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Best email of 2009 so far

Best email of 2009 so far

Old Apr 3rd 2009, 8:51 am
  #1  
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Default Best email of 2009 so far

Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and kill me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

**** 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't ****ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS Send me 15 bucks and then **** off.
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Old Apr 3rd 2009, 8:58 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

I'll have a word with the leprechauns for you I'm sure they'll let you sleep in peace if i ask nicely
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Old Apr 3rd 2009, 9:01 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by FlirtyKnickers View Post
I'll have a word with the leprechauns for you I'm sure they'll let you sleep in peace if i ask nicely
Im more worried about my underwear turning carnivorous and consuming my genitals frankly....
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Old Apr 3rd 2009, 9:02 am
  #4  
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by FlirtyKnickers View Post
I'll have a word with the leprechauns for you I'm sure they'll let you sleep in peace if i ask nicely
by the way, how is that beautiful country of yours (North and South).....I would swap Dubai for Ireland any day.....
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Old Apr 3rd 2009, 9:04 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by BangleMan View Post
Im more worried about my underwear turning carnivorous and consuming my genitals frankly....
I'm not sure if the little people have anything to do with that. I'd
consider sleeping naked if i were you!
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Old Apr 3rd 2009, 9:06 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by BangleMan View Post
by the way, how is that beautiful country of yours (North and South).....I would swap Dubai for Ireland any day.....
It's very pretty today...the sun is shinning and it's about 7 degrees!

Must be Summer...
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Old Apr 3rd 2009, 10:17 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by BangleMan View Post
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and kill me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

**** 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't ****ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS Send me 15 bucks and then **** off.
So much anger...You need to get laid...
What's your email adress; lemme send you a chain male...
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Old Apr 3rd 2009, 10:29 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by BangleMan View Post
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and kill me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

**** 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't ****ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS Send me 15 bucks and then **** off.
so did you send him $15?
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Old Apr 4th 2009, 9:29 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by BangleMan View Post
Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion ****ing chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullsh*t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and kill me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

**** 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't ****ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly

PS Send me 15 bucks and then **** off.
But Billy Connolly forwarded that to me, and ten of his friends.........
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Old Apr 4th 2009, 9:46 am
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by Inselaffen View Post
so did you send him $15?
No...He just ****ed off...
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Old Apr 4th 2009, 12:05 pm
  #11  
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

Originally Posted by BangleMan View Post
Im more worried about my underwear turning carnivorous and consuming my genitals frankly....
You should change your underwear daily...you're obviously wearing them for more than one day as pre-carnivorous crud is beginning to build up..
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Old Apr 5th 2009, 9:24 pm
  #12  
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Default Re: Best email of 2009 so far

This was doing the rounds in 2005...
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