chels

[QUOTE=Genesis] The thread isn't entitled Those - especially Genesis - who have no intention of Moving Back to UK - so take some of your own advice and stop being so sensitive. Not everyone posts in reaction to something you have written

Now back to the point of the thread. I don't mind people saying how the move has worked out for them, I too think it can make people think objectively when they have both sides of the argument to consider.

Though I also think there's enough 'good' stories on the general forums to find that information from, and sometimes when you're feeling really down about where you live the last thing you want to read is how fantastic it is for someone else ie you've failed because it hasn't worked out for you. However, that is my personal opinion and I respect that this is a public forum.

But I do object to people who aggresively question those who want to return to the UK and belittle the experiences that someone is having coping with living somewhere they don't want to live.

Or who seem to have the belief that because they didn't like living in the UK, everyone else should too. And jump on you if you say something critical about where you are living now.

I also don't like to read people's views about why they can't stand the UK, when they aren't back up with concrete reasons and are just a rant about how cack their lives were then.

And I don't like people who make racist comments along the lines of 'UK isn't proper British anymore'. Those type of people do make me question if I want to return to the UK, but along with the cold weather in winter, that's one of the few things that would make me question a return.

HiddenPaw

Actually as far as sensitivity goes then on this forum I think it is important to be sensitive to the plight of others. Can you relate in any way to the emotions and decisions faced by those considering moving back to the UK. What do you gain from "rubbing people's noses in it"?.

I'm in no way questionning people's rights to post, free speech or suggesting censorship on an open forum; I'm not trying to stifle the need for balance. I do, however, question the motives of certain posters.

Wendy is right that there are often people who do it to stir; I also see that there is an egotistical factor too (perhaps unintentionally so): some people just don't see beyond their own agenda, regardless of the situation others are in. I.e cannot apply sensitivity.

HiddenPaw

Good post .

Angry White Pyjamas

Because people need to justify things to themselves.


Sometimes, once the daily supply of "UK is Shit" media is removed, then the only way left to justify the fact they now dont live there is for personal perpetuation of whatever reasons they had for leaving.

Of course some (many) people do find genuine happiness in other countries, while others eventually realise that the shit is really the same and that someone somewhere sold them a lie and now they have to live with it.

Everyone wants to swap their daily grind of UK life to live some magical fairytale existence where the sun always shines, the sea is always blue and every day is a beach party....the truth, of course, is that where ever you live you have to work, eat, sleep, feed the kids, clean the house, mow the garden, fix the car, put out the trash, read about the daily influx of immigrants ruining the country (how ironic that is) and all the other everyday things that are part of life and not a fantasy. A lot of people end up in severe disappointment when it turns out the fantasy country is, in fact, the same as the one they thought was a shithole, and the problems are in fact in them and not the country.

northernbird

I think a lot of people get cross with the UK is shit brigade as much as they get cross with the Canada/Oz/Other place is shit brigade. None of these places is shit, just not right for a particular individual. I hated where I came from in England and much prefer my life in Australia. That doesn't make England shit, it just means that my life there was.

Elvira

... Not to mention all the other shit that only expats have to deal with. You know what I mean - we've been over this a thousand times: culture shock, homesickness, being far from friends and families, problems with kids who find it difficult to settle, immigration woes, crippling cost of travel back to Blighty, etc etc.

Quite apart from emotional turmoil resulting from the difficulty of finding Marmite, Boddingtons and Jaffa Cakes, and the complete absence of M&S ready meals...

jumping doris

[QUOTE=Elvira].. culture shock, homesickness, being far from friends and families, problems with kids who find it difficult to settle, immigration woes, crippling cost of travel back to Blighty, etc etc.

All of that is nothing compared to the absence of M & S ready meals and their lovely bubble bath...but not on the same plate.

Seriously....
I like to read both sides of the returning argument and I feel sad for the people who are having difficulty settling because I know how that feels. I don't like it when some people really slag off one country against another because as we all know, nowhere is completely perfect.
It is very hard to make the decision to move from one continent to another and reading other opinions does help because it gives food for thought.
Sometimes an issue is raised that you hadn't really considered.

