The advantages of being male and 50+
Oct 21st 2008, 6:54 pm
#1
It's what the eye see's..
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 839
The advantages of being male and 50+
And you know what those advantages are?
1. The one and only daughter finally and I mean finally married, my fatherly problems are solved. Now she's your problem "Son in Law". So get used to the mood swings of a pregnant female. Me pity you? No way boy...
2. And then three Big Mac's standing in front of me...
3. And a bottle of booze...
4. And a box of good cigars...
5. All the movies I've ever wanted to watch without being asked to through the trash out, or god knows what else...
And the best thing? (Never thought I'd say it but...)
6. The entire f**king bed all to myself. No poking in the side at unholy hours in the mornings (god should have never created that part of the day for men anyhow) just to here a female voice whispering "Sweetie it's cold and I want coffee. Come on..."
7. So I'll adapt Madonna's early days morning style, okay, adapt it to the male version "Sweetie I'm taking a long hot shower now, you'll find your way out wont you?"
8. And soon? I'll walk into my bedroom thinking "Jeez... There's a bed in here somewhere, now where is it? Just dive, if I land softly I've found it...
9. But the best thing? I look in my bathroom... Shaving kit where it belongs... Aftershave where it belongs... Toothbrush where it belongs. Smack in front of me. Those poor little things got used to being pushed aside to make space for an ever growing female collection of perfumes, all kind of facial paints, lipsticks and god knows what else we men never understood what it was for...
10. Someone once wrote "You're male and 50? Life starts all over again..."
11. So what the heck, I'm male, 51 and single. I have my own tiny little company, okay it won't make me the Dutch version of Bill Gates, but it allows me to crawl out of bed between 10 and 11 in the mornings. Only two computers, of which one in a hyper sexy female voice reminds me "Don't switch me on big boy... Go get laid!" And if the lady in question can't find my bed? Well I'll just smile and whisper "See the searching for my bed as foreplay sweetie, I'm a male and not 100, not 200 but 1000% proud of it.
Dutchie
1. The one and only daughter finally and I mean finally married, my fatherly problems are solved. Now she's your problem "Son in Law". So get used to the mood swings of a pregnant female. Me pity you? No way boy...
2. And then three Big Mac's standing in front of me...
3. And a bottle of booze...
4. And a box of good cigars...
5. All the movies I've ever wanted to watch without being asked to through the trash out, or god knows what else...
And the best thing? (Never thought I'd say it but...)
6. The entire f**king bed all to myself. No poking in the side at unholy hours in the mornings (god should have never created that part of the day for men anyhow) just to here a female voice whispering "Sweetie it's cold and I want coffee. Come on..."
7. So I'll adapt Madonna's early days morning style, okay, adapt it to the male version "Sweetie I'm taking a long hot shower now, you'll find your way out wont you?"
8. And soon? I'll walk into my bedroom thinking "Jeez... There's a bed in here somewhere, now where is it? Just dive, if I land softly I've found it...
9. But the best thing? I look in my bathroom... Shaving kit where it belongs... Aftershave where it belongs... Toothbrush where it belongs. Smack in front of me. Those poor little things got used to being pushed aside to make space for an ever growing female collection of perfumes, all kind of facial paints, lipsticks and god knows what else we men never understood what it was for...
10. Someone once wrote "You're male and 50? Life starts all over again..."
11. So what the heck, I'm male, 51 and single. I have my own tiny little company, okay it won't make me the Dutch version of Bill Gates, but it allows me to crawl out of bed between 10 and 11 in the mornings. Only two computers, of which one in a hyper sexy female voice reminds me "Don't switch me on big boy... Go get laid!" And if the lady in question can't find my bed? Well I'll just smile and whisper "See the searching for my bed as foreplay sweetie, I'm a male and not 100, not 200 but 1000% proud of it.
Dutchie
Oct 21st 2008, 6:57 pm
#2
hmmmm...nice
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 27,923
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
and after reading this I am sure you will spend many more nights on your own...enjoy
Oct 21st 2008, 7:02 pm
#3
It's what the eye see's..
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 839
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
Hahahaha.... Hmmm... Wondered if you'd reply to this one. For the coming weeks? I agree, want to come home, lock my door and sip my booze MH. I'm no monk, and you female creatures are the best sport god ever created. So now I'm being a modern guy, what can you possibly have against that I wonder.
Oct 21st 2008, 7:07 pm
#4
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 13,553
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
Hahahaha.... Hmmm... Wondered if you'd reply to this one. For the coming weeks? I agree, want to come home, lock my door and sip my booze MH. I'm no monk, and you female creatures are the best sport god ever created. So now I'm being a modern guy, what can you possibly have against that I wonder.
In that case - as MH suggests - you are in for a long lonely period of growing old non-gracefully........... get back to that bar..............
Oct 21st 2008, 7:10 pm
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,434
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
Life goes downhill when you don't have an organ to play with when you're nervous...
Oct 21st 2008, 7:15 pm
#6
It's what the eye see's..
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 839
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
I see the art of seduction as a sport Dean, so do woman I assume. You spend the next 20 to 25 years working your butt off to reserve money for clothes, medical bills, school bills, and yes, university bills at the end as well. Once you've done that, come back and we'll share a beer ok?
Oct 21st 2008, 7:18 pm
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
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Posts: 13,553
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
I see the art of seduction as a sport Dean, so do woman I assume. You spend the next 20 to 25 years working your butt off to reserve money for clothes, medical bills, school bills, and yes, university bills at the end as well. Once you've done that, come back and we'll share a beer ok?
Oct 21st 2008, 7:20 pm
#8
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 23,434
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
Grumpy Old Men 3 - The Dubai Dish Dash...
Oct 21st 2008, 10:24 pm
#11
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Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Moved to Mirdif
Posts: 319
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
9. But the best thing? I look in my bathroom... Shaving kit where it belongs... Aftershave where it belongs... Toothbrush where it belongs. Smack in front of me. Those poor little things got used to being pushed aside to make space for an ever growing female collection of perfumes, all kind of facial paints, lipsticks and god knows what else we men never understood what it was for...
Oct 21st 2008, 11:02 pm
#13
Account Closed
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 820
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
You forgot No.12 on your list...likely to suffer a heart attack at any moment with nobody to look after you
Oct 22nd 2008, 4:22 am
#14
Bored liberal
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Over there ----->
Posts: 13,713
Re: The advantages of being male and 50+
Dutchie, that was a really long explanation, as to why no woman will sleep with you. We all knew that anyway.
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