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Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:02 am
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Default Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

It makes me quite angry when I read that people who don't stay in the country they choose to emmigrate to mustn't have the right attitude.

I read from many posters who are yet waiting to go/or those that are settled and living quite happily in thier new chosen country that if you want to return or don't like where you are then it's all about attitude?

What is the right attitude then? Are they saying that as soon as we land that we aren't prepared to work? we aren't prepared to live a different way/to adapt to their culture? that we aren't prepared to leave the Uk behind? What?..what is then that makes the right attitude???

I think my family certainly had the 'same' attitude that the thousands of migrants that leave the UK each day have. We planned for ages, did our research, did everything the same as everyone else, we didnt do anything different.

When we arrived we did the same as everyone else, made friends (Aussie and British) hubby got a job, daughter started school, we bought a house, we got on with our lives in Perth. We didnt have a different attitude towards Australia that singled us out as a definate to return to the UK. Homesickness isn't a fault, it isn't an attitude problem.

Everything we did in our plans to go to Australia were the same as thousands of others...it's just plain and simple... you either like it or you dont, there is no hidden secret as to why some stay and some don't. It doesn't matter what type of person you are and what type of attitude you have...what rubbish.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:11 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by janeyray
It makes me quite angry when I read that people who don't stay in the country they choose to emmigrate to mustn't have the right attitude.

I read from many posters who are yet waiting to go/or those that are settled and living quite happily in thier new chosen country that if you want to return or don't like where you are then it's all about attitude?

What is the right attitude then? Are they saying that as soon as we land that we aren't prepared to work? we aren't prepared to live a different way/to adapt to their culture? that we aren't prepared to leave the Uk behind? What?..what is then that makes the right attitude???

I think my family certainly had the 'same' attitude that the thousands of migrants that leave the UK each day have. We planned for ages, did our research, did everything the same as everyone else, we didnt do anything different.

When we arrived we did the same as everyone else, made friends (Aussie and British) hubby got a job, daughter started school, we bought a house, we got on with our lives in Perth. We didnt have a different attitude towards Australia that singled us out as a definate to return to the UK. Homesickness isn't a fault, it isn't an attitude problem.

Everything we did in our plans to go to Australia were the same as thousands of others...it's just plain and simple... you either like it or you dont, there is no hidden secret as to why some stay and some don't. It doesn't matter what type of person you are and what type of attitude you have...what rubbish.

Hi Janey,

Have I understood your post correctly? Was homesickness the reason for your return to UK?
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:11 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by janeyray
It makes me quite angry when I read that people who don't stay in the country they choose to emmigrate to mustn't have the right attitude.

I read from many posters who are yet waiting to go/or those that are settled and living quite happily in thier new chosen country that if you want to return or don't like where you are then it's all about attitude?

What is the right attitude then? Are they saying that as soon as we land that we aren't prepared to work? we aren't prepared to live a different way/to adapt to their culture? that we aren't prepared to leave the Uk behind? What?..what is then that makes the right attitude???

I think my family certainly had the 'same' attitude that the thousands of migrants that leave the UK each day have. We planned for ages, did our research, did everything the same as everyone else, we didnt do anything different.

When we arrived we did the same as everyone else, made friends (Aussie and British) hubby got a job, daughter started school, we bought a house, we got on with our lives in Perth. We didnt have a different attitude towards Australia that singled us out as a definate to return to the UK. Homesickness isn't a fault, it isn't an attitude problem.

Everything we did in our plans to go to Australia were the same as thousands of others...it's just plain and simple... you either like it or you dont, there is no hidden secret as to why some stay and some don't. It doesn't matter what type of person you are and what type of attitude you have...what rubbish.
I quite agree. We have friends here who absolutely love it and some who are still undecided and some, like us, who are planning on returning back to UK. I have had conversations with my husband about why are we the ones who can't settle here, what are we doing wrong/different to our friends who have settled nicely here? There just isn't an answer or like you say a hidden secret. I so wish I was one of the people who do settle and love it as life would be so much less complicated.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:13 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by Mrs JFW
Hi Janey,

Have I understood your post correctly? Was homesickness the reason for your return to UK?
Yes, homesickness that I couldn't get over. It took a hold and wouldn't let go, not matter what I did. Glad to be back though as second time round the UK is seen through Rose Tinted Glasses for a lot of the time by me. hey, and I've been back over a year now!!!
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:25 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by janeyray
Yes, homesickness that I couldn't get over. It took a hold and wouldn't let go, not matter what I did. Glad to be back though as second time round the UK is seen through Rose Tinted Glasses for a lot of the time by me. hey, and I've been back over a year now!!!