When you are an immigrant a trivial incident can be a lot more upsetting than it would have been at home and can add hugely to that general feeling of not belonging. I find that, personally, reading about someone who is happy in their new country is quite encouraging and makes me feel that I will get there one day.

ladyofthelake

I'm sorry, but that is showing a lack of sensitivity to other posters and their predicaments.

Just for example, a thread's discussions is about one person's bad experience, and you post how you don't have any problems, life's just wonderful for you. There is nothing to stop you posting it, it's a truthful and honest post and we have the freedom of speech on this site, but is it the right place to do so, considering how the other person is feeling? It's that 'I'm alright Jack, don't know what you're moaning about' kind of post, that really doesn't do anything for the forum or the discussion except get up people's noses.

Genesis

I personally have never seen this site as one where it is full of people posting who have 'problems'...they simply wanna return, wilfully most of the time to a place they love. I did not use the expression re 'rubbed noses' 1st..some one else used it......I still do not see my posts as nose rubbing.

Okay, its cost money for those who find it did not pan out for them...but I don't read many posts about how bereft people are that their move did not work, rather that they are happy they gave it a go and cannot wait to get back..good on them!!

People who are doing the move for the 1st time will read this site and why should there not be some balance..a note from some who do find life outside the Uk has summat to offer?? And by the way..my life has problems they are just different to the ones that It had in the UK...I just live in a nicer area with limited, if any crime. My life is only 'nigh on perfect' by comparison to the appalling stuff I had to endure in inner city Northampton. Its all relative aye?? For me nigh on perfection is simply not having a fear of crime if you like. Lived with it there 24/7 (in Northampton..in my neighbourhood).

I miss shed loads about the UK and I wished in some ways I never had felt the need to move. I will always miss much about the UK..and to be honest I am sometimes a little envious of those who can afford to return.....inspite of being very happy here. There is nothing wrong with the UK, NZ has loads of problems like most developed countries. I am sure if I had moved to some parts of Auckland I would be winging it back to mummy!!!!!! By contrast Palmy North is quietish, sleepy, small and for most people unbelievably dull!!!!!! Be we like it. XXXXXXX Good luck to all those returning!!!!

ladyofthelake

No offense, but you haven't been on here long enough to see posts like that. Not so long ago a woman was so miserable she was contemplating leaving her husband and kids in OZ and returning on her own as she felt like a unfit mother she was so miserable.

Fine, just think about how your posts may come across to others before posting.


There is balance! That is what the other country areas are for! If you look in the OZ, US or NZ areas, there are plenty of people who are enjoying their new lives and are happy and who never intend to return. They don't feel the need to post it here though, because that's not what this area is about!

HiddenPaw

So you've got no idea then of the emotions, angst, doubts, soul-searching and turmoil that one might incur in deciding whether to move back to the UK? For many, making the decision to move back is harder - far harder - than the decision to leave the UK in the first place. I'm struggling to recall a single forum poster who said the decision to move back was 'easy'.

This is the 'Moving Back to the UK' forum. People here are ALREADY living abroad. (And those who haven't yet made the move come here to read about the sorts of things that make people move back to the UK, to prepare themselves for the journey ahead.) Those who want to read what NZ has to offer will go to the NZ forum. You should post your experiences there - there are loads of people who would love to read about how your life is in NZ - it just seems a bit mis-placed here.

jad n rich

I find it interesting those who post the nastiest comments in this forum are those that "claim" they are so happy in their new country. So happy but still miserable buggers who want to rant constantly about the UK, ummm

Scout

You joined this site last month. May I ask how long you've been reading posts here? I have been around a while now and I have seen a good many people posting about all sorts of problems. Many posts here are started to avoid such problems. I have also seen plenty of posts where people are very dissappointed, not to mention stressed that it either didn't work out or they are aprehensive about returning.

This is a forum for RETURNING TO THE UK not convincing everyone the wonderful world outside the UK is the best.

Why are you even posting on this forum if you are so happy living abroad? This is generally not a debate forum. It's more of an advice forum. We share our experiences and help others to avoid pitfalls that a return move throws up.

Genesis

As they say.....I'll get my coat. See ya!!

zigspider

Just to point out that a fair percentage of those posting here are ALREADY back in the UK. Not necc. in this post but in this forum.

Jerry