Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Old Nov 6th 2007, 1:21 pm
  #91  
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

[QUOTE=TiddlyPom;5517694]Thanks... BUT you gave it more time. Most people here say to give it a year... and that's when you're really clear ... I totally agree with that.


Yes I did give it longer but only because my OH insisted we stayed longer - if it had been up to me I would have gone back to the UK after a month - my point is I think it is possible to make your mind up about a place within 2 months for SOME people.
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 1:30 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
No, I have three children I bought out here. I am responsible to them. They are depending on me behaving like an adult and choosing (there's that word again) the best possible outcome for myself and for them.

Sometimes we have to all step up to the plate, stop making excuses and make a choice to behave like an adult instead of letting our own selfish reasons get in the way.
I know what you are saying but sometimes we also have to think about ourselves and our life and how we feel - yes of course as a Mum I feel my children are the most important thing in the world but I figure the most important things for my children is to have happy, well adjusted parents and a happy, stable homelife wherever in the world that maybe.
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 3:44 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Well Hubby decided today he hates Oz after just two months and want's to go back to the UK. I have no choice in the matter as we have a nearly 4 year old son....all the hard work, struggles and stress getting here are now all for nothing.

I don't want to go back I want to give it year and then return. I have no choice. If he stays he will resent me and be unhappy and if I go back home I will feel the same.

Not a good situation...and not for our son either...he loves it here too. I got him in a great school and he has made friends. I feel so empty. All I have done today is cry.

At least we all still have our health so not so bad. Not looking forward to moving back...
Hi ozzie nurse.
I moved my wife back to the UK 19 years ago, however we lived there for 3 years and I was missing her side of the family back in greater manchester....that was 19 years ago....my wife loved Perth however told me before we left that if we moved back to the UK she would never move back to Perth, no matter what....What a mistake I made....I actualy lived in Perth for total of 15 yrs but never got citizenship, once I was out of thje country for 5 years my visa expired, and I could not return even if my wife would have changed her mind. i have all my family in perth, my sister lives in secret harbour and my mum and brother live in freo. After all these years my wife does not speak to any of her family, except her mum now and again so the only family we get on with are my family in perth. I dont know what you can do to try and persuade your hubby to stay in perth. is it secret harbour where you live.....my brother in law has lived there over 30 years with my sister, loves sport and is a golf fanatic.....we were over there in Secret harbour 2 years back for our first holiday there since we left, I loved it and it broke my heart to leave again.....It looks like you will be leaving next feb, unless your hubby has a miraculous conversion to the Aussie way of life....just keep the door open to return......feb is not a good time to move back to the UK..my guess is that he will soon realise what a mistake he has made when he feels the cold rain and wind on his face. On the plus side for my situation, for the first time since my visa expired I am eligable to return on a business visa, 4 years at first but hopefully permanent later on.......I am now trying to persuade my wife to return.....not an easy job, but hey, I am sure it will be worth it in the end.....Take care.....
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 4:12 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by isleofmanmike
when he feels the cold rain and wind on his face.
Yea, that sounds like a manx winter to me mate
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 6:33 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by isleofmanmike
Hi ozzie nurse.
I moved my wife back to the UK 19 years ago, however we lived there for 3 years and I was missing her side of the family back in greater manchester....that was 19 years ago....my wife loved Perth however told me before we left that if we moved back to the UK she would never move back to Perth, no matter what....What a mistake I made....I actualy lived in Perth for total of 15 yrs but never got citizenship, once I was out of thje country for 5 years my visa expired, and I could not return even if my wife would have changed her mind. i have all my family in perth, my sister lives in secret harbour and my mum and brother live in freo. After all these years my wife does not speak to any of her family, except her mum now and again so the only family we get on with are my family in perth. I dont know what you can do to try and persuade your hubby to stay in perth. is it secret harbour where you live.....my brother in law has lived there over 30 years with my sister, loves sport and is a golf fanatic.....we were over there in Secret harbour 2 years back for our first holiday there since we left, I loved it and it broke my heart to leave again.....It looks like you will be leaving next feb, unless your hubby has a miraculous conversion to the Aussie way of life....just keep the door open to return......feb is not a good time to move back to the UK..my guess is that he will soon realise what a mistake he has made when he feels the cold rain and wind on his face. On the plus side for my situation, for the first time since my visa expired I am eligable to return on a business visa, 4 years at first but hopefully permanent later on.......I am now trying to persuade my wife to return.....not an easy job, but hey, I am sure it will be worth it in the end.....Take care.....
Good luck Mike

My family live in the IOM .......sure is a cold and damp place in the winter

We leave for perth om 10 wks.....Heading to Carine
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 7:15 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

I lived on the island for 2 and a half years.
Started off in Douglas and ended up renting an apartment in Thoyt-y-will (used to be the old pub, I believe).
I loved it in the summer, doing the land speed record over the mountain every weekend, pretending to be Joey Dunlop, lol. Winter was dire though. Foggy, wet and windy. Drove me mad
Still miss it in the summer. Policemen waving at you when you pass them at 160mph is quite a novelty
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 9:59 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

[QUOTE=pommybird;5517865]
Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
Thanks... BUT you gave it more time. Most people here say to give it a year... and that's when you're really clear ... I totally agree with that.


