another moral question
Jan 29th 2009, 11:08 am
#46
hmmmm...nice
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Re: another moral question
and is that such a bad thing...that's the question
Jan 29th 2009, 11:09 am
#47
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Jan 29th 2009, 11:16 am
#49
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Jan 29th 2009, 11:19 am
#50
hmmmm...nice
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Re: another moral question
and what's worse...a one night stand (as in sex) with a 'stranger' or a close longlasting friendship but no sex...
Jan 29th 2009, 11:20 am
#51
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Re: another moral question
Probably difficult to change after all those years how you live your life i would think? I dont just mean with your friend but generally...
Jan 29th 2009, 11:22 am
#52
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Re: another moral question
OK here is the story, and by the way it is no one on this forum and it aint me cos i is a single gal!
A very good friend of mine got married last May to a much older guy, 21 years older.
They have loads in common. She thought everything hunky dory!
She thought they had the same morals,ethics, values etc......
SHe has discovered, wont go into the details of how, but he has been having some kind or friendship/relationship with another woman.
He has been meeting with her for 3 months, in secret!
When she found out she confronted her hubbie, he adamantly denied it, but in the end he admitted to it. My friend hates liars and her hubby knows this is her pet hate, along with disloyalty.
He says he hasn't been intimate with her.
My friend has spoken to the other woman, and she is horrified to learn he is married. She had no idea and the hubby admitted he didn't tell this woman he was married. um suspect, non.
Now, my friend wants a divorce, says she can not forgive him.
She says that even by meeting with this woman for 3 months in secret, even if there has been no intimacy is disloyal and she would never trust him again.
She has asked hubbie why? He says he doesn't know, said it was crazy behaviour on his part.
I tend to agree, but am not giving my opinion even tho she is wanting my agreement with her.
Is she being over sensitive, too emotional at this time, what do you girls
and boys think
Why is life so @ucking complicated.
A very good friend of mine got married last May to a much older guy, 21 years older.
They have loads in common. She thought everything hunky dory!
She thought they had the same morals,ethics, values etc......
SHe has discovered, wont go into the details of how, but he has been having some kind or friendship/relationship with another woman.
He has been meeting with her for 3 months, in secret!
When she found out she confronted her hubbie, he adamantly denied it, but in the end he admitted to it. My friend hates liars and her hubby knows this is her pet hate, along with disloyalty.
He says he hasn't been intimate with her.
My friend has spoken to the other woman, and she is horrified to learn he is married. She had no idea and the hubby admitted he didn't tell this woman he was married. um suspect, non.
Now, my friend wants a divorce, says she can not forgive him.
She says that even by meeting with this woman for 3 months in secret, even if there has been no intimacy is disloyal and she would never trust him again.
She has asked hubbie why? He says he doesn't know, said it was crazy behaviour on his part.
I tend to agree, but am not giving my opinion even tho she is wanting my agreement with her.
Is she being over sensitive, too emotional at this time, what do you girls
and boys think
Why is life so @ucking complicated.
He may have unknown reasons beyond the obvious...he could of course be lying about not being intimate with the other woman too. It's hard to know and but easy to judge.
I think a one month separation before any decision to divorce will help...don't be too quick to throw away a relationship until all avenues of repair have been exhausted.
N.
Jan 29th 2009, 11:30 am
#53
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Re: another moral question
Depends on the emotional attachment i suppose, oh i dunno know i am not good at this stuff, thats why i am not married.....
Jan 29th 2009, 11:32 am
#54
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Re: another moral question
He prob said to him self, i am to old to be a playboy, let me get myself a wife. Then after 6 months said to himself, Have I still got it???/
Jan 29th 2009, 11:34 am
#55
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Re: another moral question
close long lasting relationship with no sex that is hidden is probably worse IMO than a one night stand that has probably been fuelled by too much alcohol and too little judgement . . . . The former suggests long term lying/deceit the latter a lack of common sense . .
Just my two halala's worth
N
Just my two halala's worth
N
Jan 29th 2009, 11:43 am
#56
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Re: another moral question
Jan 29th 2009, 12:04 pm
#57
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Re: another moral question
57 years old man
21 years difference between him and his new wife
ok
he lived his life as a playboy free to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants.. if he consumed all this time of his life as a play boy it is unlikly for him to correct him self.
it is hard for an old man to change habits while it is easier to change a young one.
there are many things that she should consider..
can she live alone without him (for a start is she working?)
i know she is a new bride but ... is there a chance that she is pragnet?
what will happen if he discovered that she cheated on him how was he gona behave or how she wish that he have behaved?
the details of how he met this other girl who is in late 20's and how did he develop his relationship with her are very important .. because based on these details you can judge did this relationship happend without planning or was he going after her..
you can't judge or give opinion without alot of missing parts of the whole picture.
but generally speaking ..
if both are religious ... she shouldn't continue with him .. but it will be nice of her if she gave him a second chance
if both are Atheist ..she shouldn't complain much ... and she should expect that this may hapen in the future again .. and again .. when it comes to sex . there is no such thing called love that will stop a man from going after it.
why do men do that and cheat on their wifes?
the wish to try to be with someone else
too many problems with the first wife ..even if they were small but continous
prettier girls
temptations
getting too close from female friends in emotional situations.
so many other reasons
or just like the case of our 57 years old ... getting used to be with many and different females .. every while and then......