I'm one of those people who are still in the planning stages of going out to Oz. Not sent application in yet or anything, but trying to get as much information as I can about things and its good to hear about everyones experiences whatever they may be.

Glad to hear that you are happy where you are now.

I suppose we should just go and see for ourselves, keep an open mind and see what happens. Hoping to go for a holiday/research trip to Oz next year, just to try and get a feel of what it might be like. I'm not brave enough to up sticks and move to a country I've never visited before. More expense I know, but worth it for my peace of mind.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:30 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by Mrs JFW
I'm one of those people who are still in the planning stages of going out to Oz. Not sent application in yet or anything, but trying to get as much information as I can about things and its good to hear about everyones experiences whatever they may be.

Glad to hear that you are happy where you are now.

I suppose we should just go and see for ourselves, keep an open mind and see what happens. Hoping to go for a holiday/research trip to Oz next year, just to try and get a feel of what it might be like. I'm not brave enough to up sticks and move to a country I've never visited before. More expense I know, but worth it for my peace of mind.
Once that 'emigration bug' takes hold of you there is nothing much that can stop you eating, breathing and sleeping Australia, I know!! But I agree you must try it.
I know a family that went to OZ on five trips to see if they liked it enough to live, they moved out there and within three weeks had returned, no amount of visiting can prepare for life permanently out there. Eyes wide open and all that. Good luck, you'll have fun visiting and may love the country.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:49 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

I posted on your thread in the Australia Forum, it is such a personal thing and I think as long as others don't jump on the heads of those that clearly are unhappy in their current situation and offer more support, this Forum would be a better place.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 1:05 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by janeyray
Once that 'emigration bug' takes hold of you there is nothing much that can stop you eating, breathing and sleeping Australia, I know!! But I agree you must try it.
I know a family that went to OZ on five trips to see if they liked it enough to live, they moved out there and within three weeks had returned, no amount of visiting can prepare for life permanently out there. Eyes wide open and all that. Good luck, you'll have fun visiting and may love the country.

5 times OMG!
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 1:47 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Funnily enough our attitude to life changed whilst in Oz (all 6 months of being there)................. we realised that it is actually our lives we are living & what matters most is our family's happiness. We knew that we were going to get some stick off people (whose opinion really didn't matter to us anyway) & the only reason we were coming back to UK was to make our quality of life better again.

I used to be one of those people who was obsessed with what everyone thought about me, a 'keep up with the Jones' ' sort. But now I couldn't give 2 hoots what they think. We have 2 little cars which are paid for, rent a house in a lovely village, have plenty of savings stashed away and have no debt to worry about. Oh & we're still happy!

I know where I want to be now & it's right here.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 3:31 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by janeyray
It makes me quite angry when I read that people who don't stay in the country they choose to emmigrate to mustn't have the right attitude.

I read from many posters who are yet waiting to go/or those that are settled and living quite happily in thier new chosen country that if you want to return or don't like where you are then it's all about attitude?

What is the right attitude then? Are they saying that as soon as we land that we aren't prepared to work? we aren't prepared to live a different way/to adapt to their culture? that we aren't prepared to leave the Uk behind? What?..what is then that makes the right attitude???

I think my family certainly had the 'same' attitude that the thousands of migrants that leave the UK each day have. We planned for ages, did our research, did everything the same as everyone else, we didnt do anything different.

When we arrived we did the same as everyone else, made friends (Aussie and British) hubby got a job, daughter started school, we bought a house, we got on with our lives in Perth. We didnt have a different attitude towards Australia that singled us out as a definate to return to the UK. Homesickness isn't a fault, it isn't an attitude problem.

