charleygirl

Hi denise, I havent been here for quite some time but lovely to see you here, how are you??
I have 14 weeks yesterday left til I use my one way ticket to the UK
Anna, and ED, so happy to hear from you both and Barb you will feel so much better once you are working. Rodney best thing, volunteer at age concerm you will meet some friends there!
TT, okay i am out of my funk so lets meet!!

cheers

So tell us more?
Where are you goin' to live?
August and your off......

Cheers

aries

We seem to be in much the same situation, except that you have a job, I am retired with no family of my own. I also worry about returning to England, and at my age wonder if I am looking through rose-coloured glasses, and it is all pie-in-the-sky.

However, we must do what we feel we must do, otherwise we would never do anything.

My sister in England has said that if I don't make the move this year, I never will. Returning to England alone will be a huge challenge, and as yet I have no idea where I will go. It can be very tiring looking on the internet at dozens of towns and thousands of flats, but also fascinating.

I look for location, nearness to shops and transport (I will not have a car, my UK driving licence expired in 2008), parks, even where the local hospital is situated and its services. Following roads from Street View is also a good exercise to explore an area.

All of this creates a sketch in my mind, and although reality could be quite different when actually there, it is better than leaving my imagination to wander.

As you have said, tradesmen can a nightmare, many seem to believe that if I am preparing for sale, I must be desperate to accept their grossly excessive quotes. Two men who came together last year to give me a quote, actually tried to bully me, even refusing to put their quote in writing. They were double the cost of a young man I eventually employed.

And a few weeks ago a supposedly respectable Australia-wide franchised group did only part of the inside painting work I requested to be done (and very badly at that), so I refused to pay, and they left leaving the place in a mess. I took lots of photographs, and with details of the quote, submitted them in an email to their head office. Five days later I received a reply to say they would not invoice me for anything, and I should find someone else to finish off. A retired painter living in our road said they were a jack of all trades, master of none, and that he had heard of a lot of complaints about the organisation. I was even going to use someone of theirs for roof work, but found out in time that he was a carpenter!

I have another painter coming tomorrow, and his cost together with the cost of a qualified roof man who attended to all the ridge capping last week, will be little more than the money I didn't pay the previous painters.

Sooner or later there will be light in the tunnel . . . probably one of those new spiralled things!

trottytrue

So many posts to reply to.

Charlygirl...Yes lets meet you may be out of your funk but I'm still in mine but it will be nice to chat.

Beedubya...I truly understand how you feel. We who are returning home but leaving behind children will never be complete no matter where we live. When we moved abroad we also had that same feeling. There is always something missing but is it not better for us to have our own life instead of waiting around to be a part of someone else's life. Our children lead such busy lives its so different today than it was years ago. Nearly all couples today work fulltime and then try and sqeeze as much as they can into weekends or evenings. That does not leave much time for us. We cannot expect it but I dont think us just sitting around helps them. Distance is also a problem we most of us dont live round the corner from our families. You will have periods when you feel sad but then you had the same when you were in Australia I am sure that will happen to me and it scares me but I keep thinking about how lonely I feel here. Once things get settled I think you will begin to perk up.

Rodney...Glad your keeping the cigs down. I am sure you will find something that you will enjoy doing and that way meet new people. Hows the feet doing and Sunday dinners

I like tea......Seems alot of us are depressed we should form a club, you have to ask yourself could it be any worse in the UK that you have it now. I dont think so. Once you get home I think you will fit in its a matter of finding a place you want to live that you wont be isolated. I look at lots of these country villages but whilst they are lovely many of them dont have good bus routes so you would need a car for me thats out of the question so I need somewhere on the outskirts of a larger town or a village that has good bus routes. You seem to have done your homework on that front so I think you are keeping you feet firmly grounded. With most of those who have returned home I think money is one at the of the list. Without it life is alot more difficult and a much bigger struggle but like many have done it can be overcome with hardwork. Workmen can be the worst I hate it when we have to hire someone to do jobs. We ask for estimates and they can be so different for the same job. I wish you luck.

High Tide....Nice to hear from you are you replacing the roof with another slate one. We have a wisteria and although I love the flowers it drives me round the bend. The vines get everywhere. We dont have it on the house but planted around the back deck. Its rooted itself all over the place and I am finding it hard to get rid I dont want to remove it all but I am getting to the point of chopping the whole thing down.

