Roadking

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting comment ator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford
crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself'.

shiva

v good but WTF do 6,7, 9 and 11 have to do with sport

Roadking

Sex is a sport!

al dente

Wasn't there one about Ian Botham 'never usually struggling to get his leg over' the stumps?

TGFKASE

"The batsmans Holding, the bowlers Willie"... Can't remember who said it...

Madam Medusa

hahahaha, i love them...

MM, xx

TGFKASE

Not exactly a double-entendre...

Dunno if its an urban legend, but was told that an Aussie Channel 9 presenter (along the lines of Dickie Davis) opened a Saturday evening sports show with the lines..

"By golly, by jeez, by jingoes, we've got sports coming out of our arseholes. And, for all you croquet fans out there, there's fck all on the menu for you tonight!"

Spugsy

reminds me of all of those family fortunes ones, 'what do you call a bird with a long neck?' - 'naomi campbell'

argh ha ha hargh!

hawkhead

You've missed out the most famous one:
"The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willy."

TGFKASE

Beat you to it.. Post #5

Roadking

Oh yeah, wonder why no-one else mentioned that.

hawkhead

Ooops, sorry TGFKA...didn't see your reply for some reason.

Spugsy

in fact here they are:

Name an item of clothing people wear two of at the same time
A bra

Name a type of big cat
Persian

Name something you might take from a hotel as a souvenir
The lamps

Name something you eat with fish
A plate

Name an animal that lives wild in Britain
A lion

Not including cutlery, name a type of fork
Banana

Name something a blind person might use
A sword

Name a song with moon in the title
Blue Suede Moon

Name a bird with a long neck
Naomi Campbell

Name an occupation where you need a torch
A burglar

Name a famous brother and sister
Bonnie and Clyde

Name a dangerous race
The Arabs

Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers
A horse

Name something that floats in the bath
Water

Name something you wear on the beach
A deckchair

Name something red
A cardigan

Name a famous cowboy
Buck Rogers

Name a famous royal
Mail

Name a number you have to memorise
7

Name something you do before going to bed
Sleep

Name something you put on walls
Roofs

Name something in the garden that's green
A shed

Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine
A bicycle with wings

Name something you might be allergic to
Skiing

Name a famous bridge
Bridge over troubled waters

Name something a cat does
Goes to the toilet

Name something you do in the bathroom
Decorate

Name an animal you might see at the zoo
A dog

Name something associated with the police
Pigs

Name a sign of the zodiac
April

Name something slippery
A conman

Name a kind of ache
Fillet o' Fish

Name a food that can be brown or white
Potato

Name a jacket potato topping
Jam

Name a famous Scotsman
Jock

Name another famous Scotsman
Vinnie Jones

Name something with a hole in it
A window

Name a non-living object with legs
A plant

Name a domestic animal
Leopard

Name a part of the body beginning with 'N'
Knee

Name a way of cooking fish
Cod

Name something you open other than a door
Your bowels

Name a famous soap opera
Romeo and Juliet

Name one of Harry Enfield's characters
Sooty

Name something with a red light
A Dalek

Name a bird that can also be a man's name
Chicken

Name one of the Spice Girls
The one with the long hair

Name something a vampire might be afraid of
Bob Monkhouse

Name a famous Parisian landmark
Hawaii

MAV_DXB

Some of those had me laughing out loud... cheers

simple2204

Cheers for these, glad my phone was on mute for the conference call whilst i was reading though