sallysimmons

This is so interesting because the July 4th holiday is the time I feel the most alienated in this country. I don't feel comfortable with overt patriotism and especially the whole 'greatest country on earth' and 'God bless America' thing that gets trotted out endlessly. I don't object to other peoples' patriotism at all and I do understand the significance of the day, but it's not my day.

For years I tried reading up on the country's history to feel more a part of it. I know the whole story in great detail, and found it fascinating. But it's not my history.

I tried joining in with friends having barbecues and fireworks. But for me fireworks belong on Guy Fawkes night. July 4th just isn't my party.

I tried so hard to fit in here, even becoming a citizen and saying all the vows. But in the end, this isn't my country.

As Jackie found, you can't make yourself fit where you don't belong. But most of the time I'm able to pretend and get on with it. The US holidays are the only time when I find I can't do that.

cheers

We call this day in the UK Thanksgiving Day if you get my drift.

curleytops

For me, you hit the nail on the head Sally. We are all different and many, like Rodney, for example can truly enjoy these holiday times but I myself could really relate you what you were saying - you just can't feel something that isn't there and I think in the end a lot of us get tired of pretending.

Beedubya

I thought Thanksgiving Day was just before Christmas???

jasper123

You got it Barb --- thats the key to being happy over here really, and sometimes it takes sometime to achieve, finding the right Job that one is happy in and pays enough at least so that you are able to live a life close to what you had in your adopted country, (material things Im talking about)

So yes take away the day to day grind of just being able to barely get by, and have a little extra to go buy some new clothes that make you feel good now and again, or enough left after paying rent and all the bills and food etc etc ---- to treat yourself and maybe a friend also to lunch or dinner now and again, A little extra money honey makes all the difference

And really thats the whole problem, I can see the majority of us people who are coming home, or have already made the leap are still in there working age stage of life, and most bring very little money with them, so immediately they are under the terrific strain of trying to find a Job in a Job market simular to America where for every job opening there are hundreds of applicants,
And they find they cant get a Job for a while and there money is quickly doing a disappearing act and the situation gets even worse if you havent got any support from your family or friends,
Or some find a Job rather quickly but they dont like the Job, and it dont even pay enough to get by, and so there unhappy until they find another Job (IF) they are lucky to find another,!!!!!
So a lot of things really come into play, its not just one thing, (BUT) one thing is for sure and no disrespect to Jackie ----- one needs to give it time,
I mean look at me Im 66 Ive been home for 7 months just like Jackie, I came from Vegas too, I came home to live with my Mum, so the TWO big advantages in my case is I dont have rent to pay!!!! (just half of all the bills and food etc etc) ------ and I get my S.S. from the U.S. and a partial small British state pension for my 11 years of U.K work, so I do have enough to live on, and I do have a little extra to be able to buy a new pair of shoes and take my Mum out for lunch once in a while
All this makes life over here so much easier when we are trying to fit in and getting used to the different way of life and everything,
And another thing I dont have any family that I left behind in America --- just one friend thats all --- and I do miss him a lot cause he was a really good friend, we still e-mail each other,
So the point Im making after all this is this!!! ----- even with me for an example it took me two years to finally make up my mind to make this big move after most of my adult life living in America, I was scared, really scared, and as the time grew closer and closer to my departure I was absolutely petrified, I knew I would miss my life in U.S. even though I was not leaving anyone behind, just knowing that my life was going to change so drastically,
Now Im still in my early stages, and I miss the States a lot I must admit that, but I do slowly feel myself settling into life here, it does take a while,
One day I will I think feel like I belong here, dont feel it yet though, it still just feels like a nice long vacation with a difference --- I dont have a return ticket
Take care Barb and everyone,
Rodney.

islandwoman120

Rodney - I understand what you are saying. I have been here 8 months now, and am finally feeling more at home. Yes, I miss Minnesota and Wisconsin a lot - the two states I lived in the longest, and where I have good friends. We email frequently - in the case of one friend, sometimes daily, sometimes more than that - as though we were talking on the phone. But in the US I was without work, and not of pensionable age, and in any case, the pension I will eventually get from the USA is very small. Here I have a safety net, a small pension topped up by pension credit, and live in a lovely old home, with a wonderful garden. I have enough to live on, plus a bit to save, and I am accustomed to living on a small amount so this is not much different. I miss the space of the USA, the physical space. I am a casual person, and will never be prim and proper British, so will never fit in in certain situations. Never did before either, too much Caribbean in my blood! So in that manner I am more American than British, but I love the history, the architecture of the ancient buildings, the flowers, the wildflowers, the Public Footpath system, Ordnance Survey maps, and a more ordered, yet less pressured, lifestyle. In other words, I am adjusting.

But I have given myself at least a full 12 months to make sense of what is a strange country - so much has changed in the 25 years I have been away. What do I dislike the most? Poor manners, school children with the most foul mouths, American sweets in the shops, a lack of Smarties (they have been replaced by M&Ms), cheap and tatty goods from China creeping into the English shops - just like the US of China . Oh - and the pub next door!! How I hate the pub next door....

jasper123

I have just read my horoscope which is Gemini, it kind of relates to us all really, especially those of us that are already in Great Britain,

Quote ---- Try not to be too judgemental this week of those whose ways are not to your liking, you've every right to disagree with there methods, BUT you have no right at all to demand that they change them, and try not to hark back to the past so much, the good old days were not always so good and, besides, the world must always move on.

Hmmmm that made me think a lot about what I do

jasper123

Thanks Rosie, good post, your posts are straight from the gut --- heart like mine are, I like that,
That part towards the end really makes a lot of sense to me and also is one of the things I love about the U.K.
You said ----- And a more ordered --- yet less pressured lifestyle.

ldyinlv

Yesterday was the icing on the cake..I recieved a bill for 80 pounds because apparently I had parked for 3 hours in a parking lot that i was supposed to pay for after 2 hours...Paying for parking doesnt even enter my thinking unless there is a huge sign saying I have to, they sent me pictures of myself entering, and then leaving this parking place..and a picture of the sign that apparently explained the parking rules, that I never saw. I find that extremley creepy, and outragous.
Also, I guess I am not ready to be happy to just be able to afford to go out to lunch once in a while just yet, not that I go out alot, but I am to young I think to become old..and I feel that happening to me here...
Jackie

ldyinlv

Actually Cheers, I really do miss Target..lol..

ldyinlv

thank you Celtic, i hope things are better for you..

Sue

Just an FYI. I have created a new page in the wiki for you all to add useful links and info to.

I've also posted a link to the page at the top of the MBTTUK forum.

All you have to do to add new content is to click the "Edit". If you get stuck on anything please give me a shout and I'll be happy to help.

The page is here

Celticspirit

I feel exactly the same Sally. 4th July and Thanksgiving I have always felt like a fish out of water. This year I will be leaving early tomorrow (4th) for Stockholm for 8 days of dog show judging and holiday. It will be nice to be somewhere in Europe.

ldyinlv

See, I think I am a lost cause, I love the 4th of July, and Thanksgiving, and I always choke up at the US national anthem. I think because I was intergrated into an American family since I was 18, and I kind of grew up with them (my exs family)..since that time I have never really thought of myself as anything other than an American who origionally came from the UK. Now that I have been in the UK for a period of time, I realize that that to be truer than I thought..;(
Jackie

Derrygal

I'm not big on the 4th of July holiday - although now that I have American grand-children I go and see the fireworks. Americans are very patriotic and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that - but sometimes it can be a little bit "over the top". I don't think you can say this is the greatest country in the world if you've never lived anywhere else!! I do like Thanksgiving though - love to watch the Macy's parade on television!!