My neighbour who sold her house two weeks ago has just bought herself a house down south nearer to her parents in Florida. She is so excited. She called and asked would I help her pack. I am so miserable.We had a few weeks of quite a few showings but nothing for the past two. Working in the garden is getting unpleasant with all the bugs venturing out. I saw this big black flying brute yesterday. Looked like it had come from outerspace.

bandrui

I am sorry to hear of your tradesmen trials but feel better that I am not alone.
Tradesmen on this island have a reputation for not returning calls, not showing up when they said they were going to, not giving written estimates and in fact all of the things you have both experienced.
I can barely stand to think about how I was ripped off on some deck repairs so won't go into detail.
I did have one good experience with a man who was semi-retired who charged reasonable rates, did great work and allowed me to work with him, but he moved off the island.
I find this absolutely the most challenging part of living alone. Now, if I can do the job myself, I will and only get a tradesman in for things beyond my capabilities.
I too shall be returning to England alone after being gone for more than 40 years and I don't think there's anyone who doesn't wonder at some point if they are doing the right thing but somewhere in my heart I know that this is what I am meant to do.
This may be a stretch for some of you but I had an astrological reading last week, as I often do at crossroads in my life, and this is what he said to me:

Home is in your body mind heart soul. You have to go home. This isn’t home right? You’re not really home. That’s the thing. This feels like home and kind of looks like home but it’s not authentically home and it’s about what I’m going to call your roots. You are so attracted to your roots, to your heritage, to your tradition. It’s as if your spirit is there.

I share that because that is exactly the way it is for me.

coastieexpat

This is how I have felt for a long time and I have been here 30 years. One of my concerns though is, I will go back and not fit in over there either......then where am I ?

I'm trying to be really careful about those , " rose tinted glasses ".

HighTide

I'm not sure if this link has been posted before or not.

Age Concern UK has a great deal of information on their web site. Hope it will be useful to some.

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/publications.../?paging=false

HighTide

Nice to see your post Trotty with the updates. You are a gem.

Yes it will be a new slate roof.....just seems right over here. The cottage has a red roof...double Roman tiles. That will be power washed and a few replaced where needed. It was in pretty good shape.

Yes that Wisteria .....love it and hate it at the same time. I am sitting staring at the garden fence and wondering if it will start causing problems there too before long. Better get out and check that out today.

Hope this week is a great one for you. It is your turn for sure.

HighTide

Check this out Rodney......

http://www.ageconcernportsmouth.org.uk/index.cfm

I see drop in centres all over the South West where one can drop infor coffee, cake and chat etc. Not sure if it is your cup of tea so to speak but you just might meet someone who would like to go for a pint or two.

aries

I am already finding it helpful

When I live in South Australia, I like the one about staying cool in a UK heatwave

dgjamison

Hi Charletgirl, fantastic to hear from you, how are things going, so you are definately going to take the plunge after all I really am delighted for you, please let us know how things go. I am sorry I have forgotten the person who is alone and at the moment feeling very depressed, just want to say, try to stay positive although I know that is very hard. But if you come back with the intention of when you are settled to try and get into some sort of hobby and try and meet other people, I feel you will find it much more friendly Beedubya, I know you are going to have bad days, and the guilt is just awful, but you know as TT said kids have their own life now, and although sometimes I feel neglected by them, I now realise kids do not have the same loyality for want of a better word as we did, and yet when I say that, I left home at 18 to go to Australia without a backward glance or what my mother was feeling about it, (and 1300 miles seemed a lot further in those days) so I suppose I was vry much selfish as well and wanting to lead my own life, although I loved my mother and father dearly I know when I came back to Ireland when my kids were young my sisters and I visited my mother everyday, but kids today don't do that, they have to work and look after their families, so I have to take a step back and remember that, and you know if you were back in Australia it would be great for a few weeks and then it would get back to normality again. When you start your new job it will reay help you I think God bless to you and I really hope all goes well and the dark days will be few and far between. TT I keep hoping you will get some good news about the sale of your house, you are a treasure keeping yourself positive, again that in itself must be a struggle, but you inspire us all when things get us down, dig up and rebury St. Joseph again, you just never know, Rodney do look into what is available to you and I am sure you will find something that interests you. Good luck to everyone, it is so hard when you are divided between 2 countries, there will always be yearnings for one or the other, the curse of the expat Just one thing I think anyone who has family i.e. sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, ect: will find they might settle better, as we have the time now to spend more time together now our kids our grown, this is my observation anyway, just saying Denise

jasper123

WOW thanks David, that site has just about everything a senior would ever need to know, and help and advice about everything, I was amazed at how long the list is, a mountain of INFO for people who live in UK, THANKS,
Rodney.

jasper123

Many thanks David for posting the age concern site for Portsmouth & the South, I will be looking at a lot of things on here, I have saved this site to favorites and put it at the top so I can easily find it,
Hope everything is going good with your beautiful B&B ---- are you getting close to your opening date?
RODNEY.

HighTide

We are having to do a little more work than originally expected but all in all it is going quite well. We hope to have the cottage ready for holiday rentals in a couple of months and also 1 B & B room in the house. Putting in long days but at the end of the day it is a "good tired" and have usually accomplished quite a bit.
You are right...that age concern site really does cover just about anything .
David

jasper123

David,
You and partner as you say are putting in a lot of hours and a lot of hard work, but you feel really good when you see the progress, just keep thinking of how it will look like when its all finished and then you can step right back and take in the whole picture and say a big WOW!!! and a sigh of relief that its all done, and know that it was all certainly worth all the effort and hard work you put into it.
I wish you both the best of everything, and I hope you get fully booked for the whole year and beyond.