Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Old Nov 8th 2007, 2:21 pm
  #121  
 
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by LouiseD
Every family is different Mike but I would advise anyone think very carefully about uprooting teenagers against their wishes. I only say this because we dragged our 17 year old daughter to Melbourne and if I could have foreseen the heartache and emotional destruction it caused her, there is no way I would have put her through it.

Back home now, I will forever live with the guilt of making that decision to drag her away from everything she knew and loved at such a vulnerable age and for not listening to her and valuing her opinions. The consequences of what we did are irreversable although things are improving now.

Good luck - hope it all works out well for you all
Friends of ours who post on the forum ...took there two children to Perth same age as Mikes and they loved everything about Australia........They blossomed in every possible way and would never come back to the UK. And on the other hand i have read about little 'uns not settleing. Each child, each family are different. But if you don't try you will have never known

Last edited by Issie; Nov 8th 2007 at 2:54 pm.
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Old Nov 8th 2007, 2:52 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by LouiseD
Every family is different Mike but I would advise anyone think very carefully about uprooting teenagers against their wishes. I only say this because we dragged our 17 year old daughter to Melbourne and if I could have foreseen the heartache and emotional destruction it caused her, there is no way I would have put her through it.

Back home now, I will forever live with the guilt of making that decision to drag her away from everything she knew and loved at such a vulnerable age and for not listening to her and valuing her opinions. The consequences of what we did are irreversable although things are improving now.

Good luck - hope it all works out well for you all
20/20 hindsight is wonderful!

Anyone who has lived through parenting through the teenage years and doesn't have regrets about what they put their kids through is a rare occurence! We'd all like to believe that we do the best for our kids, and at the time we make decisions that's exactly what we believe we're doing.

I have a friend here who came out at 16, (24 years ago), and put her parents through Hell, she now deeply regrets that, and agrees that Australia is the best thing her parents could have given her.

If we're very lucky, our children grow up and recognise, (when they have children of their own!!!!), that being a parent is the toughest job of all, that's where I am at the moment. One child is a parent of two, and one child is about to have a child, and they now have more respect for me than they ever had before.

The old saying, "walk a mile in my shoes", comes into effect here.

We all do our very best, it's the best we can do! Life is tough enough without beating yourself up unnecessarily!

All the best to all of you parents of teenagers out there. I feel very lucky to have survived those years!

Maggie
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Old Nov 8th 2007, 3:22 pm
  #123  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Hey Rachie - i will be there in 19 days and then we can have that catch up we keep trying to have Not sure if its good news or not but seems i now get the whole bottle of wine to myself I will bring you a fanta
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Old Nov 8th 2007, 5:13 pm
  #124  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Not much help to the OP really, but I knew after 3 days, and I CHOSE to do something about it and get the hell out ! In my opinion being somewhere that made me contemplate suicide is probably not the right place to live.
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Old Nov 9th 2007, 1:25 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by seasprite
Not much help to the OP really, but I knew after 3 days, and I CHOSE to do something about it and get the hell out ! In my opinion being somewhere that made me contemplate suicide is probably not the right place to live.
Hi Seasprite. How are things now? back in UK..

Have you sorted a place of your own. I went back to UK for 3 weeks and lived with my parents. I loved seeing them, but i knew i couldn't go back there for good unless i had my own place.
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Old Nov 9th 2007, 11:04 pm
  #126  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by Nu-Shooz
Hi Seasprite. How are things now? back in UK..

Have you sorted a place of your own. I went back to UK for 3 weeks and lived with my parents. I loved seeing them, but i knew i couldn't go back there for good unless i had my own place.
I am pleased to say the whole Oz thang is becoming blurrier by the day. It is so good to be back and normal ! We have our own home again (same area), friends, places, etc. Lovely. Yes, the being back at parents home bit was very stressy, but worth it and at least we now know what we want. Mid life crisis done and dusted hopefully
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Old Nov 10th 2007, 1:48 am
  #127  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by seasprite
I am pleased to say the whole Oz thang is becoming blurrier by the day. It is so good to be back and normal ! We have our own home again (same area), friends, places, etc. Lovely. Yes, the being back at parents home bit was very stressy, but worth it and at least we now know what we want. Mid life crisis done and dusted hopefully
Midlife crisis! You're only 38 woman! Maybe you had yours early?!
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Old Nov 10th 2007, 2:25 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by seasprite
I am pleased to say the whole Oz thang is becoming blurrier by the day. It is so good to be back and normal ! We have our own home again (same area), friends, places, etc. Lovely. Yes, the being back at parents home bit was very stressy, but worth it and at least we now know what we want. Mid life crisis done and dusted hopefully
you are so lucky, i have seen a house in our old street which i would luv to buy, dunnow why its not selling , the price has recently dropped by over £20,000

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/viewdetai..._n=19&tr_t=buy

the reason the street is called castle drive , is it is across the road from dean castle country estate, where my kids spent many a happy day, playing , sledging , collecting berries , etc, etc

Last edited by Margaret3; Nov 10th 2007 at 2:29 am.
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Old Nov 10th 2007, 9:04 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by Margaret3
you are so lucky, i have seen a house in our old street which i would luv to buy, dunnow why its not selling , the price has recently dropped by over £20,000

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/viewdetai..._n=19&tr_t=buy

the reason the street is called castle drive , is it is across the road from dean castle country estate, where my kids spent many a happy day, playing , sledging , collecting berries , etc, etc
Margaret ...you sound as though you wanting to go home too?

Are you still finding it hard in work ?

