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I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Old Feb 1st 2013, 11:13 pm
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by vikingsail
MissBetty I follow your story and you are an inspiration at least to me. I posted this link in a separate thread a while ago. It is something I watch when I am feeling down as a great uplifter - along the lines of Dunrovings mindfulness..

https://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?...&v=nj2ofrX7jAk
Thank you for posting this again! I had seen it when you first posted but couldn't remember where I saw it. I have shared it with my best friend, also an immigrant, but from Germany. I will miss her when we go home.
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Old Feb 1st 2013, 11:20 pm
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by jemima55
MissBetty, when it came to moving back (from the US), although it was the thing I most wanted to do, I got tearful. I put it down to a dislike of all the disruption associated with upping sticks, and maybe my mind and body were longing for the settled life I had been living.
Regarding mindfulness, and the way your thoughts go round and round, a therapist explained it to me like this. Picture your thoughts as a gaggle of chattering monkeys. (It's a Buddhist idea, apparently). When they seem to be getting too repetitive and disobedient tell those monkeys to shut up! Oddly, they turn tail and b***er off elsewhere.
It's helped me as I am inclined to obsess over things.
Like you I worried about all the "What ifs?" of coming back, but then realised I might be preparing myself for problems that might never occur.
So, monkeys, that's all I've got to say for today!
OMG, this is me too, obsessing with the what ifs Thank you for the monkey analogy. It really helps.
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Old Feb 1st 2013, 11:30 pm
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by MissBetty
Lol! It can be, its never dull that's for sure! I'm actually keeping a bit of a journal atm so maybe I'll turn it into a book one day?!!!

I've just come back from a job. Was met outside the house by a drunk man with one eye and one arm () who said he's just moved here to be with his girlfriend and she was inside on the floor, drunk and he couldn't get her up. I dutifully followed him into the house to be confronted with this HUGE black lady who was up, running around and quite angry that he'd called for an ambulance. She ran at me screaming at me to "f*** off!" so I high tailed it out of there - trying very hard not to laugh!!! Seriously - you couldn't make this stuff up ha ha ha!

Yes its hard to make friends here and when people I really like leave it makes me feel so sad! Still its nearly my turn
Oh my, you certainly do have a book in you! I think it is natural to have the wobblies. I have them and we are not going for a few years yet. Someone used the analogy of the fear on your wedding day

Still, it is really hard to lose the few friends one has managed to make. It makes you wonder whether you would have had more friends around you had you stayed home, right?

I do hope it gets better for you as time gets closer. Will you be going home to your Mum in Brighton?
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 12:27 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by perthhomeschool
Oh my, you certainly do have a book in you! I think it is natural to have the wobblies. I have them and we are not going for a few years yet. Someone used the analogy of the fear on your wedding day

Still, it is really hard to lose the few friends one has managed to make. It makes you wonder whether you would have had more friends around you had you stayed home, right?

I do hope it gets better for you as time gets closer. Will you be going home to your Mum in Brighton?
It seems to be the night for it, just got back from yet another assault, alcohol, crazy people and hot weather do not mix!

I just think its weird that I am all churned up about going home, back to familiar faces and places, when I moved to Australia (all alone with no support) without a care in the world - can't figure it out! I want to go though SO badly! The days here are just dragging now, I can't wait to get on with my life, right now I feel like everything is on hold and I'm just treading water. I do think though its because I'm on my own so much for days at a time, I'm trying my best to be calm and logical but its hard some days

Its very transient up here, people move on all the time as a lot of our staff are locums. I'm happy for my friends who are going off to better things but at the same time I feel so wistful watching them leave one by one.

I've got my own flat in Hastings Old Town, its a great little place and I really like it. I nearly sold it last year as I thought I should move somewhere else when I came back, make a fresh start and all that? The sale fell through though so I kind of decided it was fate and took it off the market. My shipment should arrive in the UK anyday now, my family are going round to unpack everything for me so I can move straight back in
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 1:42 am
  #35  
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Miss Betty, I admire you and the job you do and you should write that book. I was thinking about something you could do to fill in your time. Now this might not be your thing, but researching your family history is very time consuming and very interesting and a lot of it can be done on line. I worked on a couple of branches mine a few years ago and was amazed at how much I discovered and the time just seemed to fly by.

By researching, I have reconnected with distant relatives that I haven't seen since I was a child and also got my Dad's service records from WWII, which were then interpreted by the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers. They wrote a "potted history" of his life in the Army and in the Middle East.
That was very special to me as he died when I was a very young child and now I have another piece of his life to treasure.

Once I am a bit more settled here, I hope to research another branch. Maybe I'll find that I am descended from nobility and there is a Highland Estate that is waiting for me to claim it.
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 2:03 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by MissBetty
Yes, when I finally realised that 'Next Christmas' he wouldn't be giving me his heart and we wouldn't be running around in the snow together wearing matching jumpers from Marks & Spencer I was crushed. I'm over it now though .............just lol!

