Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Old Oct 27th 2007, 10:04 pm
  #16  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 8,913
Nu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really niceNu-Shooz is just really nice
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by sunbather
I don't mean this to sound naff, but do you think that crappy weather we're having in Perth at the moment is having anything to do with it? Whereabouts are you in Perth? Try going for a few good jaunts around and you'll soon find that there's more to Perth than just new estates. We live semi-rural just 20 minutes from Jarrahdale and 15 minutes inland from the beach. Our garden abounds with wildlife.
I agree about the crappy weather. What on earth is going on. I was in UK all Oct and the weather was lovely. No wind or rain. Come back to the windiest weather i have ever seen. It keeps me awake all night...and the rain, when will it stop?
Moving over here to this type of thing does unsettle you alot. The so called tropical all year round climate is a thing of the past. You must also choose your location carefully. One place is so different to the next. Hope things work out for the OP, it is very very early days.
Nu-Shooz is offline  
Old Oct 27th 2007, 10:11 pm
  #17  
Former Resident Visa
 
Jaycee1's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Mornington Peninsula
Posts: 2,887
Jaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Gosh Rachel, I followed your plight from the near beginning. I really hope that everything works out for you.
Sending ((((( HUGS))))) and K
J x
Jaycee1 is offline  
Old Oct 27th 2007, 10:16 pm
  #18  
Here at last!
Thread Starter
 
OzzieNurse's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Perth
Posts: 1,635
OzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond reputeOzzieNurse has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by Jaycee1
Gosh Rachel, I followed your plight from the near beginning. I really hope that everything works out for you.
Sending ((((( HUGS))))) and K
J x
Hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger they say. Thanks for all your comments I am trying to decide what is the best action...either way there are some unsettling times ahead.
OzzieNurse is offline  
Old Oct 27th 2007, 10:45 pm
  #19  
Forum Regular
 
happy4's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: B'ham-Melbourne-Sydney-B'ham
Posts: 104
happy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger they say. Thanks for all your comments I am trying to decide what is the best action...either way there are some unsettling times ahead.
Hi there, I really feel for you. Same thing happened to us when we arrived in Melbourne Sept 06. OH loved it, great job, good prospects. I hated it from day one, I just couldn't let go of everything we had in the UK and longed to go home, especially sad as we have 2 young children. I ended up going back to the UK with our children to clear my head, at the time I could see no other way, though having being here for just 4 months. Luckily we have not sold our house so I was able to go 'home'. Looking back I can't believe things got to that but when your in that awful position ( and it is awful) of wanting to go home, I found I couldn't see the wood for the trees!

I am happy to say I did come back as I wouldn't have been able to look myself straight in the eye if I hadn't. I realise we could be anywhere as long as we are all together as a family, we are very close now. I am enjoying myself more as I'm taking each day as it comes and just want to enjoy the experience we have in front of us. I am not saying we will be here forever (who can?) but I know if we do go back to the UK, it won't be for trying. There are lows, but there are highs, seeing OH complete a charity bike ride (100kms) and seeing the kids enjoy the beach and being happy. Some days I love it, others I don't, I just try to not put pressure on myself.

I hope you can stay longer as I do think the experience is worth it. And it doesn't have to be forever. Maybe your OH could stay till early 08, and then see? Thats only 2 months away, all the best in your decision, it can be very tough and lots of talking needed. My OH was ready to come home to the UK in Jan to us, he hung on here so as not to lose his job. That meant alot to me as it took the pressure off, I wasn't forced into a corner and therefore made my own decision to return, I trust him and know if I become unhappy again, we can go back to the UK. I think it's all about give and take. Good luck x
happy4 is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 1:51 am
  #20  
 
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,560
kez81 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Well Hubby decided today he hates Oz after just two months and want's to go back to the UK. I have no choice in the matter as we have a nearly 4 year old son....all the hard work, struggles and stress getting here are now all for nothing.

I don't want to go back I want to give it year and then return. I have no choice. If he stays he will resent me and be unhappy and if I go back home I will feel the same.

Not a good situation...and not for our son either...he loves it here too. I got him in a great school and he has made friends. I feel so empty. All I have done today is cry.

At least we all still have our health so not so bad. Not looking forward to moving back...
I think your OH is being unfair he should be willing to give it at least a year maybe he will feel different maybe not but at least its giving it a chance after everything you went through to get here.
kez81 is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 2:37 am
  #21  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: SECRET HARBOUR
Posts: 2
BRIDGET ROOT is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by Marmalade
What a difficult situation; I feel for you Yes, two months is way too early to even know how you feel about anything. What has your husband said to staying one year? It really isn't that long in the scheme of things. It will be a date when you can both decide to either stay or leave. A target date not too far in the future (10 months now) could give him the time to figure things out in a more logicial way. I think right now he is probably missing home, but hasn't really given Oz a chance yet...

