curleytops

All the best in your new life at home hope you'll let us know how you're getting along!

between two worlds

6 weeks, my goodness, we have written a lot, haven't we!

What nice words about our messages. (Sorry if we haven't been as warm and welcoming in 2012 as we were in 2011). Good luck in your new phase of life back in your birth country.

It's especially interesting that you say our discussions of some of the emotional issues have hit home with you--this is an aspect of the whole expat-returnee thing that on this thread has always been considered as important as the practical stuff.

All best and thanks for saying hello--let us know how it goes "back home" if you feel so inclined.

Tina

heelan

Thank you for your kind welcome.

I didn't mean any disrespect, but when you go through your thread then
in 2011 there was an amazing amount of support given with huge personal
commitment. Seeing the situations some people were in, you gave each other
so much help and really seemed to carry each other through the journey.

Short version my "homecoming":

Left Scotland in the seventies for the same reason as eveybody else.
Transferred my job to Germany
Met and married my German husband
Had three children (two boys one girl, now all in their thirties)
Worked my way up the corporate ladder and got to the top (of my limits)
Whilst being totally integrated (language, friends etc) never felt at home
Bought a place in Scotland last year as a bolt hole, no intention to make it permanent.
Could not resist the pull and from one day to the next threw in the towel and
retreated to Scotland
Came home
No regrets - but still have a mountain to climb to be a real "repatriate"

Mummy in the foothills

It is a familiar story isn't it.
I'm glad you managed to find your way home. Are the children still in Germany. I think we can still call them that right, I know I will always think of mine as my children no matter how old they get.

Celticspirit

Oh my gosh....Except I wasnt smart enough to purchase a permanent home.....actually we sold our gem in Rostrevor NI. It is a listed property that you can find on Zillow......The Willows on Hornet's Lane. It was before my divorce :-(

Celticspirit

Sorry.....Horner 's Lane......don't like hornets.....

sallysimmons

Sorry cheers, I've been really remiss in keeping up. No we didn't have any flooding round us thankfully. Honestly, the rain hasn't been as bad here as it has been even just 20 miles down the road. We've been very lucky and really enjoyed the summer so far.

cheers

I hate the weather here. The temps the next 5 days all over 100. Today for example it is 107. Disgusting it is.

I changed computer servers in the last week and I don't know if it is related but I was disconnected from the forums and in turn I was not notified of new postings to the forum.

I like my new provider because they are so much faster.

I think I'm OK now. Nice to see some postings.

Cheers

cheers

Have you had time to go and look at those homes you liked? How can I describe them? They were big and had been made into flats but I think you said if you got one you would convert it back into a nice big home.

Cheers

jasper123

Hi Heelan,
A big welcome from me, I was very interested in reading your story, good for you in finally making it back home!!!!

You took 6 weeks reading our posts, thats great, they ARE interesting arent they, interesting to learn of your observation on the difference between 2011 and 2012 posts, It looks like though you only read the second part of our thread, we had to start the second thread cause the first thread got so huge,
We Started our thread in 2009, our founder was trottytrue who is fighting a personal battle of her own right now,

If you thought that 2011 was full of passion and heartaches and a whole lot of people who really cared about each other ------ then take another 6 weeks and read all the posts of 2009 and 2010, you will laugh and cry as you read through the many stages of everyones lives at that time,

try reading Easterndawn's posts right from the start in 2009, when she left Canada after 45 years and returned home to Scotland on her own, forced to leave her husband and her 2 lovely dogs in Canada until she could make a home for them back home and for her husband to wait patiently to sell the house back in Canada, and continue working at his Job, Easterndawn (Pegie) while returning to Scotland went through absolute Hell for about 18 months, finding Jobs loosing jobs etc etc missing her family ---- all alone!!!! then ------ she suddenly dropped out of this thread like so many have, Wish I knew how she got on, I often think of her, she was my inspiration, a real gutsy lady!!!!

A whole lot of us have made it home since this thread began, me included,
but there are lots and lots who have not yet been able to pull it off, it aint easy!!!! everyone has there own individual problems that are preventing there return, others are just not ready yet, but they keep there dream alive by reading threads like this!!!!
Take care,
and good luck,
Rodney.

heelan

Rodney,

Thank you so much for welcoming me. Yours was one of the returns that
particularly caught my interest. I loved your detaied reports on things
öile shopping, prices, daily life. It brought things very much alive. I loved
your attitude to your new life. You just seem to take it as it comes and
enjoy every day. I hope to arrive at this level of contentment.

You appear to me to a very worth-while person.

Helen

between two worlds

Yes, I understood you didn't mean any disrespect, it's true there was more in the way of personal unburdening and stories and mutual support in 2011, and as Rodney says, even more in 2009 and 2010.....just the natural evolution or the natural peak and trough movement of a thread, I guess...

Thanks for the short version of your story--unless I've missed something in a previous post, you don't mention whether the German husband came back with you to Scotland? And, as Rodney asked, are the adult children still in Germany?
Not that I'm trying to pry, no need to give any more info than you want to, obviously.

You'll know from reading all those posts that two enormous issues for many would-be returnees are: having a spouse who doesn't want to return; and leaving behind adult children (and actual or potential grandchildren).
These two issues often cause enormous heartbreak and angst--especially when the children are left in a far-off country like the US or Australia, but hard enough when within Europe.

(I just wish so much that all my adult children would decide to live in Europe--any country!--just seems to me it would be easier than the US--but in actual fact I know that once everyone is enmeshed in their own lives, it''s hard to see each other even when they're closer.)

Anyway, good luck with the journey of re-assimilation!

Very interesting to me is your comment about being totally integrated in terms of the language, friends, etc and YET still never feeling at home...

Tina

curleytops

I think these two threads would make a great mini-series!

heelan

Well if you're interested I'll give you the details. A bit worried about boring you with my story:-

We have twin boys and a girl. Because of the life we have led they are
all very independent albeit very different. When they were young we lived
in South America (Buenos Aires) for 3 years so have quite a different approach to distance, family ties. We all meet up regularly but not in the
Sunday dinner at mum's house way.

Husband has been great about this and is happy for me to be here. He flies
in and out or comes over on the ferry but would not contemplate a permanent
move. Still working on a consultancy basis, I also have to travel through Europe from time to time, but I feel ready now to also give that up. If you
had asked me a year ago, I would have found it unimaginable not to work.

It's a funny old life, but for me I feel as if I am finding my real self again. All
these years of having a latent feeling of not walking in my own shoes but never taking time to think it through, have taken their toll. Maybe I was too
afraid of the consequences and meeting my real self. We are takng time to
get to know each other.


Something odd for example. I have always had people working for me in the
household. Cleaning staff, gardner, nannies at the time. Now I'm back I
take the greatest pleasure in pottering about in my little house. I can't wait
to get up in the morning to clean windows or floors or whatever. Folk can be
strange (?)

Fish n Chips 56

Welcome Helen...

This thread and our Chit Chat thread have slowed down a little, maybe everyone is watching the Olymics wishing they were home, Im not really a sports fan but Ive been watching it just to get my dose of the UK.

Sometimes these threads need something of interest to get us all fired up so post anything that is on your mind.

It's nice to have a new poster that has taken the time to read our previous posts and Thankyou, I'm sure we feel like family now, many people have put alot of time and effort into this thread, its so nice that you have taken the time too.

I will Echo Rods thoughts about Easterndawn and wish she would post again, if only to let us know how she is doing, we had a very tight bond with Ed and saw her through many ups and downs... I for one hope all is well with her and her family...