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OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Old Oct 5th 2011, 12:20 am
  #9826  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Beedubya
Oh I agree Pauline, I only hug family or really, really close friends. I would feel REALLY uncomfortable hugging strangers.

Of course any of my BE friends are not strangers in any way.
Good Im glad you said that your b.e. friends are not strangers ----- so young lady I will expect a hug from you when I meet you
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 12:36 am
  #9827  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

It's quite nice if someone has a fit husband.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 1:01 am
  #9828  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

The 110 year old club

http://www.second-opinions.co.uk/110-plus.html

What is happening with all these people dying as young as 114 years old. What is the world coming to?

http://www.grg.org/CalmentMen.html

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Old Oct 5th 2011, 1:21 am
  #9829  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by DDL
Thank you Mallory. It was a real pleasure getting to know you.
Very sad for you Denise, I enjoyed your posts immensely. Best wishes in all your adventures.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 1:42 am
  #9830  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by J.J
To expand my comment about not feeling comfortable with people I live amongst.

Now this isn't all the time and with everyone. but I have encountered more of an in-your-face aggressive attitude than back in my familiar North Carolina.

And more look-through-you-as-if-you didn't exist too. Even people that I see daily in the estate street and offer a morning greeting and get ignored. maybe I look threatening to them, maybe I come across as Crocodile Dundee in New York, lol.

But, but......, it is apples and oranges, here in UK people in city centers are from every sector of society and behaviors, whereas in US where I lived there was a better standard of public behavior -- but, but...... there were some areas around my US town that I would never go to whereas here everyone congregates into the one town center.

I expect part of this is me and my perception.

I have met some very pleasant UK people but I sometimes do get that look as if I have two-heads when I say something that doesn't fit within English frame of acceptability yet would have been quite acceptable in US chat.

Maybe this is what OH June meant when she felt she didn't fit in in USA, I did fit there and I don't yet feel that I fit in the UK (no, I am not hankering to go back to US)

Regards, John
Thanks for answering, appreciate your reasoned and measured tone. I agree with you about perception and more.

No matter who we are, the color of our skin, our accents, our preferences in life we are going to be judged and judged. It's impossible not to take in so many personal experiences, good and bad, and then have that come face to face with strangers and friends. And we don't know what they've been through, either.

It's bemusing and amusing to read some of the responses over the lifetime of this thread. Trying to categorize one culture/country etc., with a broad brush does not work.

In a different thread someone was listing the reasons why they hate the US. Crime- everywhere, including the UK. Traffic accidents- UK has them.
Dopey relatives- everywhere in the world! We can't live with blinders on, this stuff is going to exist no matter where you live. When I moved to this town where I am now, I could not believe the amount of crime, compared to where I last had a home and the nearness to a major city, crime didn't come close to what's happening here. But I just stopped reading the paper, watching the news and lived as best as I can.

While in Wales and England I met some very friendly people and some cold standoffish ones, too. It didn't matter that I was American to some and to others they couldn't look past the accent and see the real person. Too bad, holding no grudges, but feeling rejected, I just accept.

The same applies here, in the US- some want to be friends and some would steal your last slice of bread. Sometimes the waitresses are too attentive and don't let you eat they hover and others ignore you. I'd rather have the waitress tell me her life story and walk away with a good memory than be disgusted with the service and never go to the restaurant again.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 2:07 am
  #9831  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by CarolPat
I've been thinking about this too as my return to the UK draws ever closer [2 weeks and counting]. I already know that my UK friends find it a little invasive when I now greet them with the typical American hug but I don't want to lose the warmth I've acquired over here. And I've encountered strange looks on trips to London when I strike up conversations with total strangers, which I do every day here. I really don't want to retreat into my British shell again but neither do I want to be branded as a crackpot. I hope there's a happy medium to find. In the meantime, I'll keep hugging and chatting for the next two weeks ....

Best of luck with your return! You are not a crackpot!

Several years after my Mom passed away I found myself talking to total strangers. Before that they've always initiated the conversation and being polite, I would listen and sometimes I found these were eccentrics or lonely people and some were like angels who showed up at just the right time.

Now that I have gotten more used to talking to strangers sometimes I initiate. Some will respond- give me recipes, websites, other advice and others are closed up and are grudgingly polite. I'm talking about conversations in a store, library, etc. Somebody drunk on the train- no talk, no eye contact, trying to keep my distance.

I was home alone one day, lived in a condo at that time, and there was a banging on the door, it went on and finally I peeked out, since the sound was frightening. There were lots of teenage crimes in the area- stringing wire across porches so people would not see it and get cut when they walked outside, breaking lightbulbs at night to sound like someone breaking in, a few dogs being taunted and hurt- it went on...

Anyway, the knocking was done by an elderly man, he looked dishevelled and kind of scared me, it was hard to understand his words. Eventually I figured out that he was staying next door- next door, I couldn't believe it, the man was the father of my neighbor- who by the way was always parking in my assigned parking. The son was kind of embarassed/ashamed of his father because of his appearance and speech.

But the real issue here is, the man had a form of dementia and the son was not coping- just leaving the father alone for 14 plus hours every day. He had no food except for whatever was put out in the morning, he wasn't able to remember how to get a drink of water.

