British Expats

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-   The Rovers Return (https://britishexpats.com/forum/rovers-return-111/)
-   -   Those returning dont have the 'right attitude' (https://britishexpats.com/forum/rovers-return-111/those-returning-dont-have-right-attitude-325816/)

karawara88 Sep 14th 2005 1:13 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 
I have had such a laugh tonight, not been on the forum for over a year, JaneyRay how you doing? thought your comment about seeing UK with Rose tinteds was very funny. I am sat here now thinking was Perth that bad :scared: its a funny old game. :D

psb182 Sep 14th 2005 1:51 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by Foster Clan
I quite agree. We have friends here who absolutely love it and some who are still undecided and some, like us, who are planning on returning back to UK. I have had conversations with my husband about why are we the ones who can't settle here, what are we doing wrong/different to our friends who have settled nicely here? There just isn't an answer or like you say a hidden secret. I so wish I was one of the people who do settle and love it as life would be so much less complicated.


the people who settle best imo are people that are not very family oriantated or maybe I should add go getters and with a focus on the better things in life .........I settled pretty good in the states for a long time as my family was not that close.....we were not distant with each other but just not very close if you know what I mean.......over the past few years we have got a lot closer......I have money and over the past five years or so have come to the conclusion it's not all about what you got or what house and toys you have......life is all about the relationships you have with other people.......besides my family here in the states there is basically NOBODY that we are close to..........money is very over rated.......PEOPLE matter

Loopy Sep 14th 2005 2:00 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by karawara88
I have had such a laugh tonight, not been on the forum for over a year, JaneyRay how you doing? thought your comment about seeing UK with Rose tinteds was very funny. I am sat here now thinking was Perth that bad :scared: its a funny old game. :D


Long time since you've posted! How did your move back go? What have you been up to?

Loopy

LIBBY Sep 14th 2005 3:23 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 
We are going home to the UK after been in OZ for 5 months. We dont like it.

I dont care what other people think and neither should anyone else.

It is your life and as long as you are doing the right thing for you and yours then who cares what anyone else thinks.

Australia is a lovely place. I just dont want to live here and the only way to find that out is to emigrate. Why does it make you a bad person to admit it isnt for you??

Rant over,

Libby.

RReed Sep 14th 2005 3:54 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by psb182
the people who settle best imo are people that are not very family oriantated or maybe I should add go getters and with a focus on the better things in life .........I settled pretty good in the states for a long time as my family was not that close.....we were not distant with each other but just not very close if you know what I mean.......over the past few years we have got a lot closer......I have money and over the past five years or so have come to the conclusion it's not all about what you got or what house and toys you have......life is all about the relationships you have with other people.......besides my family here in the states there is basically NOBODY that we are close to..........money is very over rated.......PEOPLE matter

I agree - people are more important than money. However, I think this is WHY we have settled in oz. We have never earned lots of money and earn less here. But the lifestyle has enabled us to spend more time together as a family. We may be on the other side of the world to our relatives and friends. But the people who matter the most - my husband and kids are here. I miss friends, but the ones that are true friends remain friends where ever you live.

I think whether someone will settle or not is nothing to do with good or bad attitudes. It is far more complex than that, because people are complex. There should be no 'blame' or 'fault' attached to anyones decisions to move, stay or return.

Rachel

janeyray Sep 14th 2005 7:57 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by karawara88
I have had such a laugh tonight, not been on the forum for over a year, JaneyRay how you doing? thought your comment about seeing UK with Rose tinteds was very funny. I am sat here now thinking was Perth that bad :scared: its a funny old game. :D

Well, well, well ~!!!! :D

Good day to you!!! We are fine, and yourselves?

So you're not in the process of planning a return to OZ then? NO... we aren't either. Things are better here now for us this time around in the UK than they were before and they were good then!! Apart from not having a horse (yet) life goes on and I have a better outlook on life here ..

I say outlook..do I mean better 'attitude'!!! lol :D

karawara88 Sep 15th 2005 1:31 am

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by janeyray
Well, well, well ~!!!! :D

Good day to you!!! We are fine, and yourselves?

So you're not in the process of planning a return to OZ then? NO... we aren't either. Things are better here now for us this time around in the UK than they were before and they were good then!! Apart from not having a horse (yet) life goes on and I have a better outlook on life here ..

I say outlook..do I mean better 'attitude'!!! lol :D

Hi Janeyray and Loopy.

