Bud the Wiser

......... with a fair degree of accuracy.

Found this on the internet..............

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here's some of what I learned:
* Almost everyone is very polite
* The food is generally outstanding
* There are no guns
* There are too many narrow stairs
* Everything is just a little bit different
* The pubs close too early
* Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
* You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
* Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
* Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
* There are very well behaved dogs everywhere
* People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
* Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
* Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
* The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
* Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
* Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
* The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
* "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
* All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
* There's no dress code
* Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
* They eat with their forks upside down
* English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
* They don't use facecloths or napkins
* The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything.
* There are hardly any cops or police cars.
• There are 5,000 year old rocks still standing around. No one is sure why
* When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
* Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
* Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them
* Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
* HP sauce is better then catsup
* Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
* After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
* The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
* Folks don't always lock their bikes
* It's completely normal to see people dressing different and speaking different languages
* Electronic devices work fine with just a plug adapter.
* Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
* If someone buys you a drink you must do the same.
* There are no guns
* Look right, walk left
* It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American
* Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
* There's no AC.
* Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
* Gas is "petrol", it costs about $7 a gallon and is sold by the liter
* If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Always.
* You don't have to tip, really!
* Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
* Everyone here has a passport, only 14% of Americans do.
* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in.
* Walking is the national pastime
* Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
* They took the street signs down during WWII but haven't put them all back up yet.
* Everyone enjoys a good joke
* There are no guns
* Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
* There are no window screens
* You can get on a bus and end up in Paris.
* Everyone knows more about our history then we do
* Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
* The newspapers can be awful
* Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying
* Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
* Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
* The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
* Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
* Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
* The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, then it's "chairz")
* The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, then-£1-£2-£5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
* Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money.
* Cars don't have bumper stickers
* Most doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
* By law, there are no crappy, old cars
* When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
* BBC 4 is NPR
* Everything closes at 1700 (5pm)
* Very few people smoke
* You're defined by your accent
* No one in Cornwall knows what a Cornish Game Hen is
* Soccer is a religion, religion is a sport
* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
* The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
• Drinks don't come with ice
* There are far fewer fat English people
* There are a lot of healthy old folks wandering around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv.
* If you're over 60 and English, you get free bus, rail travel and tv.
* Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
* Every pub has a pet drunk
* Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it.
* Cake is one of the major food groups.
* Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful.
* There are still no guns
* Towel warmers!
* Cheers

Perth

Saw this on facebook the other day. A nice antidote to those who only see the negative side of the UK. Being in the US, I can identify with the repetitious "there are no guns" statement.

Bud the Wiser

There are some neat observations though. I especially liked the........"Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms."....... amongst others.

robin1234

Long, but surprisingly insightful. I only saw one inaccuracy (that TV is free for over 60s.) I liked the one about beer not being served warm, but at the right temperature....

Perth

Yes! One of my favourites

Perth

Also free rail travel for over 60s.

robin1234

Good idea though

Pulaski

"Very few people smoke", while arguably absolutely true, it is not relatively true as smoking is much more common in the UK than the US.

Shard

Car bumper stickers - good point.

michali

Love it! But very few people smoke?! One of the most surprising things to me having returned over a year ago now, is how many people do in fact still smoke!

Editha

All of them?

Seems to have confused Britain with Canada.

I do.

There is an historical debate to be had, but never mind.

And they are called idiots.

Seriously misleading.

I wish.

That's cheek from a Yank.
___

robin1234

I agree with all the above nit picks, but overall I think the list is good. Coffee, definitely generally better quality in UK than US supermarkets. In England I can get a good quality coffee at any high street supermarket. In the U.S. I have to send off to a specialist high price roaster in NYC to get something acceptable. Back in the 1970s it was the other way around, mass market coffee in the U.S. was generally very good quality...

scot47

Free TV licence is for over 75s. Free rail travel ? Since when ?