Hope you ok love
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Old Nov 10th 2007, 12:17 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Hi Margaret

Have you only been in Ausstralia, since April this year. Dont pack it in to early......The grass is always greener.....but never is. I am i n UK trying to get back to Perth, when I left many years ago I did not get citizenship.....And now finding it hard to get a visa.....bloody cold, wet and windy here in the UK, how I would love some Aussie Sunshine at the moment.
They say you have to give aussie at least 2 years....Give it a go...
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Old Nov 10th 2007, 6:23 pm
  #131  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Only just seen this thread.

Rach - Good luck with your pregnancy. I hope everything works out for you x
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Old Nov 11th 2007, 2:52 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Havent read all of the posts yet but from what i've read so far im in agreement with. We arrived in Melbourne in July 06 and knew pretty much straight away that we weren't happy there, BUT we'd come so far, given up so much we knew we had to give it our best shot, lasted 9 months in Melbourne and then decided it was back to blighty or one last push in another part of Aus.
We moved to Adelaide in April, it wasnt easy starting from scratch again, but we love it here, it's not england, theres no friends/family, but we're getting there. Maybe thats an option he would consider?
Whatever happens the best of luck to you and your son

Maria
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Old Nov 12th 2007, 6:29 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by seanandmaria
Havent read all of the posts yet but from what i've read so far im in agreement with. We arrived in Melbourne in July 06 and knew pretty much straight away that we weren't happy there, BUT we'd come so far, given up so much we knew we had to give it our best shot, lasted 9 months in Melbourne and then decided it was back to blighty or one last push in another part of Aus.
We moved to Adelaide in April, it wasnt easy starting from scratch again, but we love it here, it's not england, theres no friends/family, but we're getting there. Maybe thats an option he would consider?
Whatever happens the best of luck to you and your son

Maria
We did the same moved melbourne to perth we were in melbourne for 1 year things are better for us here but i still get homesick a lot.
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Old Nov 12th 2007, 8:13 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by MaggieM
20/20 hindsight is wonderful!

Anyone who has lived through parenting through the teenage years and doesn't have regrets about what they put their kids through is a rare occurence! We'd all like to believe that we do the best for our kids, and at the time we make decisions that's exactly what we believe we're doing.

I have a friend here who came out at 16, (24 years ago), and put her parents through Hell, she now deeply regrets that, and agrees that Australia is the best thing her parents could have given her.

If we're very lucky, our children grow up and recognise, (when they have children of their own!!!!), that being a parent is the toughest job of all, that's where I am at the moment. One child is a parent of two, and one child is about to have a child, and they now have more respect for me than they ever had before.

The old saying, "walk a mile in my shoes", comes into effect here.

We all do our very best, it's the best we can do! Life is tough enough without beating yourself up unnecessarily!

All the best to all of you parents of teenagers out there. I feel very lucky to have survived those years!

Maggie
Thanks for that I know where you are coming from. We are moving to Cairns in january and are taking 2 teenagers in tow 13,and 16 yrs. I want to give them the opportunity to try it if it doesnt work then we will head back to the uk this way we can all go together if we leave it my son wont be able to go on my skills. So that made the decision for us. Its been so hard and the pressure on the marriage throughout the process but we will give it a try who knows it might be the best or worse thing we have ever done.
Trudi
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Old Nov 12th 2007, 11:11 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by sophjam
Thanks for that I know where you are coming from. We are moving to Cairns in january and are taking 2 teenagers in tow 13,and 16 yrs. I want to give them the opportunity to try it if it doesnt work then we will head back to the uk this way we can all go together if we leave it my son wont be able to go on my skills. So that made the decision for us. Its been so hard and the pressure on the marriage throughout the process but we will give it a try who knows it might be the best or worse thing we have ever done.
Trudi
Hi Trudi!

We came out here nearly three years ago because my daughter had spent a year travelling round Oz in 2000 and came back saying that she was going to come back to live in Melbourne. We applied for our visa asap because we knew that OH needed to be here before he turned 45. We knew that when we came we would have to stay for the two years to get citizenship so that we could sponsor my daughter. Meanwhile, my son, her brother, applied for New Zealand because he couldn't take the heat in Oz. While we're all merrily going through the visa hell, and rollercoaster ride of getting here, daughter meets a boy, (man), falls in love, gets married, discovers she's pregnant (two days before she gets her TRA results!!!!!) and now doesn't know if she'll ever come out here to live! Fortunately, the TRA result is valid until she turns 45 so she has plenty of time to make up her mind.

That's kids for you!! As I previously said, we make decisions that are the best we can at the time, but we can't factor every little if and/or but into them.

Meanwhile, son, daughter in law, grandson and granddaughter have been in NZ for over a year and are loving it! Husband, seven year old son and I are in Brisbane and loving it. We wait patiently to see what will happen in the future, but having come to the other side of the world so that we would be close to daughter/sister rather than spend a fortune visiting her if she was in Oz and we were in UK, we are now spending $$$$$$$$$$ visiting her in UK!

What can you do? The one thing I'd say is that I brought my elder two up to get out in the world and make a life they loved. That's what they're doing. I'm very proud of them. Secretly, I'd love them to live around the corner from me, but it's not what I brought them up to do. And, I hope that my young son is as adventurous as his brother and sister have been so far, and that I can weep quietly, while pasting a big grin on my face when he tells me what his life plan is!! (Hoping it's not the immigration rollercoaster though!!)

Sorry for long post, hope you haven't fallen asleep!!

All the very best to you,

Maggie
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