Coming back to the UK was the right move for us, its took a year though to get back to "normal" we are now living in the same size house we had before leaving, but that cost us another £50,000 just to live in the same area. :eek:

Donna is now self employed as a consultant and doing well, I set-up a handyman business http://www.hubbyhire.co.uk which is great fun, work as and when I feel like it.

Perth was a nice experience but not right for us to live there, although I miss the sunny days and Kings Park. But not the bloody flys. :D

merlotsmum Sep 15th 2005 1:42 am

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by karawara88
Coming back to the UK was the right move for us, its took a year though to get back to "normal"

About the same time scale when we returned to the UK, maybe a tad longer to get back on our feet.

scrawni Sep 15th 2005 3:48 am

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 
We have been back 6 months and we are just starting to feel more 'sorted'. We are living back in the same house.

Nice as this is, I do sometimes wonder if this was the right move. We had such a big change yet we came back to the same place we left. Yet, we both feel that we have moved on as people.

It take guts to move to a new country and alot more to admit to wanting to come home. Financially, it is expensive, emotionally it is draining but I do think you learn a great deal about yourselves and your relationships with other people.

It will take time to settle back into life here but at least you have the help of family and friends this time round!! :)

Mandy

merlotsmum Sep 15th 2005 8:06 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by scrawni
We have been back 6 months and we are just starting to feel more 'sorted'. We are living back in the same house.

Nice as this is, I do sometimes wonder if this was the right move. We had such a big change yet we came back to the same place we left. Yet, we both feel that we have moved on as people.

It take guts to move to a new country and alot more to admit to wanting to come home. Financially, it is expensive, emotionally it is draining but I do think you learn a great deal about yourselves and your relationships with other people.

It will take time to settle back into life here but at least you have the help of family and friends this time round!! :)

Mandy

It is similiar to moving to a new country coming back to the UK.

We went through a lot of months suffering "culture shock", trying not to convert everything we bought to Oz $$$, working out how the car rego/MOT system works, settling into the "English" working ways, etc, etc.

ANA123 Sep 15th 2005 11:03 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 
Great thread, i have often wondered why others take it so personally when some of us want to go home????? Its like critisizing someone because they dont like potatos!
Good luck to everyone,
Michaela

merlotsmum Sep 15th 2005 11:49 pm

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by mcmercer
Great thread, i have often wondered why others take it so personally when some of us want to go home????? Its like critisizing someone because they dont like potatos!
Good luck to everyone,
Michaela

I know, you share your real life experiences on the Forums, which of course are going to be completely different to others and they call it negative, to me it is being a realist, as long as you don't get personal we should be able to write how we feel.

The most annoying thing is those that haven't even been there, let alone done it in any way, shape or form.

Heck I feel different about my life everyday, somedays its great, others I feel down yet I would say I have a very positive attitude to life as a whole.

pdohr Sep 16th 2005 3:09 am

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 
I would suggest to those slagging off returning expats to get off their
high horses...

Lots of people who emigrate to the other side of the world think they´ve
discovered paradise... As you reach a different stage in your life, you suddenly get that nagging feeling that there is a little more to life than "laying back, barbeques, beaches, sun, a large house, 2 cars and a pool"...

Homesickness and that "not belonging here" - feeling can kick in after a few months, years, even after 25 years or so... When you get to that stage, you´ll be sorry you didn´t do like those you previously slagged off, that means, pack up and go home.. It takes more gut to do this than when you came out in the first place. My respect, sympathy, support and good wishes to anybody in that situation...

Believe me, I´ve seen my share of human tragedies during my time and know what I´m talking about.

Keep those bridges standing for as long as possible... don´t burn them too easily... Leaving your home country, family, friends, culture - in many cases, your identity... comes at a price...

Sorry, just had to get this off my chest!

TanyaN Sep 16th 2005 3:17 am

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 
I think the main reason a lot of British people don't stick it out in Australia is the feeling of isolation, especially in places like Perth and Adelaide. When you've lived in Europe and everything is so close at hand and where you can do things like go to Paris for the weekend, it's no wonder people feel homesick.

However, if you've made the commitment to emigrate as well as the expense, it's only fair to give yourself at least 2 years to settle. People who give up after a few months obviously aren't being serious and are looking for a holiday rather than a new lifestyle.

ladyofthelake Sep 16th 2005 4:34 am

Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'
 

Originally Posted by TanyaN
. People who give up after a few months obviously aren't being serious and are looking for a holiday rather than a new lifestyle.

What? Like they don't have the right attitude?? :rolleyes: LOL.


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