Panic attack

Old Mar 26th 2021, 10:48 am
  #1  
UK spouse visa
Thread Starter
 
movingtolakes's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 156
movingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nice
Default Panic attack

Hi

I've been on here for a few years, my wife's FLR is coming up I'm working on it. I've never had anything like this but last night I had a complete meltdown about her renewal, i was literally in full panic attack mode, breathing etc it was awful.

Her application is fairly straight forward, no issues but I just kept thinking what if they refuse it, we live here, our kids and schools are here, our home is here, we have nothing anywhere else, we have been together for 12 years and married for 7. I just can't fathom the consequences if it was somehow refused, why would any government refuse it and breakup my family and destroy us i am so scared and maybe it's the pandemic that has affected me but I'm really struggling with the stress of this application more than the initial one. If they refused it she has nowhere to go, her family are abroad, what is she supposed to just go and live with them apart from her children and husband?? There are no flights anyway, god this is awful

I have no reason to believe it would ever be refused but the media circus over covid has just really gotten to me that i should always expect the worst

I'm not looking for sympathy I'm a grown man supporting my family, it just scares me how overwhelmed i am at the moment and i just wondered if anyone can help me get over this anxiety

sorry
movingtolakes is offline  
Old Mar 26th 2021, 11:10 am
  #2  
Concierge
 
spouse of scouse's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,100
spouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Panic attack

Nothing to be sorry for mate. You're right, the media coverage of the pandemic, as well as every other bit of bad news it chucks at us every 5 minutes, can wear even the most level-headed of us down at times.

First things first. If your wife meets all the requirements for FLR, she will get it. It's just a 'tick the box' application and providing the back up evidence for the tick. If it would help, you could start a thread on the UK Immi, Visas and Citizenship sub-forum and ask as many questions as you like. It's what BE's here for.

Also, please don't be too hard on yourself. As capable, strong and intelligent as you are, you're not a robot. Things get to us. We don't have full control of our brains, our thoughts, our reactions. Panic attacks don't mean there's something wrong with you, even though they're horrible and frightening things to experience. They just mean we're temporarily overwhelmed by something, they're a manifestation of anxiety.

Sometimes they end when the stressor is removed (in your case, your wife getting her FLR). Sometimes we need to have a chat to our GP about what's happening, especially if they become more frequent or are having a detrimental effect on your life. But always, always we need to talk about how we're feeling to someone we trust, we need to remember that this isn't a permanent state, and we need to be kind to ourselves.

Edit: I've just been chatting with my sister, she had panic attacks last year during a pretty shit time. She and I have the same GP, one of the most highly regarded doctors in Perth, and the breathing exercise she advised was the same as the one on this NHS site:
Breathe inwards through your nose, slowly, deeply and gently while counting to 5 (in your head of course )
Then breathe out slowly, deeply and gently through your mouth, again counting to 5.
https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-l...-panic-attacks

This did help a lot in getting her getting her through her panic attacks.



Last edited by spouse of scouse; Mar 26th 2021 at 11:34 am.
spouse of scouse is offline  
Old Mar 26th 2021, 1:02 pm
  #3  
UK spouse visa
Thread Starter
 
movingtolakes's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 156
movingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nice
Default Re: Panic attack

Thankyou 'spouseofscouse' I'll try the breathing exercise if it happens again. Will see how it's going after the renewal and pandemic have eventually passed and maybe speak to someone if it's not got better

Thanks also for the perspective, makes sense i am sure it will be fine and I'll probably start a thread yes because I've already written down a few points I'm unsure about the application, that's my plan this weekend, lock myself in a room and go through the FLR stuff then hopefully i'll feel more organized

cheers
movingtolakes is offline  
Old Mar 26th 2021, 1:57 pm
  #4  
 
Lion in Winter's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 72,375
Lion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Panic attack

Originally Posted by movingtolakes
Thankyou 'spouseofscouse' I'll try the breathing exercise if it happens again. Will see how it's going after the renewal and pandemic have eventually passed and maybe speak to someone if it's not got better

Thanks also for the perspective, makes sense i am sure it will be fine and I'll probably start a thread yes because I've already written down a few points I'm unsure about the application, that's my plan this weekend, lock myself in a room and go through the FLR stuff then hopefully i'll feel more organized

cheers

We know all about panic attacks in this family. They are real, not 'all in your head', and it's chemistry - ie there is a real, physical thing going on in your body, as real as any other ailment. I have no expertise on the FLR stuff, but SOS knows more and it sounds as though you will be fine.

I would second the breathing recommendation.

Second, try to 'get outside it' if you can - ie try to remember to say to yourself "this is a panic attack, it's coming from inside me, not because the FLR is actually in danger of not happening".

Third, try sitting or lying somewhere comfortable and quiet and closing your eyes. Too many stimuli can make the attacks more difficult. A well meaning person standing next to you saying "calm down" is not helpful!

Fourth, ground yourself in the present reality. Get your hands/body on something solid, like the floor, wall, couch, and focus on the touch of this unmoving, solid thing that is real and focus on it, rather than on where your mind is going.


You have my sympathy. I know it's horrible but it sounds like the application will be fine and so will you when it's done. Second a chat with the GP though. No need to go through this stuff alone.

Lion in Winter is offline  
Old Mar 28th 2021, 5:38 pm
  #5  
UK spouse visa
Thread Starter
 
movingtolakes's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 156
movingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nice
Default Re: Panic attack

Cheers mate, i'm alright today - just about to post my FLR checklist and a couple questions as a new thread in the visa section of this forum,....
movingtolakes is offline  
Old May 14th 2021, 4:00 am
  #6  
UK spouse visa
Thread Starter
 
movingtolakes's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 156
movingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nicemovingtolakes is just really nice
Default Re: Panic attack

Hi All

just wanted to share that yesterday we had the FLR approved within 1 hour of having the biometrics an email came through , I did super priority - worth every penny to get a decision as we were driving home! Thanks for the moral support, onwards and upwards!
movingtolakes is offline  
Old May 14th 2021, 7:16 am
  #7  
Concierge
 
spouse of scouse's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,100
spouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond reputespouse of scouse has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Panic attack

Originally Posted by movingtolakes
Hi All

just wanted to share that yesterday we had the FLR approved within 1 hour of having the biometrics an email came through , I did super priority - worth every penny to get a decision as we were driving home! Thanks for the moral support, onwards and upwards!
Congratulations! So pleased for you.
spouse of scouse is offline  
Old May 14th 2021, 11:48 am
  #8  
 
Lion in Winter's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: East Seaxe
Posts: 72,375
Lion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond reputeLion in Winter has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Panic attack

Originally Posted by movingtolakes
Hi All

just wanted to share that yesterday we had the FLR approved within 1 hour of having the biometrics an email came through , I did super priority - worth every penny to get a decision as we were driving home! Thanks for the moral support, onwards and upwards!

Well done, congratulations.
Lion in Winter is offline  

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.