cosmicjunkie

Yes, you are right.... I will embrace this new adventure and see how it goes.
Thanks!

cosmicjunkie

I am getting married- that is why I'm moving there. I'm quite looking forward to the change of scenery. I have lived in Milan for twenty years and I hardly ever move out of the city due to work and being so exhausted that I can't be bothered. Therefore it probably won't be much different from the type of life I'm already living. Anyway, I have to go into this with a positive attitude otherwise I'm screwed right from the beginning!

sdbritguy

I'll trade you Milan for San Diego! Can't wait to go back to Italy.

If you start to miss Italian food, the closet we've found to comparable Italian cuisine is Alexanders on 30th in South Park.

Congratulations! Good attitude, you be the decision maker

Sorry for the hijack UKBritExpat.

bandrui

Me too... love Italy that is. Some people go the Uk and bring back souvenirs; I go back and bring back parmigiano reggiano at a better price than we pay here!

citizenmarie

A great post. I can totally relate (as they say)

I'm in SF. Over the years I've had the standard 2 weeks off a year, then about 5 years ago I went into a corporate job that gave me an unheard of 20 days off plus lots of bank holidays. (At first I didn't know what to do with "all" that time off. But it was so-ooo stressful being in the job! That was how they kept people: holidays and benefits. I feel 20 days should be the bare minimum tho.

Now I'm in another corp. job that has 18 days PTO and far fewer bank holidays -- and that includes your SICK days, isn't that, well... sick?! Feels like I'm straining to get from weekend to weekend. Job even more crazy and stressful than the last.

Anyway, I'm quitting soon, after only 4 months. I can't do it anymore. For me, the only other option, as you mentioned, is to go contract and have more freedom. I'll pay for minimum benefits and hope for the best. Makes me angry that stuff... I'm kinda winging it as I don't have a contract yet. But I have to leave as I've had all manner of "mysterious" aches and pains since working there, not to mention the depression!

That's the irony of it all -- if companies gave you more time off you would be healthier, and work better and more happily.

miami078

I cant believe I am in the same situation. I moved here a year ago. I usd to work for the NHS so same as some people here I was used to the lovely chunk of holidays which enabled me to come over to the USA and visit in-laws. My situatiion is slightly different as personal issues are playing a part in being over here. I was meant to come over and start college, but as my husband cant find work I was literally working within two weeks of stepping of the plane from the UK. Although I recognise how lucky I am to be working, I have gone from working in a job I kind of liked, lots of friends to a corporate job where yes the days are lonely - silent cubicle city, people are far to quick to point the finger to absolve themselves from responsibility and where the ten days holiday you have to accrue (so surely doesnt that mean everybody is trying to take it all at the same time the end of the year)?

Although we have achieved alot over here in terms of practical things, learning to drive, finding a flat, a job and my husband is contract working as a lecturer...I just dont feel we have a semblance of a 'life' over here. Not only is the culture different which I was prepared to accept but in terms of where we live (we came from livinv in the city - to the suburbs of new jersey). There is nothing to do! We cant walk out and wander around the shops and most importantly we dont have any friends over here. Now I didnt I didnt think this would be too much of a problem as I wasnt that sociable but now I realize I had so many friends I have left behind its really affecting me. I forgot how much I would go out.

In short I am contemplating moving back although similar to some posts on here I am worried that I would be making the wrong decision and that the whole visa process would be all for nought. I was interested however to hear somebody mentioned gaining their citizenship first so if in the future they wanted to move back they wouldnt have to go through the process again. Is this really a option? I hadnt really contemplated doing it (especially since I have a new found love of british culture and pride since being over here) but it may be an option. Is it 5 years you have to be here.

The msot difficult part is my husband doesnt want to leave. He seems to think in terms of employment it would be much harder for him to find work (and he may be right) although my argument is its not working here for him either. I am wondering if I should wait to see if we can afford for me to return to college which was my plan all along and if maybe its the job I have been in that has given me a bad spin on the USA. I guess a benefit of becoming a citizen would men the government jobs I was looking at for the future would be open to me over here - but does it mean you are a citizen of both the USA and the UK? i wouldnt want to give up my UK citizenship?

It is strange as people think you move over here and you holiday in florida, miami, las vegas on your weekends ...when as mentioned in earlier posts you just dont have the time - work comes first and is taken very seriosuly. Now dont get me wrong I take my work seriously too but I believe in balance and I just dont feel I have this here at all.

I would be interesting in learning if this changes depending on which state you live in? we are in New jersey and I have thought about moving south e.g carolinas but I dont want to keep moving around the country trying to find happiness if its the same everywhere?

I have decided to take my first trip back to the UK since I moved here. I thought this way I could remove myself from the situation and look at it with fresh eyes and also see how I feel about being in the UK. (5 of my 10 days will be used up already so no more holidays now until December....that cant be right can it)!

Any comments would be really appreciated.

sdbritguy

You can have dual citizenship UK and USA.

citizenmarie

Just bare in mind that when you get your US citizenship you'll have to file taxes with the US for the rest of you life -- by law -- I found this out after getting dual citizenship: forever tied to the US now. Not really sure how they enforce that tho, until you need to return to the US of course. (But as you'll see from lots of threads on this topic here: no, you wouldn't get taxed twice!)

