cheers

Rodney,

Are you still down to two a day?

Cheers

trottytrue

dgjamison....Funny you saying about being lonely in a crowd. I have felt for quite a while that I am outside and looking in through a window and life is all going on inside but not for me. You just have to make the best of it whichever part of the World you are in. I know its hard for Rodney but given time he will get to know people he just needs to make sure he gets out. At least he does have the opportunity to do things. He can be hopeful. I know eventually he will find something that interest in and that way he will find friends.

Englishmum

I have a couple of ideas for you Rodney: have you ever heard of the "University of the Third Age"? My late mother-in-law was active in their activities. It's not a formal academic group, it's for retired people with time on their hands whom want to keep their minds (or/and bodies) active.

http://www.u3a.org.uk/

I had a quick look online and there is a U3A group in Portsmouth; you may wish to do something like playing the board (tile) game of 'Mahjong' (it's a lot of fun, I've played it in Singapore - I just observed someone playing and then had a go myself and then played once or twice a week - however we didn't gamble like the Chinese though lol!) or Rummikub. You might want to go on an outing by bus or rail, join a discussion group, reading group. film club, 'Travel talkabout', 'Sunday Strollers' etc. etc. See the link below:

http://portsmouthu3a.org.uk/groups.php

Perhaps you may like to consider learning a new pastime; how about lawn bowls (or Crown Green bowling)? I'm sure that if you phone a lawn bowling club they probably offer lessons to people who are interested (and some offer indoor bowling too) and you can also learn the rules and tactics online. I'm sure that most participants only learn the sport once they've retired, there is a lawn bowling club near my sister's house in the Coventry suburbs and most of the people I've seen on the green are seniors (many also have a club house too for drinks and meals/snacks). Similarly you may have never played golf in your life, but you may wish to have a go at whacking a few balls at a golf drive centre; you may find people are happy to give tips/advice and it may lead to having a round of golf with a new friend.

I'm sure that you could meet people and make new friends if you join in a communal activity. All the other suggestions are great too! If, for example going on the stage doesn't appeal to you, most amateur dramatic groups need people to issue programmes, help at the 'box office', do a bit of painting/stage props etc. and I'm sure would love to have you go along to help out!

Good Luck!

black swan

Hello Rodney. I am pleased to hear that you are getting on well now you are back in Portsmouth & feeling happy with your decision to return.

I understand how it feels when you try to socialize & everyone seems to belong in a group. Even though we are a couple we have found it difficult & it does'nt seem to matter if you are here in Australia, UK or anywhere else. But when we retired we made a determined effort to mix & be occupied. Our biggest sucess has been taking up 'carpet bowls' (indoor bowls) & it does not require any financial outlay as does lawn bowls. Another day I go to craft classes while my husband plays snooker.
The bowling will take a little practise but everyone has to learn & one gets better over time.
Paula.

Beedubya

Rodney In my local paper today I saw where they were asking for volunteers at a lunch club. Some of the volunteers are older than the lunchees

I know very little about what they are but I put in Portsmouth lunch clubs into google and it came up with this:

http://www.ageconcernportsmouth.org....ex.cfm?id=3801

You could either be a lunchee or a volunteer though neither may be your cup of tea, just an idea............

Beedubya

Thanks to everybody for your good wishes on my getting a job and how wonderful to hear from butterfly Anna (), ED/Peigi and Denise again, all settling down nicely. Fantastic news on that job Peigi, I so have my fingers crossed for you.

We have had nowhere near the great weather the Southerners of you have had, we did have one really good week, but sadly that seems to have died down. It seems to be gloomy most mornings then the sun appears for a wee bit about lunch time, but not too bad considering this IS the UK after all.

Well I have had more than a few "dark days" this past week, despite having my own flat, car and a job to look forward to.

It was mainly guilt driven about "abandoning" my family in Australia and worry over money, etc. but I seem to have turned the corner and am getting out and about today, I don't think any one of us comes back here feeling 100% jumping for joy and glee, it is such a huge thing to do and in some ways (our age?) is harder than emigrating was in the first place.

I am so looking forward to getting back to work, I think that I am mostly missing the mental stimulation as I do find being on my own I get bored very easily.