Yes I did give it longer but only because my OH insisted we stayed longer - if it had been up to me I would have gone back to the UK after a month - my point is I think it is possible to make your mind up about a place within 2 months for SOME people.
Some people? Two months isn't long enough to make up your mind about a new job, given that the accepted time to adjust to that is three months. How therefore is it possibly enough time to adjust to moving around the world?
My point is he's made up his mind before he knows what he's really deciding about.. which is ridiculous. And look at all the strain he's putting on poor Rach.


Anyway, my opinion. Not sitting here arguing in the MB forum with a bunch of ex-expats. I'm no stronger than anyone else... I'm just more flexible, more willing to give it time, instead of deciding on something I really don't know enough about. But there are others, who aren't willing to be that flexible because they're too set in their ways. Fair do's. Just sad to cut off your nose to spite your face.

Keep hanging in there Rach.


x
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 10:02 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
Some people? Two months isn't long enough to make up your mind about a new job, given that the accepted time to adjust to that is three months. How therefore is it possibly enough time to adjust to moving around the world?
My point is he's made up his mind before he knows what he's really deciding about.. which is ridiculous. And look at all the strain he's putting on poor Rach.


Anyway, my opinion. Not sitting here arguing in the MB forum with a bunch of ex-expats. I'm no stronger than anyone else... I'm just more flexible, more willing to give it time, instead of deciding on something I really don't know enough about. But there are others, who aren't willing to be that flexible because they're too set in their ways. Fair do's. Just sad to cut off your nose to spite your face.

Keep hanging in there Rach.


x
each to their own, whether expats or "ex-expats"
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 10:03 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by gedge
each to their own, whether expats or "ex-expats"
As I said... my opinion.
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 10:08 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
As I said... my opinion.
expressed with words that rub the wrong way, just my opinion
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 10:13 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

I agree that 2 months is long enough to get yourself in a right old state and be miserable beyond what you would ever imagine on your way out to a new adventure. I certainly don't dispute the possibilty that within such a short time a person could be completely at the end of his/her tether.

I also believe that many on here who felt that way after just two months hadn't changed too much 1 year or 2 years further on (conversely, there have been plenty of examples who eventually adjusted and were glad they stuck it out).

I don't believe that 2 months is enough time to make the major decision to return, especially in this situation where others are involved. The possibility that things MIGHT get better is enough to wait it out a while longer before considering the massive undertaking of going all the way back to the UK.

So saith the ping-pong-ping-ponger!!
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 10:17 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by gedge
expressed with words that rub the wrong way, just my opinion
Oh well, fair enough if you think so. Wasn't my intention to rub the wrong way.
I was just trying to point out the irony that some people are in the UK on this thread. It makes it a little one sided if there are people who're there telling her that he's ok when he's obviously not. But of course, this is the infamous MB forum.

I'm more concerned for Rach and that the outcome is right for her, given her pregnancy.
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 10:19 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by dunroving
I agree that 2 months is long enough to get yourself in a right old state and be miserable beyond what you would ever imagine on your way out to a new adventure. I certainly don't dispute the possibilty that within such a short time a person could be completely at the end of his/her tether.
No, not at all. I totally agree with you. It's easy to get into a hole in this process and not be able to see the way out.

.......So saith the ping-pong-ping-ponger!!
LOL.
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Old Nov 6th 2007, 10:20 pm
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
Oh well, fair enough if you think so. Wasn't my intention to rub the wrong way.
I was just trying to point out the irony that some people are in the UK on this thread. It makes it a little one sided if there are people who're there telling her that he's ok when he's obviously not. But of course, this is the infamous MB forum.

I'm more concerned for Rach and that the outcome is right for her, given her pregnancy.
that's very true, i apologise for picking that point
what counts most is the OP's wellbeing, i think we agree
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Old Nov 7th 2007, 2:16 am
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Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Just to put in my tuppence worth whether 2 months is long enough. I reckon it is. It so depends on the reasons for wanting to return and yes you can compare elements of your life that quickly, particularly the more objective elements e.g employment opportunities, schooling, day to day living. I think if the reasons are very fundamental and will not change with time then there is a case for damage limitation and appreciating what you had and returning. If it is more emotional and a 'feeling' it is not quite right then yes adjustment and time will always be useful. I felt 'emotional' the first few weeks but now having adjusted and got over the move I can look so objectively at our situation and realise how good we had it...a very humbling and rewarding experience!!

From someone who knew in 3 weeks!! (Although I have been out here umpteen times so didn't need to get used to the culture...or lack thereof!!)
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