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OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

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Old Jan 31st 2011, 7:34 pm
  #2551  
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by islandwoman120
I have noticed since moving back to the UK that when people speak they use negatives. For example: 'You wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?' or 'You wouldn't happen to be taking the bus to town?'

They don't realise that they are speaking in negatives, so when I go into the library, for example, and say "Do you have a copy of ------" as opposed to "You wouldn't happen to have a copy of -------- would you?" it just makes more sense. When I hear the negatives spoken, I want to say "No. I don't" which is not the answer they are looking for. Like saying sorry when you bump into someone and they apologise to you!

It's a cultural thing for sure.
lol ...I think that is a charming thing ,indicative of where you are living in the UK perhaps ?

My family do that a lot ,they are not far from you
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Old Jan 31st 2011, 7:46 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by islandwoman120
I have noticed since moving back to the UK that when people speak they use negatives. For example: 'You wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?' or 'You wouldn't happen to be taking the bus to town?'

They don't realise that they are speaking in negatives, so when I go into the library, for example, and say "Do you have a copy of ------" as opposed to "You wouldn't happen to have a copy of -------- would you?" it just makes more sense. When I hear the negatives spoken, I want to say "No. I don't" which is not the answer they are looking for. Like saying sorry when you bump into someone and they apologise to you!

It's a cultural thing for sure.

LOL! You're so right, it's a cultural thing, and I'm glad it survives. I too love this polite sort of tentativeness, almost as if you feel you're being a nuisance by speaking at all...exactly akin to the saying sorry when someone bumps into you...Anyone who's interested in this sort of thing should read a brilliant book called Watching the English by Kate Fox...she examines all these aspects of Englishness, even doing experiments like trying to bump into people on purpose and NOT say sorry, and jump queues, to see what happens...not very successful experiments as she herself is too English to bring herself to do those things!
Fascinating and funny....

Tina
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Old Jan 31st 2011, 8:01 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by ldyinlv
I am just back from the store too...lots of yummy English stuff..cream Donuts..yummy.(need them like a hole in my head)
What I like about England is there are real women here. Not everyone on TV is a size 2....its wonderful. I am having a hard time getting my sleep on track, up all night, and tired all day, but hopefully that will change soon. I hope everyone is well, will be back later.
Jackie..
Good to hear from you Jackie. Hope your sleep pattern sorts itself out soon, maybe it's like a form of deep relaxation in your inner being because you are home.

Oh the yummy food, what you (and I) need to remember is that we are home for good and can have it anytime we like.

I got sooo addicted to chocolate eclairs with fresh cream, you get 2 in a box from Tesco's or wherever, and I could never eat just one could I?
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Old Jan 31st 2011, 8:02 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Gabgoeshome
lol ...I think that is a charming thing ,indicative of where you are living in the UK perhaps ?

My family do that a lot ,they are not far from you
Me too Gab, I just think it's so very British.
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Old Jan 31st 2011, 8:04 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by cally49
Hi again it will be four years since i was back there before that i had been going back every year for6 yrs for at least 6 weeks and one stint of 7 months when me and ex hubby split up......I shall be going back to a small village not far from Lincoln in Lincolnshire and initally staying with my mum and stepdad and then i have offers to stay with all my brothers if i want to have a change and if i decide to stay i know of a cottage coming up to rent.

Im pretty lucky as my brother owns a car sales so he makes sure i have some wheels lol and he said he's waiting for me to arive so he can take me to his boat in the south of france (his treat he said) so im looking forward to that....hey theres a thought maybe i can be his full time boat keeper and live on his boat in France lmao!
Safe travels for you and yes you are right it prob is my first post in the over 50s & 60s.......
Talk soon and good luck for your travels! xxx,
Wow that sounds quite the plan!!! You lucky girl.

Hmmm this brother of yours with a yacht in the South of France, is he single? LOL!!

Hey that sounds like a great job for you!!! The best of both worlds, live in France and a hop and a skip away from England, not like now living on t'other side of the world.
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Old Jan 31st 2011, 8:30 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by between two worlds
LOL! You're so right, it's a cultural thing, and I'm glad it survives. I too love this polite sort of tentativeness, almost as if you feel you're being a nuisance by speaking at all...exactly akin to the saying sorry when someone bumps into you...Anyone who's interested in this sort of thing should read a brilliant book called Watching the English by Kate Fox...she examines all these aspects of Englishness, even doing experiments like trying to bump into people on purpose and NOT say sorry, and jump queues, to see what happens...not very successful experiments as she herself is too English to bring herself to do those things!
Fascinating and funny....