Lonely silent cubicle city -- love that. Describes it perfectly. Just posted last night about similar. I think it's corporate life only though, and I need to get out soon. I have had jobs for smaller companies where there is actual human contact and friendliness... I just have to remember that .. it's been so long. I think if I change my work life things will look a lot less grim. Just think how much time you spend at work, and if it's miserable...

Jerseygirl

If you've had a green card for several years you have to file US taxes anyway...not forever but for a considerable number of years.

easty1976

No worries for me! I think we all have a tendency to do it sometimes, however I felt it was unjustified this time. Some posters deserve it sometimes particularly when they post constant dribble or are generally abusive to people. I am glad you recognised you perhaps over-reacted, I think somehow I sensed you are not usually like that and thats why I posted what I did.

Rebster

This thread really strikes a chord for me!

There is so much of this country that we would love to see, but my measley 10 days of holiday/sick time per year make it nearly impossible. I remember before we moved looking at a map thinking "Las Vegas is so close, we could drive there for a weekend!" HA!

We finally took a trip back to the UK last year for 2 weeks - as I only had 1 week of paid holiday available that meant I had to take 1 week unpaid. Costly holiday but well worth it. That was when we decided to start making plans to move back. It's going to take a while but at least we have plans in motion.

I also agree with the poster who mentioned not having close friends here. It's been very difficult for us to find people that we could really connect with.

Looking forward to the quality of life we are presently missing out on!

HumphreyC

New England is a pretty good location for being close to cool places. I went down to New York City the other day and was surprised at how close it actually was. Whilst I wouldn't want to live there - and I have been swept up in the Boston Vs New York rivalry - it is an undeniably awesome place and a good compromise for me having previously been near London.

You can get out to the coastline pretty easily (Cape Cod & the Islands, Maine, Rhode Island) and I'm also near to the mountains and lakes of Vermont and New Hampshire. There is also a half decent ski area about 20 mins down the road. You've got huge state parks, historic towns and cities and beautiful forested countryside.....O.K this is beginning to sound like some kind of tourist ad. On the flip side, it gets bloody freezing in the winter and though I work from home I spend a large amount of time carving my mother in law and wife's cars out from under huge amounts of ice and snow. Some of the accents are pretty ridiculous and the infrastructure in this town is crumbling back into the stone age. I do miss the UK a bit but - through an extremely jammy sequence of events - I managed to get more vacation time here than I got in the UK so I'm planning an extended visit for this summer.

I took a real dislike to Milan last time I was there (aside from the cathedral). Thought it was quite an ugly city outside of the main square; though I may have just been in a pissy mood. However it is right near Lake Como which has to be up there as one of the the most beautiful places on the planet.

robin1234

I agree with a lot of this. I've lived in inner suburban Boston for several years (1976-1979, 1991-1995) and in seriously rural northern New York for many years (1995-present.)
New York City is a wonderful place. I could live there in retirement; but only if I were wealthier than I am!
One of my problems with America is how hard it is to get to places compared to the UK. Basically, it comes down to lack of train services. For instance, having lived in NYS for 16 years, I've only been to NYC three times. (When we lived in Boston or England, we were able to get to NYC more frequently... it is my wife's home town.)
We are 350 miles north of NYC. This is how we travelled on our recent visit;

• Nine-seater scheduled flight from our local airport to Albany
• Taxi (expensive) from Albany airport to Albany train station
• Amtrak from Albany to Penn station (excellent, frequent service)

This took all day, was relatively costly, and was exhausting. The nine-seater is OK but not for everyone. OK, we could have flown on a regular non-stop to NYC; but our airport would have been a 130+ mile drive from home! And then, there would have been a long trip in to NYC from one of the airports..
Yes, Cape Cod & the islands are good -- our daughter lives on Cape Cod, so we go there two or three times a year (it's a 400 mile drive for us, or we take another of those 9-seater planes!!) But in general, the coast, for beaches or for walking, is far less accessible than in England. Parking is at a premium here, and the preponderance of private property makes the visitor feel very much like a second-class citizen; and I never feel like that when I'm walking on the coast-path in England.

Pistolpete2

If I lived in San Diego I think I would be spending a good deal of time in La Jolla, or has that gone too pricey? I know it's some of the most expensive real estate there is.

Pistolpete2

When you think that in Little Old England there are multi-destination international airports in:

Newcastle, Teesside, Leeds, East Midlands, Birmingham, Liverpool, Manchester, Bristol, Bournemouth, Newquay, Exeter, Southampton, Luton, Stansted, LHR/LGW, London City, Norwich and Kent (Manston), many of which offer low-cost travel to vacation centres in Spain and France in particular.

In addition,

Major business centres such as Bristol, Newcastle, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds, Leicester, Nottingham and Sheffield are easily commutable (twenty minutes or less on a good day) on certain sides from some of the most beautiful country in England.

It does help to explain why the amount of employment leave available is a big issue for expats, particularly in the US.