blinks, if you put in the same in an envelope as a cash gift you look miserly.

If I ever get married it's a strictly no gift policy (of course, those who absolutely must give a gift can go ahead but I want to make it abundantly clear gifts are not expected).
You buy/give what you can comfortably afford. If you can only afford a small gift, or even nothing at all, just give a nice card - the family member or friend who's getting married would understand. And if they wouldn't understand, then why go to someone like that's wedding?
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Old Feb 20th 2019, 11:07 am
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post
Man, you're so miserable it hurts - maybe you just don't go?

I had a no gift policy as I didn't want to fly a load of crap back home. My best mate showed up with an xbox. Solid.
Maybe I'm just annoyed because at this point I've spent a fortune going to other people's weddings including overseas destination affairs and shelling out on expensive gifts (yes, I used to put in the effort to get something nice) and the favour is unlikely ever to be returned. It makes you slightly jaded about the whole thing, especially when quite a few end up divorced eventually (not that you will, Scamp, I'm confident it's till death for you).
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Old Feb 20th 2019, 11:42 am
  #23  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by DXBtoDOH View Post
Maybe I'm just annoyed because at this point I've spent a fortune going to other people's weddings including overseas destination affairs and shelling out on expensive gifts (yes, I used to put in the effort to get something nice) and the favour is unlikely ever to be returned. It makes you slightly jaded about the whole thing, especially when quite a few end up divorced eventually (not that you will, Scamp, I'm confident it's till death for you).
You’re still young - don’t write yourself off just yet. There’s still time to find your Elton.
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Old Feb 21st 2019, 5:44 am
  #24  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
On the invitation:
Your presence is the best present you could give us (try not to vomit when you're writing that)
However, as some of you have indicated that you wish to give us a gift (doesn't matter if that's a lie) a contribution towards our honeymoon would be most welcome
There will be a box/wishing well/naked woman with her hand out at the reception venue for cards and congratulations.
All of that guff if tragic but it's kind of what people expect. I think that's a nice compromise though.

Originally Posted by DXBtoDOH View Post
That's what bothers me most of all. I'm already spending money attending the wedding. I'm going to two weddings this spring, one up in Scotland and the other in the West Country. Train tickets, hotels, F&B outside the wedding itself, it all adds up. Seems pushy to expect expensive gifts on top of that. Even local ones don't come free of expenses. Cash gifts are even worse because while you can get away with a gift worth £25 and no one blinks, if you put in the same in an envelope as a cash gift you look miserly.

If I ever get married it's a strictly no gift policy (of course, those who absolutely must give a gift can go ahead but I want to make it abundantly clear gifts are not expected).
I agree with this, attending weddings is expensive. If the wedding is in the UK I will only go if it's a very close friend and then I'm unlikely to go overboard for a gift. I'll generally try and make a weekend of it or spread it out or something though, so we can enjoy it and it's part of a bigger trip. It's hard to justify but if you want to go, you'll go. Our wedding is about 3hrs from my Mummy's and 2hours from hers. It's middle of nowhere territory and if people don't want to come because of that or the expense then that's their prerogative isn't it?

Originally Posted by DXBtoDOH View Post
especially when quite a few end up divorced eventually (not that you will, Scamp, I'm confident it's till death for you).
Strike rate is terrifying. I came for a wedding here before I moved out, they've split. There's been several in fact.

You're too kind. Unless you mean she'll get sick of me by 2022 and bury me in the desert.
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Old Feb 21st 2019, 5:48 am
  #25  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Unless there's a different group, the one I lurk on is mostly about recommendations for places to drink and buying/selling items "before it goes on Dubizzle". Done OK out of it in that regard.

They do delete "councils are banning Easter, share this to respect are boys" type of posts, so I can why that will upset some.
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Old Feb 21st 2019, 5:53 am
  #26  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
All of that guff if tragic but it's kind of what people expect. I think that's a nice compromise though.