Whatever is decided please keep us informed. Sending good wishes your way
Hi feel like I know you My son Allen and wife Emma whos son Thomas is at sh
pre school have met you they told me your predicitment. I also live in sh and I do know how your husband feels, I with homesickness we have been in Aus for 18months now and I still havnt truly settled We came out here at the ages of 61 and 63 so a really major upheaval for us but I am determined to give it a real try even if only for Allen Emma and Thomas and my daughter who lives in Sydney. I really think that 2 months is only the begining when we came out we were told not to attempt to go home before 18 months had gone by. I think your husband should persevere for your childs sake as the life style is far healther for a child than in the U.k.

Anyway good luck whatever the outcome if you do stay get in touch and we can have a get together
BRIDGET ROOT is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 4:13 am
  #22  
Former Resident Visa
 
Jaycee1's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Mornington Peninsula
Posts: 2,887
Jaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond reputeJaycee1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger they say. Thanks for all your comments I am trying to decide what is the best action...either way there are some unsettling times ahead.
You know that you will get all the support you need here either way.
Take care,
J x
Jaycee1 is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 5:10 am
  #23  
Just Joined
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 28
martin davidson is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Wow ! as my first post states we are sitting here in clacton on sea in the rain, have just been down morrisons in clacton and everyone was miserable as sin as usual. We came back for friends and family but as we have discovered you assume everyone keeps in touch. We have realised after years that really we are alone in our marriage and have to do what is right for us.I think when you get back as you will disscover friends and family seem different and as i have been told they resent us slighty for leaving them in the first place and our relationship with them seems different.We have been visiting everyone like mad since we got back but havent found the same coming back from them.

We wish we had left our house in perth and come back for a short period and made sure it was the right thing to do.I agree you really should stay as a family as i found out when my wife and son returned without me due to her grandmother illness. I was devestated and even worse when we spoke on the phone crying to each other.We vowed not to be apart again.

Follow your heart but for your child sake he or she will have a better life there in my opinion.p.s if your other half is 40 like me bury him under the patio and i will take his place if someone can forge me passport he he .Good luck to you both. From a damp and cold essex.
martin davidson is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 10:24 am
  #24  
Forum Regular
 
happy4's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: B'ham-Melbourne-Sydney-B'ham
Posts: 104
happy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond reputehappy4 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by martin davidson
Wow ! as my first post states we are sitting here in clacton on sea in the rain, have just been down morrisons in clacton and everyone was miserable as sin as usual. We came back for friends and family but as we have discovered you assume everyone keeps in touch. We have realised after years that really we are alone in our marriage and have to do what is right for us.I think when you get back as you will disscover friends and family seem different and as i have been told they resent us slighty for leaving them in the first place and our relationship with them seems different.We have been visiting everyone like mad since we got back but havent found the same coming back from them.

We wish we had left our house in perth and come back for a short period and made sure it was the right thing to do.I agree you really should stay as a family as i found out when my wife and son returned without me due to her grandmother illness. I was devestated and even worse when we spoke on the phone crying to each other.We vowed not to be apart again.

Follow your heart but for your child sake he or she will have a better life there in my opinion.p.s if your other half is 40 like me bury him under the patio and i will take his place if someone can forge me passport he he .Good luck to you both. From a damp and cold essex.
Hi Martin

Couldn't agree more. I longed for family and friends, hence my return, only realising all you stated above. Good luck x
happy4 is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 10:41 am
  #25  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,993
daunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond reputedaunted has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger they say. Thanks for all your comments I am trying to decide what is the best action...either way there are some unsettling times ahead.
Hey Mrs!! You remember everything you went through to get out there! dont you dare chuck it all away without real carefull consideration. It is all part of his game AGAIN :curse:
ring me
daunted is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 12:49 pm
  #26  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 4,234
brits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Well Hubby decided today he hates Oz after just two months and want's to go back to the UK. I have no choice in the matter as we have a nearly 4 year old son....all the hard work, struggles and stress getting here are now all for nothing.

I don't want to go back I want to give it year and then return. I have no choice. If he stays he will resent me and be unhappy and if I go back home I will feel the same.

Not a good situation...and not for our son either...he loves it here too. I got him in a great school and he has made friends. I feel so empty. All I have done today is cry.

At least we all still have our health so not so bad. Not looking forward to moving back...
Just reading your thread...reading it I dd count my blessings....my husband works away (for the first time ever) so I have felt sorry for myself...as you do....I have come to the conclusion though that life makes you stronger when it throws things at you...you may not feel like that now but in time you will whatever you decide to do.....we have been in Aus for a long time and are planning to return home next year....we all want to return which is good but it has been a long and hard decision Nearly 3 years)...we have given Aus a really good "go" and have had some great times but has never felt like home....we don't just miss our family we are really just going home because we miss things about home..Europe etc....old things...new things....etc we are going back for us....I have learnt it is YOUR family that makes you happy anything else in life is a bonus.....friends good neighbours etc...In all my time in Aus I have met lots of people who have either loved the place or hated it some stayed some have gone.....wives who hate it (I have a friend who hates it and would love to go home but here husband will not even talk about it....I know who she feels so I have an idea for it can only be an idea as until you are in your position nobody truly know what it is like) husbands who hate it but wives love is etc...one old guy I knew wished he had never heard of the place or migration and they have been here for 30 years....I am affraid Migration is more complicated than just getting on that plane.

