Sally Redux

I think the difference is that Chris is happy where he is living, you are just picking away at the same old things you don't like. What's the point?

Zen10

Chris is in the honeymoon phase. I'll wait till he's been there two or three years before I make a call on that. As for part deux, my recent trip back to Britain unearthed many things I wasn't expecting, and I'm using this forum to work through that. I did not post a "Vs" post comparing the two places, as I knew it would end in the usual slanging match. The reason there is confrontation is because those who have chosen to return to Britain do not want to face the downside, whereas I am more than happy to talk about Australia's negative aspects, and have posted many myself.

Sally Redux

Well good luck with it, personally I think you're going to drive yourself as well as other people nuts.

Zen10

I've got what I wanted now, I think. I knew it was a long-shot. It's just impossible to get most people to be honest about the negative aspects of where they live, so it's really hard to learn about a place's problems from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

I've been very honest with people about Australia's downside, but I've found others less forthcoming about being honest and criticising where they have chosen to live. My conclusion is no more than I already knew. Australia offers a higher material standard of living, but this cannot compensate for being divided from family. This is the expat's curse.

Bud the Wiser

I used to work in a residential community home with education in the UK. What would formerly be described as an approved school. After leaving many of the kids would return to the school to pay a visit. These visits would eventually become less frequent. There were two reasons for this, either a) the kids had eventually settled and didn't need the support of the community home or b) they had graduated to a young offenders institution ( borstal ).

I see a comparison with those who have returned to the UK ( and perhaps in the early stages of emigrating from the UK ). Those who have finally settled post less frequently having no need for the support and reassurance that this forum can offer or b) they have found that their return has been more difficult than they expected and don't post at all.

Funny old world.

TheEmperorIsNaked

You compel response, you really do, and today I'd rather not do it, but these forums move fast, so...

Utterly absurd! You are now throwing a tanty! I'll be really cynical here: that is a monumental generalisation!, considering BE has a large m/ship and has been around for a good whiley! If you consider this poster to be 'the most biased on BE'-Holey Moley!! Where have you been!

NO. What you do is put enough negativity about Australia to 'show balance'. You are utterly contemptuous of the UK referring to 'everyone feels that/filthy streets covered in dog crap' (not verbatim). There are actually some streets in the UK sans dog poo you know.....

Ahhhh Zender! You have no idea how much of a cynic I am! You have no clue about concerns I already have, though I've hinted at them. I have also made it clear that I return for the countryside and temperature, not for the people (should I have added 'and not for the system' to appease you?).

Just to make it clear: It is damned annoying when people put down everything UK,-and for me personally to speak very publicly about things I don't like here, is something I am uncomfortable doing. People do that though. Each to his own. What I strongly object to is the way you deny what is so transparently obvious.

I said you were in the 'third category'. You insist that you are being balanced when it is clear that you are anything but. You have fooled no one. What is so sad is that you appear to be doing this to justify your decision to stay in Australia. It seems to have really embittered you; your need to elevate your decision by pressing down on everything UK. And you are using your considerable intellect to condescend to other posters as if you know best 'because you are balanced'. No kiddo; you are very biased and embittered it seems, about your decision to stay.


You see nothing patronising in this? 'Before you make a call on that'??

,,,,this from the arbiter of all things honest? You see it as your role?

Indeed it is. I have found on more than one site that ex-pats are more than willing to post when their return has not been to positive. They feel the need to reiterate their decision to leave in the first place was correct!
I don't blame them for that at all. It is a valuable tool in the decisions that others are taking.

I wouldn't be alone in getting the irrits if 'my' country (US/UK/Canada et al) is repeatedly criticised.
However, I utterly loathe it when it is denied or dressed up as something else.

chris955

Well it is unfortunate you didnt visit the many wonderful places in the country. You only seem to have seen bad wherever you went, the traffic, litter, playgrounds, dog poo, rude people etc etc etc. I wont apologise for not seeing the same negatives as you. I read some of your posts and wonder what country you are talking about to be honest. You will do what is best for you and I have the feeling that staying where you are is best.

chris955

Thanks Sally, it almost seems a bitter pill for some and I dont see why. We are extremely happy here, our kids absolutely love it and we cant imagine being anywhere else. My wife talked to me the other day about the 1 year honeymoon period and she went through it badly but is now very happy indeed. She has a great job with a 'commute' down beautiful country lanes, my 'job' is going well, our kids are thriving. We dont see the streets paved with litter or the huge traffic jams or minefield kids playgrounds. That isnt to say those things arent elsewhere in the country, they clearly are just as they are in Australia but they arent where we are.
I think deep down people know where they want to be, no country suits everyone and there is no point trying to come up with excuses not to be somewhere.

Bud the Wiser

Could you give me a link to those sites? I like to take on board as many opinions, facts and information as possible.

Much appreciated. - Thanks

dunroving

If you can find my posts from about March 2007 to mid-2009 or so, you'll see some such posts. I eventually figured if I can't change my situation I need to change my attitude, so I did. I won't be staying in the Glasgow area forever, but until I can move I am making the most of a difficult situation.

I have read several posts on BE that recount difficulties settling back in the UK, and several people have returned to where they came from. These tend to be buried within threads rather than being thread topics, though. Bluegrass Lass and her husband are two I can think of that struggled when they came back and went back to the US. They are now looking at coming back to the UK again, I think.

The whole perception vs. reality discussion is lacking insight into the fact that perception is reality for most people.

Some would like to put it all down to the glass half-full/glass half-empty concept, to the point where it almost becomes a competition to see who can make themselves out to be a more positive person than someone else (if you think the UK is crap, then you must simply be a sad person), but it's a combination of both. I would challenge anyone to move to a seedy area of Glasgow and remain positive. It's the reality of the situation in combination with your ability to find the positive that makes you happy or not in where you live.

Bud the Wiser

Thanks, I have followed your journey and those of several others such as Easterdawn ( sp ) over the years, trying to pick out what, if any, circumstances or experiences would/could relate to my eventual return. As with most things circumstances, of other returnees, my personal situation, and current affairs are constantly changing. What could have been relevant to me back in 2007 may not be relevant now and vice versa. For example, I never realised what a pull having grandchildren would be with regards to remaining in the US.

So here I am, several years later still trying to take on board as much information as possible. Still undecided. Still weighing up the pros and cons.

So if 'The Emperor is naked' could post those links I would much appreciate it.

I couldn't agree more with the part of your post that I've highlighted. Well said.

TheEmperorIsNaked

Sent you a pm. I am unwilling to put up a link to other similar sites to BE in a post, even if it allowed.

TheEmperorIsNaked

Bingo!

That's it: the glass analogy. And it won't stop I'm afraid; it's the nature of us wee beasties!

Bud the Wiser

Link received - thanks.

chris955

Always been a glass half full type, my wife is a little more half empty but that has changed a bit in recent times.