Panic attack

Old Mar 26th 2021, 10:48 am
  #1  
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Default Panic attack

Hi

I've been on here for a few years, my wife's FLR is coming up I'm working on it. I've never had anything like this but last night I had a complete meltdown about her renewal, i was literally in full panic attack mode, breathing etc it was awful.

Her application is fairly straight forward, no issues but I just kept thinking what if they refuse it, we live here, our kids and schools are here, our home is here, we have nothing anywhere else, we have been together for 12 years and married for 7. I just can't fathom the consequences if it was somehow refused, why would any government refuse it and breakup my family and destroy us i am so scared and maybe it's the pandemic that has affected me but I'm really struggling with the stress of this application more than the initial one. If they refused it she has nowhere to go, her family are abroad, what is she supposed to just go and live with them apart from her children and husband?? There are no flights anyway, god this is awful

I have no reason to believe it would ever be refused but the media circus over covid has just really gotten to me that i should always expect the worst

I'm not looking for sympathy I'm a grown man supporting my family, it just scares me how overwhelmed i am at the moment and i just wondered if anyone can help me get over this anxiety

sorry
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Old Mar 26th 2021, 11:10 am
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Default Re: Panic attack

Nothing to be sorry for mate. You're right, the media coverage of the pandemic, as well as every other bit of bad news it chucks at us every 5 minutes, can wear even the most level-headed of us down at times.

First things first. If your wife meets all the requirements for FLR, she will get it. It's just a 'tick the box' application and providing the back up evidence for the tick. If it would help, you could start a thread on the UK Immi, Visas and Citizenship sub-forum and ask as many questions as you like. It's what BE's here for.

Also, please don't be too hard on yourself. As capable, strong and intelligent as you are, you're not a robot. Things get to us. We don't have full control of our brains, our thoughts, our reactions. Panic attacks don't mean there's something wrong with you, even though they're horrible and frightening things to experience. They just mean we're temporarily overwhelmed by something, they're a manifestation of anxiety.

Sometimes they end when the stressor is removed (in your case, your wife getting her FLR). Sometimes we need to have a chat to our GP about what's happening, especially if they become more frequent or are having a detrimental effect on your life. But always, always we need to talk about how we're feeling to someone we trust, we need to remember that this isn't a permanent state, and we need to be kind to ourselves.

Edit: I've just been chatting with my sister, she had panic attacks last year during a pretty shit time. She and I have the same GP, one of the most highly regarded doctors in Perth, and the breathing exercise she advised was the same as the one on this NHS site:
Breathe inwards through your nose, slowly, deeply and gently while counting to 5 (in your head of course )
Then breathe out slowly, deeply and gently through your mouth, again counting to 5.
https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-l...-panic-attacks

This did help a lot in getting her getting her through her panic attacks.



Last edited by spouse of scouse; Mar 26th 2021 at 11:34 am.
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Old Mar 26th 2021, 1:02 pm
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Default Re: Panic attack

Thankyou 'spouseofscouse' I'll try the breathing exercise if it happens again. Will see how it's going after the renewal and pandemic have eventually passed and maybe speak to someone if it's not got better

Thanks also for the perspective, makes sense i am sure it will be fine and I'll probably start a thread yes because I've already written down a few points I'm unsure about the application, that's my plan this weekend, lock myself in a room and go through the FLR stuff then hopefully i'll feel more organized

cheers
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Old Mar 26th 2021, 1:57 pm
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Default Re: Panic attack

Originally Posted by movingtolakes View Post
Thankyou 'spouseofscouse' I'll try the breathing exercise if it happens again. Will see how it's going after the renewal and pandemic have eventually passed and maybe speak to someone if it's not got better

Thanks also for the perspective, makes sense i am sure it will be fine and I'll probably start a thread yes because I've already written down a few points I'm unsure about the application, that's my plan this weekend, lock myself in a room and go through the FLR stuff then hopefully i'll feel more organized

cheers

We know all about panic attacks in this family. They are real, not 'all in your head', and it's chemistry - ie there is a real, physical thing going on in your body, as real as any other ailment. I have no expertise on the FLR stuff, but SOS knows more and it sounds as though you will be fine.

I would second the breathing recommendation.

Second, try to 'get outside it' if you can - ie try to remember to say to yourself "this is a panic attack, it's coming from inside me, not because the FLR is actually in danger of not happening".

Third, try sitting or lying somewhere comfortable and quiet and closing your eyes. Too many stimuli can make the attacks more difficult. A well meaning person standing next to you saying "calm down" is not helpful!

Fourth, ground yourself in the present reality. Get your hands/body on something solid, like the floor, wall, couch, and focus on the touch of this unmoving, solid thing that is real and focus on it, rather than on where your mind is going.


You have my sympathy. I know it's horrible but it sounds like the application will be fine and so will you when it's done. Second a chat with the GP though. No need to go through this stuff alone.

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Old Mar 28th 2021, 5:38 pm
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Default Re: Panic attack

Cheers mate, i'm alright today - just about to post my FLR checklist and a couple questions as a new thread in the visa section of this forum,....
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Old May 14th 2021, 4:00 am
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Default Re: Panic attack

Hi All

just wanted to share that yesterday we had the FLR approved within 1 hour of having the biometrics an email came through , I did super priority - worth every penny to get a decision as we were driving home! Thanks for the moral support, onwards and upwards!
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Old May 14th 2021, 7:16 am
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Default Re: Panic attack

Originally Posted by movingtolakes View Post
Hi All

just wanted to share that yesterday we had the FLR approved within 1 hour of having the biometrics an email came through , I did super priority - worth every penny to get a decision as we were driving home! Thanks for the moral support, onwards and upwards!
Congratulations! So pleased for you.
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Old May 14th 2021, 11:48 am
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Default Re: Panic attack

Originally Posted by movingtolakes View Post
Hi All

just wanted to share that yesterday we had the FLR approved within 1 hour of having the biometrics an email came through , I did super priority - worth every penny to get a decision as we were driving home! Thanks for the moral support, onwards and upwards!

Well done, congratulations.
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