Did you all want to come out to Aus?....does not really matter in a way because you are all here now....is there anything that your husband misses that you could find to do here.....does he play Football (NOT AFL) ? if so he could find a club here to play for...there are loads....you can make good friends through the clubs....or does he enjoy living near the City....if so move to a suburb closer to Perth......we moved a few times when we first arrived just to find the best place for us...we had no friends or family when we arrived and in a way that was good (but also so hard) as we could pick and choose what we liked rather than moving where friends lived and we not really liked it etc...that was just us though....it was hard but we just did as we pleased. If "down south" does not suit your husband move north of the river....if he misses the countryside move to Settlers Hills (it's newish so lots of families are moving in with fresh starts).....I think and you will have done this until the cows come home....talk and see if there are ways to fix the things he does not like here in Aus.....if he is still determined to go home cannot he go on his own for a while, he will miss you both like mad and realise home is where you and his son is...or he may go home and think the U.K is no longer for him....if that is not going to happen and you love him sometimes we have to sacrificies and go home for a while...see how it goes....if you have a residency permit you can return within five years of it's issue....
All the advice in the world is wonderful but you have to listen to your own story to make your choice....everyone else has a story but it is theirs....so you should be guided by your experiences and feelings and no matter how hard you just have to what is best for you.

Weather is warming up.......we do have winter's in Perth and you have already experienced it.....after a summer it is usually nice to have that change but some people coming over from the U.K are surprised we have that kind of weather....itn lifes plan it does not last long....and the Sunshine lasts for months now.....
Best wishes and take care...
Jackie
brits1 is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 12:52 pm
  #27  
JAJ
Retired
 
JAJ's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 34,649
JAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond reputeJAJ has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by brits1
..or he may go home and think the U.K is no longer for him....if that is not going to happen and you love him sometimes we have to sacrificies and go home for a while...see how it goes....if you have a residency permit you can return within five years of it's issue....
Not true where young children are involved.

If she returns to the U.K. and they subsequently split up, her spouse will be able to prevent the child moving back to Australia (barring a court order).

So the residency visa might turn out to be useless.

On the other hand, if she stays in Australia, then the child cannot be taken back to the U.K. without an Australian court order authorizing this. And an Australian court would usually take the view that the child should not be moved just because one parent wants that.
JAJ is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 12:59 pm
  #28  
Not dead yet
 
Thydney's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: In a world of my own where I know everyone
Posts: 15,042
Thydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond reputeThydney has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Two months FFS I've waited longer than that for a post card
Thydney is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 1:38 pm
  #29  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 4,234
brits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond reputebrits1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by JAJ
Not true where young children are involved.

If she returns to the U.K. and they subsequently split up, her spouse will be able to prevent the child moving back to Australia (barring a court order).

So the residency visa might turn out to be useless.

On the other hand, if she stays in Australia, then the child cannot be taken back to the U.K. without an Australian court order authorizing this. And an Australian court would usually take the view that the child should not be moved just because one parent wants that.
Yes, very true, I just did not think about "splitting up" etc......life I suppose is not black and white but very colourful.....let's hope it does not come to that. What I meant was if they all went back to the U.K and in time they decided it was not meant for them and they came back to Aus, with Permanent Residency they do have five years from the date of stamp to come back to Aus. Maybe the husband just needed to "get his head" round the move...I know people who do not come out straight away who have a Permanent Residency visa some take a few years.....
Jackie
brits1 is offline  
Old Oct 28th 2007, 2:35 pm
  #30  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: florida
Posts: 173
scatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud ofscatty has much to be proud of
Default Re: Reluctantly returning to UK....:(

Originally Posted by OzzieNurse
Well Hubby decided today he hates Oz after just two months and want's to go back to the UK. I have no choice in the matter as we have a nearly 4 year old son....all the hard work, struggles and stress getting here are now all for nothing.

I don't want to go back I want to give it year and then return. I have no choice. If he stays he will resent me and be unhappy and if I go back home I will feel the same.

Not a good situation...and not for our son either...he loves it here too. I got him in a great school and he has made friends. I feel so empty. All I have done today is cry.

At least we all still have our health so not so bad. Not looking forward to moving back...
Oh, boy, how sad for your whole family.

If you have only been abroad for a couple of months, that is far too soon to throw the towel in.

Can you not both meet and find middle ground. Thats what being married is all about, give and take on both sides

He agrees to stick it out for 2 years and if he still feels the same then you agree to return.

He is not being fair to expect you to up sticks after such a short time.
scatty is offline  

Contact Us - Manage Preferences Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Your Privacy Choices -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.