So folks I am signing off now as I am going to try and find a local car boot sale with my very much used sat nav in hand.

jasper123

Many Many thanks go out to those who replied to my last post and for all the help you all gave me, rest assured I WILL be putting a lot of this info to work,
Everything is really going good for me at home --- it really is ---- except the friends thing, but I will just put more effort into this socializing thing, just not used to it you see,
Anyway thanks again to you all for caring,
Thanks to Englismum and Barb for the links and info,
And thanks to trotty, Denise, Aries and Blackswan for your replies and sugestions and info,
With all this knowledge I should be able to come up with a friend or two but
yes it will take time though, Ive been home for almost 6 months now, Phew dont seem possible and Im just starting to realise how huge this thing is, you know for us Expats to want a new life after being Away from home for so long, especially the ones amongst us who have lived in our adopted country for 3 or 4 decades, and there are many of us on here like that,
Take care,
Rodney.

jasper123

Hi Barb,
Good to know you are turning the corner, you certainly do not need to feel any guilt whatsoever about leaving your family in Australia, this is your second shot at living at home Barb and you know that you are where you need to be now, your home, you have a Job to start shortly (CONGRATS) again on that, you have a little flat and a car ----- ha ha thats great you even have wheels after such a short time
Barb you mention the age thing when we come back home ------ yes indeed it plays a very big part in everything, there are advantages and also many disadvantages, and when we are older of course its much harder to return home to settle down, to relax, to try and forget our problems and fears and (IT IS) much harder then when we Emigrated to that far away country all those years ago when we were young and full of life,
I kind of envy Anna in Malta --- shes my age and it seems that since leaving America she has found a new lease of life, she feels young again and full of life and she seems to be loving life, ---- why do I feel so old
TAKE CARE
Rodney.

jasper123

Yep just two a day still, now and again I smoke 3 or 4 but only when Im feeling down, and on those days I tend to have 2 shots of booze instead of my usual one purely for mediational purpose of course

jasper123

Pegie/easterndawn, Absolutely great to read another post from you, And good luck on the Job,
You are still my inspiration.
You deserve the best after all that you have gone through and after all the hard work and trying and hustling you put into everything,
Take care,
Rodney.

HighTide

Hope you managed to find a car boot sale. That's exactly what we did today. You can sure pick up some good buys there. For us it was plants today which I have spent the afternoon planting. After that I continued my fight with the Ivy growing on the free stone wall. To think I tried so hard to grow Ivy up the wall of my balcony in Vancouver. Here it is a different story as if left to grow will start to cause problems with the wall.

We are currently surrounded by scaffolding as we have a new roof being installed along with electrics being upgraded. It is just such a mess at the moment. Anyway by the time the container ship arrives it should be finished. It seems to have taken a bit of a detour via Sicilly, Naples and currently Rome. I guess the May 21st. arrival they gave us at Tilbury was somewhat optomistic. LOL
Hope this coming week is much better for you Barb.
Corrie has been pretty good lately don't ya think !

cheers

Was this an anticipated repair?

I like tea

Thank you Beedubya for your realistic asessment of life as an expat when returning home.

Like many of you I am in the process of getting my house ready to sell and this will enable me to plan for the future ( how much money I will have for retirement).

However, it's not going to plan as I was advised to do some renovating first as everything was a bit tired and old fashoined. Getting tradesman to come and give quotes is a nightmare. I am appalled at their attitude - not turning up or turning up to be very arrogant, to turning up and then not giving a quote. I have wasted so much time and energy its taking its toll. I am not over capitialising and have set myself a realistic budget.

I have never liked the Australian way of doing business always felt I was being 'ripped off' and I just wonder where all the ethical, honest people are ?

I have just spent the weekend on my own again not spoken to anyone since Friday evening and this is what life's like for me most of the time when I'm not at work. I realise my children have their own lives to lead but do they not realise how lonely it is being a divorcee with no family?

My mood is very depressed and I just wonder if my goal of returning home will come to fruition and will it be all worth it. My fear is that 'the grass is greener' will turn out to be an illusion and that I will just be as lonely and out of place as I am here.

I read this thread everyday but don't often post, however after this weekend needed to talk to someone.

Kinds regards to everyone who has made it back you are my inspiration.

HighTide

Yes it was taken into account with the purchase price. It was an original slate roof 100 years old but the overgrown Wysteria had taken it's toll over the years. Now much trimmed down and managable.

cheers

'Go for it gurl'

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

As you have read on here many posters have successfully pulled off the move.

Keep posting and welcome aboard.

Cheers