It worked well for us. We received cards from all our guests, most had money in them, some had vouchers for restaurants, lottery tickets etc. 7 years later I couldn't even tell you who gave us what.
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Old Feb 21st 2019, 5:58 am
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Strike rate is terrifying. I came for a wedding here before I moved out, they've split. There's been several in fact.
Well the "good" news is that the strike rate is falling... but of course, there's more than one way to look at this: (1) people are making better life decisions by delaying marrying (or having less marriages) and so the quality of marriages is improving, or (2) people are getting trapped in marriages due to financial (mostly housing related) pressures. Truth is probably somewhere in the middle but its a balance. Remember, divorce is a good thing as it allows for a path to a new brighter future for both people if the marriage doesn't work out - better than being trapped in a unhappy life-partner arrangement. Despite DXB's negativity, the risk of divorce is no reason at all to not marry. Marriage, kids and dogs - is what it's all about. (do it in that order because if get a dog too soon you'll realise you don't need the rest )
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Old Feb 21st 2019, 6:16 am
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

I rarely buy wedding gifts if I am flying in for it. Sorry if that sounds tight but if I have spent a chunk of change getting there and back, accom and a hire car then my presence is their gift. Even more so when you include the stag do.

The last five years has been pretty brutal with regards weddings. As much as I enjoy seeing my friends squirm under the attention and having a party, when you have several in a year which all require a foreign stag and flying somewhere for the wedding it starts to get pretty spendy, all while removing your ability to actually go on holidays that you actually want to go on.

Last week my very good mate announced that he's getting wed in the summer. Stag do in May, either Amsterdam or some party destination in the med then swiftly followed up by his wedding in the UK in July. Now I already have a wedding booked in for late April in Venice which I'm tagging on a road trip at the start. Thankfully his stag is going to be local (as his best men were both to sh!t to organise a decent one - I suggested Vegas over a year ago). Now my Mrs has just told me this morning that her brother is getting married in December and we are attending (first time I'll meet her family - yikes!), so this will require a trip to Namibia (which I'm excited about) but its a shame I'll probably be out of leave by then so it'll only be a short trip. So all in all that is at least 4 sets of international return flights and a decent chunk of my leave.

I'm still planning on Killimanjaro sometime over the summer and had planned to do Finland for the north lights but it looks like that's now off the cards.

Kind of thinking I should get married out of badness just to F**k with everyone else's plans!
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Old Feb 21st 2019, 6:30 am
  #29  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post
Well the "good" news is that the strike rate is falling... but of course, there's more than one way to look at this: (1) people are making better life decisions by delaying marrying (or having less marriages) and so the quality of marriages is improving, or (2) people are getting trapped in marriages due to financial (mostly housing related) pressures. Truth is probably somewhere in the middle but its a balance. Remember, divorce is a good thing as it allows for a path to a new brighter future for both people if the marriage doesn't work out - better than being trapped in a unhappy life-partner arrangement. Despite DXB's negativity, the risk of divorce is no reason at all to not marry. Marriage, kids and dogs - is what it's all about. (do it in that order because if get a dog too soon you'll realise you don't need the rest )
People aren't just staying together because they should as much anymore. How many people's parents or grandparents stayed together for the sake of it? I bet loads.

I know of a couple like that, it's shameful, they think they're doing right by the nippers but it's an awful plan. Very pleased my parents split, would have been atrocious if they didn't.

Dogs - meh. She wants two. I have never had pets, other than a budgie when I was younger and the odd goldfish. Budgie was mental but easily pleased. Dogs are ****ing effort.
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Old Feb 21st 2019, 7:05 am
  #30  
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Default Re: British Dads Dubai FB group

Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
I know of a couple like that, it's shameful, they think they're doing right by the nippers but it's an awful plan.
it's a terrible idea,
Originally Posted by Scamp View Post
Very pleased my parents split, would have been atrocious if they didn't.
Me too - my father would probably have killed my mum had she not got out in time.

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