Anyone fancy a swim?

Old Oct 7th 2008, 2:46 pm
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Default Anyone fancy a swim?



17:53 07Oct08 RTRS

Dubai battles illegal sewage dumping off beach

Dubai Municipality said on Tuesday it was taking steps to end illegal sewage dumping off the coast of the Gulf Arab tourism hub that has already forced the closure of a stretch of beach.

Four or five tankers have been illegally dumping sewage every night, polluting seawater and endangering the health of swimmers and beach-goers in a country that attracts millions of sun-seeking tourists a year, it said on its website.

An open beach near the Dubai Offshore Sailing Club has already been closed down as a precaution.

Abdul-Majeed Sifaee, director of Dubai Municipality's drainage department, said 27 tankers had been caught dumping waste this month alone and been fined at least 50,000 dirhams each and the cost of cleaning up.

Tankers had also been illegally dumping sewage in Dubai's storm water network, which is designed to carry only rainwater to the sea, he said.

"This has resulted in polluting part of the emirate's coast line," he said.

"Our staff are now keeping a close watch on those law-breakers who empty the tankers between midnight and 5 a.m. daily so as to avoid detection. In the wake of the increased activity recently, we have requested the help of Dubai Police."
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Old Oct 7th 2008, 6:03 pm
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Default Re: Anyone fancy a swim?

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post


17:53 07Oct08 RTRS

Dubai battles illegal sewage dumping off beach

Dubai Municipality said on Tuesday it was taking steps to end illegal sewage dumping off the coast of the Gulf Arab tourism hub that has already forced the closure of a stretch of beach.

Four or five tankers have been illegally dumping sewage every night, polluting seawater and endangering the health of swimmers and beach-goers in a country that attracts millions of sun-seeking tourists a year, it said on its website.

An open beach near the Dubai Offshore Sailing Club has already been closed down as a precaution.

Abdul-Majeed Sifaee, director of Dubai Municipality's drainage department, said 27 tankers had been caught dumping waste this month alone and been fined at least 50,000 dirhams each and the cost of cleaning up.

Tankers had also been illegally dumping sewage in Dubai's storm water network, which is designed to carry only rainwater to the sea, he said.

"This has resulted in polluting part of the emirate's coast line," he said.

"Our staff are now keeping a close watch on those law-breakers who empty the tankers between midnight and 5 a.m. daily so as to avoid detection. In the wake of the increased activity recently, we have requested the help of Dubai Police."
If you went for a swim... you would only be going through the motions?
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Old Oct 7th 2008, 6:51 pm
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Default Re: Anyone fancy a swim?

Originally Posted by MacScot View Post
If you went for a swim... you would only be going through the motions?
You must remember to quote your sources in your posts............

Allow me:

"This joke is copyright (C) Jimmy Tarbuck 1968"
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Old Oct 7th 2008, 7:07 pm
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Default Re: Anyone fancy a swim?

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
You must remember to quote your sources in your posts............

Allow me:

"This joke is copyright (C) Jimmy Tarbuck 1968"
Naw...it's original. I actually lived in a caravan in a sewage treatment works in the early 70s, where I ran an applied hydrobiological research station near Uttoxeter !! These are old jokes from last century handed down by the sewage operatives ! Long before Tarbie's time.
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Old Oct 7th 2008, 7:10 pm
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Default Re: Anyone fancy a swim?

Originally Posted by MacScot View Post
Naw...it's original. I actually lived in a caravan in a sewage treatment works in the early 70s, where I ran an applied hydrobiological research station near Uttoxeter !! These are old jokes from last century handed down by the sewage operatives ! Long before Tarbie's time.
You've just got me thinking.............

What actually is the oldest joke?
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Old Oct 7th 2008, 7:13 pm
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Default Re: Anyone fancy a swim?

Originally Posted by The Dean View Post
You've just got me thinking.............

What actually is the oldest joke?
You did that one before and said it was 1900 BC:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=552368

I replied to that one with:

Can't beat 1900 BC but in Scotland, the oldest "recorded" joke is from the 9th century..according to "The Times" newspaper.

The joke concerns a conversation between the priest Johannes Scottus — John the Scot — and Charles the Bald, the King of France.

The pair were sitting at a banqueting table quaffing goblets of wine. Offended by the priest’s loutish, drunken behaviour, the monarch asked rhetorically: “What separates a Sot [drunk] from a Scot?” Quick as a flash, the priest replied: “Only a table”, implying that the king was more drunk than him.

The joke, which was passed down through the centuries, was recorded in Latin by the English historian William of Malmesbury in 1143.
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Old Oct 7th 2008, 7:18 pm
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Default Re: Anyone fancy a swim?

Originally Posted by MacScot View Post
You did that one before and said it was 1900 BC:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=552368

I replied to that one with:

Can't beat 1900 BC but in Scotland, the oldest "recorded" joke is from the 9th century..according to "The Times" newspaper.

The joke concerns a conversation between the priest Johannes Scottus — John the Scot — and Charles the Bald, the King of France.

The pair were sitting at a banqueting table quaffing goblets of wine. Offended by the priest’s loutish, drunken behaviour, the monarch asked rhetorically: “What separates a Sot [drunk] from a Scot?” Quick as a flash, the priest replied: “Only a table”, implying that the king was more drunk than him.

The joke, which was passed down through the centuries, was recorded in Latin by the English historian William of Malmesbury in 1143.
Blimey - well remembered.............

I'd forgotten that - and it was MY thread...........

Still you can't beat the old classic:

"My wife's gone to the West Indies"
"Barbados?"
"Yes.........."
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