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Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Old Mar 11th 2009, 6:16 pm
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Default Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Hi folks

I spent 2 years researching Australia and was almost at the end of the visa apllication when family circumstances meant I had to drop it. My OH told me he was relieved, that he hadn't really wanted to go at all.
He is quite right when he says it would be financial madness. Although, as a nurse, I would be fine for work his job doesn't transfer and he would have to pick up unskilled work or spend at least 2 years retraining. i would also have to take a step back in my career.
Despite all this I can't stop thinking about going. I feel that even if we ended up coming back at least we would have had the experience. He is adamant that it would leave us broke (it would!)and therefore is a risk not worth taking.
I think I'm mad for still thinking about Australia ....but I can't help it
As people who have emigrated then returned what are your thoughts?

Last edited by Kapri; Mar 11th 2009 at 6:18 pm.
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Old Mar 11th 2009, 7:53 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by Kapri
Hi folks

I spent 2 years researching Australia and was almost at the end of the visa apllication when family circumstances meant I had to drop it. My OH told me he was relieved, that he hadn't really wanted to go at all.
He is quite right when he says it would be financial madness. Although, as a nurse, I would be fine for work his job doesn't transfer and he would have to pick up unskilled work or spend at least 2 years retraining. i would also have to take a step back in my career.
Despite all this I can't stop thinking about going. I feel that even if we ended up coming back at least we would have had the experience. He is adamant that it would leave us broke (it would!)and therefore is a risk not worth taking.
I think I'm mad for still thinking about Australia ....but I can't help it
As people who have emigrated then returned what are your thoughts?
From experience my thoughts are stay where you are...my thoughts only remember.
In my opinion all that OZ has to offer is more sunshine, the rest is just the same (or worse in our case)..
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Old Mar 11th 2009, 8:03 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
From experience my thoughts are stay where you are...my thoughts only remember.
In my opinion all that OZ has to offer is more sunshine, the rest is just the same (or worse in our case)..
Thanks NS
The logical side of me definitely knows that but another side of me thinks sod it, you only live once
Do you feel you gained anything from your experience and was it worth it?
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Old Mar 11th 2009, 9:06 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Nah, stay where you are and go to Aus for holidays. If your Dh doesnt want to go then it really isnt worth it and in this financial melee it would be silly if you are secure where you are. We all have a need for adventure but that doesnt have to be uprooting a family and putting yourself into penury for the rest of your days - make the best of what you have I reckon.
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Old Mar 11th 2009, 10:09 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by Kapri
Thanks NS
The logical side of me definitely knows that but another side of me thinks sod it, you only live once
Do you feel you gained anything from your experience and was it worth it?
I don't feel we gained anything at all from living in OZ, except learning the fact that the UK is a better place for us.

So in that respect we are definately better people for it, appreciating what we have instead of moaning and being too greedy.
You live and learn, we certainly did, a very expensive mistake though.
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Old Mar 12th 2009, 10:26 am
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

No, absolutely NO regrets about having emigrated.

Maybe, the question you should also have asked..........

Do you regret having returned?

You don't even want to think where my head is these days, but the fact that I am on here, and that you are on here, probably says alot.

You've got stacks of time, so don't beat yourself up about it now. Remember it took me 18 years to get there.

P
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Old Mar 12th 2009, 12:10 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by ValeSpark
No, absolutely NO regrets about having emigrated.

Maybe, the question you should also have asked..........

Do you regret having returned?

You don't even want to think where my head is these days, but the fact that I am on here, and that you are on here, probably says alot.

You've got stacks of time, so don't beat yourself up about it now. Remember it took me 18 years to get there.

P
OMG P!
You're not regretting coming back are you?
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Old Mar 12th 2009, 1:02 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by Kapri
Hi folks

I spent 2 years researching Australia and was almost at the end of the visa apllication when family circumstances meant I had to drop it. My OH told me he was relieved, that he hadn't really wanted to go at all.
He is quite right when he says it would be financial madness. Although, as a nurse, I would be fine for work his job doesn't transfer and he would have to pick up unskilled work or spend at least 2 years retraining. i would also have to take a step back in my career.
Despite all this I can't stop thinking about going. I feel that even if we ended up coming back at least we would have had the experience. He is adamant that it would leave us broke (it would!)and therefore is a risk not worth taking.
I think I'm mad for still thinking about Australia ....but I can't help it
As people who have emigrated then returned what are your thoughts?
I'm still in Aus, and I think that, on balance, I do regret coming here in the first place. It wasn't really my choice (OH is Aussie), which perhaps makes me feel less happy with the decision, because I don't feel it was 100% mine!

Fear of regretting going back to the UK will probably keep me in Aus forever. Once you've made one really big decision that you've regretted, it makes you reluctant to make another big decision like it again. Once bitten, twice shy etc.
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Old Mar 12th 2009, 2:42 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by cultured
I'm still in Aus, and I think that, on balance, I do regret coming here in the first place. It wasn't really my choice (OH is Aussie), which perhaps makes me feel less happy with the decision, because I don't feel it was 100% mine!