Everything we did in our plans to go to Australia were the same as thousands of others...it's just plain and simple... you either like it or you dont, there is no hidden secret as to why some stay and some don't. It doesn't matter what type of person you are and what type of attitude you have...what rubbish.
A lot of people on the Australia forum throw about words like 'troll', 'failure' etc etc. You can't take too much of this seriously as in my experience its rarely people 'failing' that makes them leave a place, its more people discovering (with time) that their personal preferences are more adequately met somewhere else. Some people find the new country makes them happier and others don't, just like some people like country music (to use an appropriate example) and others don't. Doesn't mean people who don't like country music are failures. Whatever floats your boat and if you find you love Australia I won't knock you for it and if you find you don't and prefer somewhere else then that's fine too. I have many good friends in both camps. It is funny though how certain people on these forums rave and drool and boast about a particular place they have found which they believe is heaven on earth over and over again and can't comprehend others thinking otherwise.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 3:55 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

I still think many people think that a move will change them and thats why they are desperate to move. Its only after they get to their chosen country do they realise that the changes they yearn for could have happened in the UK. Big shock when you move you are still the same person! One example was I read an oz poster yesterday who was asking about the kind of food people ate in Oz because they imagined that when they got there they would be eating more healthily

Another issue that I see is the holiday syndrome. You know what its like you go on holiday and everything feels happy and freeing and easy. And you see the locals and they look the same and you think I could live here. Well the truth is you can only feel like that for 2 weeks when your on holiday because once some where becomes home little things like a mortgage and bills and day to day annoyances creep in and guess what holiday spirit gone. Life takes over. Only this time you are the minority person and you have no familiar things around you like your family. Suddenly everything is put into perspective with huge clarity.

If you can make a life for yourself then good for you, your successful. However if you return a better person with your extra knowledge then that makes you also a success in my book.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 7:00 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by ladylisa
I still think many people think that a move will change them and thats why they are desperate to move. Its only after they get to their chosen country do they realise that the changes they yearn for could have happened in the UK. Big shock when you move you are still the same person! One example was I read an oz poster yesterday who was asking about the kind of food people ate in Oz because they imagined that when they got there they would be eating more healthily

Another issue that I see is the holiday syndrome. You know what its like you go on holiday and everything feels happy and freeing and easy. And you see the locals and they look the same and you think I could live here. Well the truth is you can only feel like that for 2 weeks when your on holiday because once some where becomes home little things like a mortgage and bills and day to day annoyances creep in and guess what holiday spirit gone. Life takes over. Only this time you are the minority person and you have no familiar things around you like your family. Suddenly everything is put into perspective with huge clarity.

If you can make a life for yourself then good for you, your successful. However if you return a better person with your extra knowledge then that makes you also a success in my book.
Damn right, well said. You would have to be a ridiculously negative person not to see living abroad as at least a positive, educational experience.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 9:30 am
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by janeyray

It makes me quite angry when I read that people who don't stay in the country they choose to emmigrate to mustn't have the right attitude.
Yes but remember those saying it usually have a funny attitude themselves

Not having visited australia or not having ever left it , declare everything and everyone in the UK is crap and everything and everyone in australia is wonderful. Cant see a better way to set oneself up for major dissapointment than failing to accept australias is just another country with lots of problems some the same and some unique to itself.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:21 pm
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

Originally Posted by Mrs JFW
5 times OMG!
And returned within 3 weeks! That's no longet than a holiday. Sounds a little Disney to me.
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Old Sep 14th 2005, 12:39 pm
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Default Re: Those returning dont have the 'right attitude'

[QUOTE=jad n rich]Yes but remember those saying it usually have a funny attitude themselves

Not having visited australia or not having ever left it , declare everything and everyone in the UK is crap and everything and everyone in australia is wonderful.

I just love it when people who have never been to Oz start jumping up & down when any negative thoughts are aired! Their rose tinted glasses are firmly in place! Seriously though, they are probably scared/worried when they hear anything negative so imediately jump on it to quash their insecurities. Noone can really know how it will be for them until they've tried it.
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