scrubbedexpat141

That's a sad and sobering thought.

Millhouse

Yeh, it's taken me years to process it all and talk about it.

spouse of scouse

Sorry you and your Mum went through that, Millhouse. Glad to hear that you're doing ok now, and I hope your Mum is too. Living in fear is hardly living at all. I eventually left a violent husband, but it took me decades to work up enough courage/sense/self esteem to do it. No wonder I love my scouse man so much, he's so easy going and kind.

Irishbeekeeper

Well as one who has been bitten once as well, I can tell you one thing, any two people can get married....but its the rarely lucky few who end up with a pair in which both know the subtle, yet uncommon, art of not nit-picking at everything and learning that not every discussion needs to be 'won'.
Thats why I am of a strong opinion that people who spend atleast 2-3 years of courtship to figure out compatibility before taking the plunge. And even then luck has got a lot to do with it as well.

DXBtoDOH

I think marriage is a wonderful thing and I admire the concept greatly and know many happy couples who are the embodiment of all the great things a marriage can be, including my parents (47 years and counting). Such marriages are greater than the sum of the two partners. It is something to aim for and to take risks in the hopes that's how it will turn out.

So it's not marriage I'd objected to. It's weddings. Whatever happened to the simple weddings of old, tie the knot at a church (or some civic building) and have a light lunch afterwards, the old wedding breakfast? Now it's become a monster of an event. Stag dos, pre wedding dos, the wedding itself, people flying in from everywhere, the fancy dinners, the cost of clothing, catering, flowers and all that. It can be lovely but given the relatively high rate of failed marriages it does make you wonder. Even the stag dos are getting ridiculous now.

Before Millhouse accuses me of being miserable again, I'll also say I fully understand the temptations to throw a big and complicated wedding affair. People remember the good times they had at other weddings, they want to celebrate a special event for themselves and their families/friends, and it's a rare opportunity to bring everyone together in one place, and it calls to a innate human desire to celebrate these special occasions of life and culture. Most of us are middle class peons as well so this is the one opportunity we get to throw a big fancy party. It's just that perhaps the whole wedding culture has gone a bit overboard and excessive.

Millhouse

This is a truly amazing statement - and is why I love Mrs Millhouse 2 so much. She is amazing at this. I wish I was better.

scrubbedexpat141

You cutie.

I second that (bit about the statement, not that I love your mrs).

Fair points, I think some of the best weddings I've been to have been more expensive but it's not that bit that makes them better, it's the people and the atmosphere and the loooooove.

Pongo

IKnowNothing

Just to get back on topic - this looks more like an expatbloke forum at the moment, fb Dads in Dubai looks to me like a pissing exercise that also offers a discount card and generates business for the owner (fair play to him), however there are so many think people on there I'm surprised they're fathers at all.

UKCityGent

Talking of marriage divorce I think this has to win an award or something. A newlywed couple in Kuwait recently made history for having the shortest marriage in the country’s existence. They decided to go their separate ways just three minutes after getting married.. No wonder KWI has a 60% divorce rate (second after Jordan).

https://www.odditycentral.com/news/w...rying-him.html

nonthaburi

Got married in shorts and t-shirt for £1 at the local government office. Rode there and back on our motorbike. No one present but us. That was 14 years ago. No regrets about not having a big day. It's the shit that comes in the years afterwards that defines your lives together.

jam25mack

My Mrs is 'keen' to get married.....and I am too, although I'm also keen not to rush into anything (we've been together 7 months). That said, I've already informed her that I don't want to go the big over the top route. I really don't see the point in starting your future off in a worse financial situation than you were before. As such, small group of folk on a beach somewhere followed by an open bar in the nearest beach bar, Done!

In terms of divorce.... my parents divorced when I was 16. When they plucked up the courage to tell me I said 'thanks god'. For me, if they are happier apart then so be it.Why would anyone want their parents, people you care deeply about to be miserable? After my parents split they remained friends for the next 20 odd years until my old man passed away and I know they both still had great love and respect for oneanother. Sometimes though, people change. Hanging in there for hanging ins sake is BS and does more harm than good.