TiddlyPom

I am with JAJ on this one. That is excellent advice.

In marital splits, I have been surprised to learn that the most kind and sane thinking of people can turn into evil ******* who will try anything and everything to get one up on you.. using kids against you, or threatening you regarding money.... It's all a power game.
It happens, regardless and it's a hideous place when it happens to you.

I hope you are following your heart Rach.

Dorothy

Very good advice here from JAJ. You don't have to go anywhere or do anything you don't want to do. You have enough friends here to support you in what ever way you need.

daunted

Rach - will you please ring me I keep leaving messages but no reply - am presuming its cos its inconvenient and not that you are avoiding me Drove past your way yesterday but had no idea where to find you

martin davidson

i agree with everyone do not be blackmailed in to anything that you do not want to do as at the moment you are very valunarable think spelt that right

Baby75

Hi

I hope you are ok please let us all know how you are getting on

guest5234

2 months is to short....but after the initial buzz of the beaches "weather" (sorry it is a myth) wears off , people do start to see what life is like,its not much difference than back home with just as much crime anti-social yobs and long working hours to make ends meet. try and give it at least 12 months though, do not ping pong.

mumof4

[QUOTE=martin davidson;5479404]Wow ! as my first post states we are sitting here in clacton on sea in the rain, have just been down morrisons in clacton and everyone was miserable as sin as usual. We came back for friends and family but as we have discovered you assume everyone keeps in touch. We have realised after years that really we are alone in our marriage and have to do what is right for us.I think when you get back as you will disscover friends and family seem different and as i have been told they resent us slighty for leaving them in the first place and our relationship with them seems different.We have been visiting everyone like mad since we got back but havent found the same coming back from them.

WOW, we moved to the States to be near family only to find they still don't call, and now we hardly speak to my family who have long distance call-itis. now we want to move back to the UK (for other reasons as well), but your point about friends resenting you leaving makes me think. Our friends gave us lovely good bye gifts. We have tried to keep in touch, but if we move back it won't be to the same area, but we'd like to maintain friendships. My DH's been offered his old job back so it does seem like the sensible move, but everything I"m reading here makes sense too!

bluejohn

[QUOTE=mumof4;5701399] Hi mum of four. My oh and I are both British but have lived in Australia (well me any way ) for near on 30 years. we are in England on a work contract , my oh desperately wanted for 2 years. Our home is in OZ and we rent this out. The cruncher is my OH does not want to return.

I havent found people miserable in fact quite the opposite and the nieghbours are brilliant. We have never lived in this part of England here before and I am really enjoying it.
However friends and relatives, well many of them are very narrow and small in their outlook ,and they don't make the effort I seem to do all the work.

Without a doubt Britain as a lot to offer, I am amazed that I can order my groceries on line with no fuss, great if your ,sick ,the weathers crap, too busy etc. Just getting clothes or other goods is great and here service to the customer is great too.

The op doesn't really want to go back to the Uk yet, if at all and they have hardly been here long enough to let the dust settle , I would recommend staying longer. I was in England a week and was so homesick for Australia and of course I have my family ,all born in OZ and live in the four corners of OZ not close together but my heart ached for "home". My oh now says that England is is home not OZ Now I am not unhappy here, in fact I like it but!!!!

I think it is a bit rich that he booked the flights without discussing it with you.
I wish you a peace of mind very soon, me thinks I have the reverse problem.

guest5234

Affair alert affair alert

busterboy

Your mind is working in mysterious ways!

daunted

the mind works in mysterious ways!!!!!!

s-jmelbournewannabe

Racheal for gods sake, open your eyes love. x S-j

Pamela 1

Bluejohn's comment on friends and relatives being narrow etc, is right on. If they have not travelled much we have usually found English people to be narrow and stuffy in their thinking. Once you have travelled and lived overseas your horizons have broadened. It makes a difference.

We were in Uk for a number of weeks in September and had previously made contact with some friends in our home town where we spent a few days and who said we should meet up. When I phoned them there was no mention of getting together, just content to talk on the phone. We did enjoy the company of some cousins not seen in a number of years.

If we go back to Uk after being away over 30 years we will go to another part of the country and start afresh. We are used to being just the two of us so that is no problem and will make friends along the way as and when.

yellowbrickroad

Hi here is my two penneth worth,

All children deserve the right of access to both parents, father and mother. As a mother you would prefer your children to live in Oz, as a father he beleives the UK. If you stay in Oz, you know its going to be hard emotionally, thats not to say you are not strong enough to cope with it. When your children grow older they will always want to know about their father, being a single parent isnt easy, being a blended family is not easy. I can assure you there is no easy way to deal with this.

IF,and thats a big IF, I were were you, I would go back with him to try it out, see what happens. If you dont like it, you can always return to Oz cant you. What have you got to loose? If you are a strong person you will always be able to sort it, or manage it. As a woman, often, its the emotions that get to us. If you give it a shot, return with him and it dont work out, sorting the emotions for you is gonna be a bit easier, cos, in your conscience you gave it a go, and if you have to pick up the pieces, you surely, just have to manage it by returning Good luck

yellowbrickroad

[B]He will likely have to pay child support regardless[/B].

[/B]Yes he will, but whether he pays it is another question.

I had a two year battle for child support payments in Oz, and belive me i would not want to go there again... its emotionaly and mentally draining and I did not get what was owed to me in the slighest. Some fathers, can and do dodge it, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Being a single parent is not easy, either financially or mentally. Being a blended family has also problems.

My advice to anyone is,.... try and sort it out..... tolerance of others may seem bloody hard in the short term, but in the long term it pays.....