chris and farideh

You made me laugh so much with your kevin, OH kept doing it with his new satnav going the wrong way, so Jane tells him to take the next turning, guess what the thing stop working now we only had it for a month.

OzzieNurse

Hubby has booked our flights back for 14th March.

Still don't want to go back but if I dont it will mean the children will suffer and I can't have that weight on my shoulders.

OzzieNurse

Oh and Mandy. Can you text me so I know its you when you call my mobile. Next time will answer it, unless I am at work that is!

I have 22nd-30th off work. Should be able to meet up in that time somewhere?
Feeling fat and frumpy....can't even drown my sorrows!

moneypenny20

When's your baby due? How can he just go and book the flights? Obviously you want a quiet time and no stress but seriously, that is taking the pee. Why would the children suffer? They'll only suffer if you and him make things hard for them, how old are they? Why should you suffer? Sorry, I think booking the flights back before you've even found a rental and actually had the baby is out of order. A quiet life is one thing. Lying down and letting him walk all over the situation is another.

MaggieM

So sorry to hear this Rachael.

This guy is really yanking your strings.

He is a beast of the highest magnitude.

Has he found a job yet, or are you the sole provider as well as being stressed out of your mind by his antics?

I feel so angry that he is treating you like this, AGAIN.

Your little boy must have suffered when your OH pulled his stunts back in the UK, he's suffering now because of the stunt he's pulling now. When you have two children they will both be suffering just because of their Dad's stunts, whether you're here or back in UK.

Please, for your sake, stand up to this guy and tell him you need to spend more time here. At least wait until your baby is born and then look at things again.

I'm sure that JAJ mentioned earlier in the thread about difficulties you may have if you return to the UK and then split up. Your OH could stop you fulfilling your dream for a very long time just by saying he doesn't want his children to come back out here. Or are you going to spend the time until your PR expires trying to convince him to come back out and give Australia another chance. Is he worth all of that?

Surely, if he got a job he could support his family while you were on maternity leave?

I know that your friend is in Perth now. I hope that you get the chance to meet up with her and talk things through. Maybe she will help you to see things in a different light and be there to support you and give you strength during the coming months.

All the very best,

Maggie

brits1

You must really love your husband and if so no matter what anybody says about him unless you start to think of him as some of these people on this thread do you will never leave him. We all love each other differently and we all let oursevles be treated differently thats life. I do not know what your husband has done in the past and I have only read this thread a couple of times but if you go with him and deep down you must want to stay with him to leave with him... then good luck and best wishes to you...I really,really mean that....I hope it all works out for you both.......would I stay or go if it were me?....well I live my life and you live yours, thats not for me to say, nobody can really unless they lived your life....once again..good luck...have a healthy baby then work on the rest.....
Take care and the very best of wishes
Jackie

dunroving

Did you agree to this first? If not, I'd say this: Just because he booked flights doesn't mean you have to go ...

moneypenny20

Would you have had the baby before the flight?

Obviously no one knows your relationship with your husband but saying you have to go with him for the sake of the children is not right. If you truly love him then it would be irrelevant, you'd go with him. If you are saying you have to go because of the happiness of the kids then it sounds to me you are trying to hang on to your marriage because you think you should, not because you want to.

If you go back, things will not be the same and from where I'm sitting, it sounds like you will, in all probability, split up anyway. Your children need two parents who love THEM regardless of the parents relationship. In the short and long term a child with two happy separated parents is better than two unhappy together parents.

Good luck to you but please don't think you only have one path to follow, you don't, you can go anyway you want. You are strong enough and you wouldn't be alone.

Baby75

No need for that every one entitled to feel a little let down by were they live or fed up and want a better life just as much as you are entitled to love were you live there is no need to go insulting someone because they don't share the same thoughts :mad

Yoong

Hi Rachael,
I am wondering whether your hospital offers counselling services for
their employees? My hospital offers 12 private professional counselling sessions as part of the staff wellness program.
Just a thought, if you could find out such benefits are being offered
by your hospital.
Take care.
Yoong

martin davidson

to be quite honest i would try to stop worring, christmas is round the corner you have got to think about your son or daughter that you have now, our life is not mapped out its what you make it, things may be different in the new year, personally we were not in your position, but we lived in perth twice, our life was like being on a roller coaster,and it was my wife that wanted to come back, and now looking back we do not regret it at all,just put it down to a great experience, whether you decide to stay or go the grass is always greener on the other side, just keep your chin up, merry xmas

waterlooo

Both of you should consider staying for a few years, get Australian citizenship for yourselves and your son, then move back to the UK. You both still have the opportunity to come back again later if you wish. And your son will thank you for securing him Australian citizenship

TiddlyPom

Oh my god, a whole run on sentence of sound bites ... Have you been taking lessons off Tony Blair?

Great advice regardless.

martin davidson

no we didnt take advice from tony ha ha, it is the hardest decision in the world just packing up and leaving friends and family behind,being honest at the time when we got our 4yr visa we were so happy it was a lovely feeling just getting on that plane and not looking back,but circumstances change,we tryed it twice,but when we came back the second time,life was bleak,we came back for all the wrong reasons family etc,long story but we do not speak to half of our family, shame but thats life looking back we wished that we could of stuck it out,had a beautiful home in perth,pool the lot but our visa was too hard,it took us along time to work and save our money and the thought of loosing it all was too risky,but every story is different,our son would like to move back out there in a couple of yrs,he is doing a welding and fabrication course,he has just got 3 distinctions for his work we have told him keep it up and he will have no problem at all getting into oz. its amazing the stories i read on here as we can relate to alot of them,we gave it 2yrs for us that was enough,but never say never who nos what the future holds,personally if i was in ozzie nurses shoes i would stick it out get my citizenship and then see what happens from there,we were fortunate to buy a house when we came back,but some simply cannot afford it as house prices have gone stupid over here,for a typical 3 bed detached you are looking at £210k and we live in essex.i do get days when i wish that we had stayed but our life was always up and down,never had so many emotions cryed alot laughed alot typical pomme but life is too short you have got to do what is best for you ,we can all give advice but at the end of the day it is what is best for the individual or family,and some times you can make the wrong decision without thinking about it properly,just have to way up the pros and cons, anyway hope you all have a fab xmas where ever you are.

JAJ

Forgive me for sounding blunt but this kind of blackmail indicates that you have already separated by any reasonable definition of the term.

So - the real question for you and your children is would you rather be separated in Australia or the United Kingdom? You do not have to get on that plane.

He will likely have to pay child support regardless.

One more thing - have you cancelled things like joint credit cards? If not, you should do so immediately. At the same time, get any funds you have out of joint bank accounts and into your own.

Giving in to an ultimatum like this is not going to lead to happiness for you and your children, 99% of the time.