He did have some moment of awareness to come to my door and ask for help. He said he was hungry and thirsty and wanted to get away from the man- his son.

I know this was long, but it ties in with the friendliness/phoniness/kindness/strangers/disingenuousness in both our countries. I'm noone's heroine, I was scared, but couldn't let this strange man be so alone and frightened. I callled his son, who was none too happy with me or his father. Eventually the father moved to another relative's home, I hope they took good care of him.

So, no I haven't hugged a stranger even though I am US raised, but if we were close by each other I'd take one from you please.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 2:39 am
  #9832  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by jasper123
Good Im glad you said that your b.e. friends are not strangers ----- so young lady I will expect a hug from you when I meet you
I'll stretch the comfort zone for you Rodney and give you a hug I've become very fond of many of the BE family.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 4:32 am
  #9833  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

This statement makes me kinda sad, to think you would have to give up your warmer side in order to fit back in.I think every individual should be accepted for who they are.


Originally Posted by CarolPat
I've been thinking about this too as my return to the UK draws ever closer [2 weeks and counting]. I already know that my UK friends find it a little invasive when I now greet them with the typical American hug but I don't want to lose the warmth I've acquired over here. And I've encountered strange looks on trips to London when I strike up conversations with total strangers, which I do every day here. I really don't want to retreat into my British shell again but neither do I want to be branded as a crackpot. I hope there's a happy medium to find. In the meantime, I'll keep hugging and chatting for the next two weeks ....
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 4:39 am
  #9834  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by UkWinds5353
This statement makes me kinda sad, to think you would have to give up your warmer side in order to fit back in.I think every individual should be accepted for who they are.
Wouldn't that be nice!

I do think that fitting in is something all expats have learned to do, so we shouldn't have too much problem doing it again. We can't expect a whole country to have changed just because we have.

But I don't think anyone has to lose their warmth ... just learn to show it in slightly different ways and at slightly different times. When in Rome etc.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 11:32 am
  #9835  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills
I'll stretch the comfort zone for you Rodney and give you a hug I've become very fond of many of the BE family.
Yes I have also become very fond of our B.E. family, when we are lonely or worried about something or we Just need someone to talk to to make things easier then all we have to do is log in get on line and click the over 50,s thread and we can step into this big room stretched all over the globe and have a cup of tea and talk to a lot of people who really care
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 1:21 pm
  #9836  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills

Feelings have been hurt before.
But to feel you can't have a good moan cause someone doesn't like the US getting a jab limits posting sometimes.
Yes indeed MITF what you say here is very true, no one likes to feel that they are walking on egg shells when they are posting, I myself have had my share of having a few Jabs at the U.S.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 2:02 pm
  #9837  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by jasper123
Yes indeed MITF what you say here is very true, no one likes to feel that they are walking on egg shells when they are posting, I myself have had my share of having a few Jabs at the U.S.
As you know, it's also like that in real life here in America. I never complain about things to flesh and blood* people here, because they get too upset and feel personally insulted.

It's nice to have you guys to talk to, people who understand.

*Not that you're not all flesh and blood but you know what I mean.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 4:22 pm
  #9838  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by sallysimmons
As you know, it's also like that in real life here in America. I never complain about things to flesh and blood* people here, because they get too upset and feel personally insulted.

It's nice to have you guys to talk to, people who understand.

*Not that you're not all flesh and blood but you know what I mean.
I know what you mean, I censor what I have to complain about or my opinions on what is happening here with my friends, they are all staunch republicans, and poor as church mice, but get very put out if I point out the obvious.
Dh is feeling very low this week. Two more of our sons friends have just moved house, into rental property after losing their homes to the banks. Both due to one parent other other losing work for a number of months and both families are back working full time and doing well, but having fallen so far behind the banks have put them out. It makes him very depressed to see people like ourselves losing out.

Last edited by Mummy in the foothills; Oct 5th 2011 at 4:24 pm.
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 4:42 pm
  #9839  
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Default Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Going home.
I don't see it happening for some time. I would be on the next plane if it was up to me. In the mean time I can dream by being on this forum, British news and clips on YouTube.
I don't hate it in the US, far from it, but I would love being in England me thinks. I was last there in 2002 for a visit.
I think we may be going for a trip to England next year and we should stay for over 3 weeks.
One dream is being in England and just standing outside in the drizzle and again just standing there.
OK I have to go looking on Rightmove today to get my fix.
Cheers
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Old Oct 5th 2011, 4:56 pm
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Exclamation Re: OVER 50's+ MOVING BACK TO THE UK - Part II

Originally Posted by cheers
Going home.
I don't see it happening for some time. I would be on the next plane if it was up to me. In the mean time I can dream by being on this forum, British news and clips on YouTube.
I don't hate it in the US, far from it, but I would love being in England me thinks. I was last there in 2002 for a visit.
I think we may be going for a trip to England next year and we should stay for over 3 weeks.
One dream is being in England and just standing outside in the drizzle and again just standing there.
OK I have to go looking on Rightmove today to get my fix.
Cheers
That's so sad, Cheers

Just a gentle reminder - the Olympics take place next year and flight prices are likely to be high, unless you can go after the games have ended
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