Tina
Sounds like just the book my Canadian hubby should read before we move...
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Old Jan 31st 2011, 8:34 pm
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Wawa
Sounds like just the book my Canadian hubby should read before we move...
I will look out for that book too Wawa and Tina, looks interesting.

I still say sorry if I bump into somebody whether it's my fault or not. I like to think I have retained most of my British ways.
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 12:24 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Wawa
Sounds like just the book my Canadian hubby should read before we move...
Wawa, Don't you find Canadians do that too? I've always noticed how Canadians say "sorry" so much, not quite in the same way as us Brits, but still, generally they are pretty polite.
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 1:28 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by SomersetGirl
Wawa, Don't you find Canadians do that too? I've always noticed how Canadians say "sorry" so much, not quite in the same way as us Brits, but still, generally they are pretty polite.
ALL the time! Happened to me today when I squeezed in the lift at the last minute, just as the doors closed - the woman inside the lift said 'sorry'. I agree not the same as Brits, but they are generally polite and friendly people. I am just unhappy here as I have made few friends but mostly find the fact that I have no family here pretty unbearable.
I, like Sallysimmons, has to be careful about the move, not to push too hard, highlight the good, play down the bad, oh, and NEVER nag. (Hard to do!)
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 1:35 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Wawa
I am just unhappy here as I have made few friends but mostly find the fact that I have no family here pretty unbearable.
I, like Sallysimmons, has to be careful about the move, not to push too hard, highlight the good, play down the bad, oh, and NEVER nag. (Hard to do!)
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. We have made some friends, but not as many as you would expect in 30 years. Everyone is very friendly on the surface, but it usually doesn't develop into those warm friendships that are so important when you don't have family around you. Luckily, my husband feels the same way (we are both Brits) emigrated together, and for some very strange reason, last year, both started feeling that we wanted to go back.
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 2:10 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by SomersetGirl
Oh, I know exactly what you mean. We have made some friends, but not as many as you would expect in 30 years. Everyone is very friendly on the surface, but it usually doesn't develop into those warm friendships that are so important when you don't have family around you. Luckily, my husband feels the same way (we are both Brits) emigrated together, and for some very strange reason, last year, both started feeling that we wanted to go back.
I have found that people are so busy here. They work hard, have their lives all sorted, their families around them and are happy with their lot. I have my office co-workers who are good fun, but it has taken a while to gain their trust as a newcomer. I cant quite put my finger on it as I have lived all over and never experienced this before. You can meet people you quite like and enjoy their company, but it never seems to go to that next level. As you say, its all on the surface and will never develop into that close, laugh-a-minute friendship.

30 years is a long time! How did you do it? I have been here for 5 and my bags are packed and sitting by the front door. They are invisible, only I can see them. They've been there for a while now You are so lucky that the tug to return home hit you both at the same time. There are more than a few people on these forums that are frustrated by husbands or wives happily plodding along with no real urge to return.
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 3:47 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Gabgoeshome
lol ...I think that is a charming thing ,indicative of where you are living in the UK perhaps ?

My family do that a lot ,they are not far from you
Gab, & Rosie, If you bump into me, particularly if I am with Tippawan, I shall apologise to you both, take your arms, and escort you home with me, to recover, and perhaps, get to know you both a little better. love dontheturner xxxx
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 3:52 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Beedubya
Good to hear from you Jackie. Hope your sleep pattern sorts itself out soon, maybe it's like a form of deep relaxation in your inner being because you are home.

Oh the yummy food, what you (and I) need to remember is that we are home for good and can have it anytime we like.

I got sooo addicted to chocolate eclairs with fresh cream, you get 2 in a box from Tesco's or wherever, and I could never eat just one could I?
Hi Barb, just to inspire you regarding food, If you like cheese, Morrisons bake small crusty cobs, with Cheese baked onto them - superb when buttered, and slices of cucumber and tomato popped into them. dontheturner
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 9:12 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by dontheturner
Gab, & Rosie, If you bump into me, particularly if I am with Tippawan, I shall apologise to you both, take your arms, and escort you home with me, to recover, and perhaps, get to know you both a little better. love dontheturner xxxx
That will be great, Don. Make sure you keep in touch when you get home. Even if you only post now and then. Rosie
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Old Feb 1st 2011, 11:40 am
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Default Re: OVER 50's & 60's MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by islandwoman120
That will be great, Don. Make sure you keep in touch when you get home. Even if you only post now and then. Rosie
Rosie - Don't you worry - as soon as I get a PC sorted, I will be in touch. my daughter is being absolutely wonderful to us - says everything we want is in the place! (The house, of course, should be empty, as the tenants have now gone - so she knows my likes, and she is being so good to us). Take Care dontheturner xxx
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