I am so far assuming that he didn't get married until now because of this ..which is not true for sure.
21 years difference between him and his new wife
ok
he lived his life as a playboy free to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants.. if he consumed all this time of his life as a play boy it is unlikly for him to correct him self.
it is hard for an old man to change habits while it is easier to change a young one.
there are many things that she should consider..
can she live alone without him (for a start is she working?)
i know she is a new bride but ... is there a chance that she is pragnet?
what will happen if he discovered that she cheated on him how was he gona behave or how she wish that he have behaved?
the details of how he met this other girl who is in late 20's and how did he develop his relationship with her are very important .. because based on these details you can judge did this relationship happend without planning or was he going after her..
you can't judge or give opinion without alot of missing parts of the whole picture.
but generally speaking ..
if both are religious ... she shouldn't continue with him .. but it will be nice of her if she gave him a second chance
if both are Atheist ..she shouldn't complain much ... and she should expect that this may hapen in the future again .. and again .. when it comes to sex . there is no such thing called love that will stop a man from going after it.
why do men do that and cheat on their wifes?
the wish to try to be with someone else
too many problems with the first wife ..even if they were small but continous
prettier girls
temptations
getting too close from female friends in emotional situations.
so many other reasons
or just like the case of our 57 years old ... getting used to be with many and different females .. every while and then......
I am so far assuming that he didn't get married until now because of this ..which is not true for sure.
Jan 29th 2009, 12:15 pm
#58
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Re: another moral question
57 years old man
21 years difference between him and his new wife
ok
he lived his life as a playboy free to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants.. if he consumed all this time of his life as a play boy it is unlikly for him to correct him self.
it is hard for an old man to change habits while it is easier to change a young one.
there are many things that she should consider..
can she live alone without him (for a start is she working?)
i know she is a new bride but ... is there a chance that she is pragnet?
what will happen if he discovered that she cheated on him how was he gona behave or how she wish that he have behaved?
the details of how he met this other girl who is in late 20's and how did he develop his relationship with her are very important .. because based on these details you can judge did this relationship happend without planning or was he going after her..
you can't judge or give opinion without alot of missing parts of the whole picture.
but generally speaking ..
if both are religious ... she shouldn't continue with him .. but it will be nice of her if she gave him a second chance
if both are Atheist ..she shouldn't complain much ... and she should expect that this may hapen in the future again .. and again .. when it comes to sex . there is no such thing called love that will stop a man from going after it.
why do men do that and cheat on their wifes?
the wish to try to be with someone else
too many problems with the first wife ..even if they were small but continous
prettier girls
temptations
getting too close from female friends in emotional situations.
so many other reasons
or just like the case of our 57 years old ... getting used to be with many and different females .. every while and then......
I am so far assuming that he didn't get married until now because of this ..which is not true for sure.
21 years difference between him and his new wife
ok
he lived his life as a playboy free to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants.. if he consumed all this time of his life as a play boy it is unlikly for him to correct him self.
it is hard for an old man to change habits while it is easier to change a young one.
there are many things that she should consider..
can she live alone without him (for a start is she working?)
i know she is a new bride but ... is there a chance that she is pragnet?
what will happen if he discovered that she cheated on him how was he gona behave or how she wish that he have behaved?
the details of how he met this other girl who is in late 20's and how did he develop his relationship with her are very important .. because based on these details you can judge did this relationship happend without planning or was he going after her..
you can't judge or give opinion without alot of missing parts of the whole picture.
but generally speaking ..
if both are religious ... she shouldn't continue with him .. but it will be nice of her if she gave him a second chance
if both are Atheist ..she shouldn't complain much ... and she should expect that this may hapen in the future again .. and again .. when it comes to sex . there is no such thing called love that will stop a man from going after it.
why do men do that and cheat on their wifes?
the wish to try to be with someone else
too many problems with the first wife ..even if they were small but continous
prettier girls
temptations
getting too close from female friends in emotional situations.
so many other reasons
or just like the case of our 57 years old ... getting used to be with many and different females .. every while and then......
I am so far assuming that he didn't get married until now because of this ..which is not true for sure.
Thanks BM good post
Jan 29th 2009, 12:21 pm
#60
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Posts: 11,370
Re: another moral question
She has tried Spugsy, he has no answer.
How would you react if the lovely Mrs Spugsy did that, or you pet, how would you feel/react if mrs S was secretly meeting with a a guy, who thought she was a single gal
I am shite at relationships and i am a wild Irish woman, i would go and get legless and then kill him, lol
How would you react if the lovely Mrs Spugsy did that, or you pet, how would you feel/react if mrs S was secretly meeting with a a guy, who thought she was a single gal
I am shite at relationships and i am a wild Irish woman, i would go and get legless and then kill him, lol
I'd need to find out before making any decisions.
I would at least try though.