Fear of regretting going back to the UK will probably keep me in Aus forever. Once you've made one really big decision that you've regretted, it makes you reluctant to make another big decision like it again. Once bitten, twice shy etc.
Sorry to hear that. I do sometimes wonder if it's impossible to be totally content when you have lived in different places. There will always be things you like about one place and then different things about another place.
Knowing that you won't get the perfect mix anywhere can be hard to live with.
I feel like that just having lived in different places in the U.K and travelling a lot

Last edited by Kapri; Mar 12th 2009 at 2:43 pm. Reason: typo
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Old Mar 12th 2009, 2:46 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

One thing is certain looking at all the posts. This is tough whichever way you lean!
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Old Mar 12th 2009, 9:40 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by quoll
Nah, stay where you are and go to Aus for holidays. If your Dh doesnt want to go then it really isnt worth it and in this financial melee it would be silly if you are secure where you are. We all have a need for adventure but that doesnt have to be uprooting a family and putting yourself into penury for the rest of your days - make the best of what you have I reckon.
I agree, I didnt really want to go and it nearly ruined us, we are home now and happy

I always wanted to go on a holiday and think I would have been happier with that. so if i were you save up and go on a nice holiday instead.
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Old Mar 12th 2009, 11:54 pm
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by quoll
Nah, stay where you are and go to Aus for holidays. If your Dh doesnt want to go then it really isnt worth it and in this financial melee it would be silly if you are secure where you are. We all have a need for adventure but that doesnt have to be uprooting a family and putting yourself into penury for the rest of your days - make the best of what you have I reckon.
Originally Posted by Baby75
I agree, I didnt really want to go and it nearly ruined us, we are home now and happy

I always wanted to go on a holiday and think I would have been happier with that. so if i were you save up and go on a nice holiday instead.
that would definitely be the sensible thing to do.......

...but I've already had a holiday there

One thing is sure - we won't be going anywhere until the recession(s) over!
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Old Mar 13th 2009, 12:14 am
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by Kapri
that would definitely be the sensible thing to do.......

...but I've already had a holiday there

One thing is sure - we won't be going anywhere until the recession(s) over!
Personally i dont think having a holiday somewhere gives you any idea what a place is like to live in permenantly....

When you move abroad usually, you are in a honeymoon period for the first few mths anyway. And then reality starts to kick in

Some people cope and others dont..........And i truly think that comes down to personality and bank balance in the end...........

Moving abroad for us was financial suicide and didn't do our health to good either.......So twas big mistake.....But what we did get out of it was knowing that we belong in the Uk and to appreciate it in full and that has made us very happy to be back.

So in some ways it wasn't such a big mistake after all

Last edited by sans; Mar 13th 2009 at 12:25 am.
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Old Mar 13th 2009, 1:12 am
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by cultured
I'm still in Aus, and I think that, on balance, I do regret coming here in the first place. It wasn't really my choice (OH is Aussie), which perhaps makes me feel less happy with the decision, because I don't feel it was 100% mine!

Fear of regretting going back to the UK will probably keep me in Aus forever. Once you've made one really big decision that you've regretted, it makes you reluctant to make another big decision like it again. Once bitten, twice shy etc.
Cultured, I tried to give you karma but couldnt! In the same situation as you, I think people do tend to underestimate the particular difficulties of mixed marriages and the passage of the point of no return when you arent really looking!
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Old Mar 13th 2009, 4:15 am
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Default Re: Those who have returned ...do you regret having emigrated in the first place?

Originally Posted by Kapri
Hi folks

I spent 2 years researching Australia and was almost at the end of the visa apllication when family circumstances meant I had to drop it. My OH told me he was relieved, that he hadn't really wanted to go at all.
He is quite right when he says it would be financial madness. Although, as a nurse, I would be fine for work his job doesn't transfer and he would have to pick up unskilled work or spend at least 2 years retraining. i would also have to take a step back in my career.
Despite all this I can't stop thinking about going. I feel that even if we ended up coming back at least we would have had the experience. He is adamant that it would leave us broke (it would!)and therefore is a risk not worth taking.
I think I'm mad for still thinking about Australia ....but I can't help it
As people who have emigrated then returned what are your thoughts?

Hi,
stay put, moving here was my only aim in life for 3 years (other half is a nurse too) - been here since 1 Dec 2008 & despite the short time know its not for our family, it has been such a huge mistake with big consequences that are proving difficult to sort out now. Thankfully we undertook a home exchange to come here as despite me living in other places before had not done so with kids, so at least we will have our home & possessions to return to. Australia does not seem to be the land of opportunity & dreams I thought it would be (& my other half lived here for a yr 3 yrs ago so I had an idea what it was like) The houses are nice and thats what I will be upset at leaving here for, but I was not aware how violent it is here or how disorganized the systems are ie medicare, benefits/ tax etc. The weather is also boiling hot - sitting down with sweat running everywhere is not fun - that is with the air- conditioning on- & then the next day it is really cold - well 12oC after the previous day of 43oC is difficult, you can do nothing in the heat but sit and wait for it to get cooler (I was so looking forward to the warm weather)

I know I sound like I am moaning but it was my dream & took so long to plan & cost so much to come here. If you really want to experience living here I would come in the australian summer months so you get a feel for the hot weather & look at undertaking a home exchange - our is 6 months - or people here look for a lot of housesitters both of which you will find on the net.

Only 132 days till we return to grey, dreary, wet Scotland - cant wait!!

Last edited by kitty2; Mar 13th 2009 at 4:33 am.
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