Btw I love your signature, 'The Soldier' is one of my favourite poems!


A quick reminder ......February is a short month. That might help with the waiting

Good luck to you
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 3:11 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by MissBetty
That was awesome, thanks so much (even cried a little bit, oh dear, here I go again lol!)

One of the things I love about BE is how a lot of people, myself included, have a greater appreciation for their own country now after living overseas. As I've reiterated I DON'T hate Australia but I really love my own country so much more now!

I'm trying not to look at my return home through rose tinted glasses but I genuinely feel I do have a better quality of life in the UK. I have a small flat there, not a McMansion like I had here, and I earn double here what I do in the UK but these things mean nothing to me at the end of the day. Its true that I don't have anyone to consider but myself and even though I'm kind of 'downsizing' my life I know its for the best. Here yes, I earn the big bucks, but I feel so trapped and miserable. In the UK I wouldn't earn as much but, as a freelance medic, I get to do all sorts of different medic work - offshore, medical repatriation, front line bank work, cruise liners, first aid teaching, film and tv - I'd never get to do that here. Am I scared? You bet I am! I know it will take time to build up contacts and get a foot in the door but I love what I do and I'm hopeful that employers will give me a chance!

I couldn't give a toss that I live near one of the most fabulous beaches in Qld - there were 3 massive crocs down there this week right on the shoreline FFS! I saw them as I was driving on the beach in my troop carrier last week, they were massive and they just made me shudder - ugh!!!! I don't care about the sandy beach and the coconut trees, I'd rather be on the seafront at Brighton eating hot doughnuts with my Mum!

Most of my friends think I am mad to go back but they haven't actually LIVED overseas so they don't understand. I shrug it off though, like I've said previously, people think if they move to another country all their problems will magically disappear but life just isn't that simple!

When I am back in the UK I feel like I belong, when I am home I feel like a different person to the person I am here. I feel more alive and just happier in general, sometimes here I just feel invisible - no one is interested in me or anything I have to say or offer, if I do have a bad day I keep it all bottled up if I can for fear of the 'whinging pom' label!!!

Its been a great experience to live here but I can't wait to go now. I will never ever take my family, my friends or my country for granted ever again trust me!

Good luck with your plans and can I just say how much I enjoyed reading your 'Xmas Visit' post? It was so well written, loved it!
Thanks, and your post really resonates with me, and I'm sure with a lot of others. Substitute where I am, my job and I could be saying the same words. I could not care less that I am surrounded by beaches and activities that people save up and fly too from all over the world. Thats not being selfish - just the realization they are no longer for me. I know where I feel at one.

I too love my job and wish I could blink and take it to the UK. It would be so nice to not have to suffer the indignity of being asked if I am a US citizen - its happened in every job I have had in the last 16 years here at some point and this latest job is no different!

Good news this week I received news of a Skype type interview -so for those who have given up hope on that (including me) if you persevere as I have been doing then perhaps, just perhaps there is a God somewhere and maybe it works Now I have to ace the interview ...small steps, small steps

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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 3:26 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by vikingsail
Thanks, and your post really resonates with me, and I'm sure with a lot of others. Substitute where I am, my job and I could be saying the same words. I could not care less that I am surrounded by beaches and activities that people save up and fly too from all over the world. Thats not being selfish - just the realization they are no longer for me. I know where I feel at one.

I too love my job and wish I could blink and take it to the UK. It would be so nice to not have to suffer the indignity of being asked if I am a US citizen - its happened in every job I have had in the last 16 years here at some point and this latest job is no different!

Good news this week I received news of a Skype type interview -so for those who have given up hope on that (including me) if you persevere as I have been doing then perhaps, just perhaps there is a God somewhere and maybe it works Now I have to ace the interview ...small steps, small steps
Good luck with your interview
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 7:38 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by lf1
Miss Betty, I admire you and the job you do and you should write that book. I was thinking about something you could do to fill in your time. Now this might not be your thing, but researching your family history is very time consuming and very interesting and a lot of it can be done on line. I worked on a couple of branches mine a few years ago and was amazed at how much I discovered and the time just seemed to fly by.

By researching, I have reconnected with distant relatives that I haven't seen since I was a child and also got my Dad's service records from WWII, which were then interpreted by the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers. They wrote a "potted history" of his life in the Army and in the Middle East.
That was very special to me as he died when I was a very young child and now I have another piece of his life to treasure.

Once I am a bit more settled here, I hope to research another branch. Maybe I'll find that I am descended from nobility and there is a Highland Estate that is waiting for me to claim it.
Wow that's fab! I love stuff like that, would be great to find out about my ancestors. I know that my nan was an ambulance driver during the war (true story!) and she was in the FANY's lol lol! Not matter how many times she explained it stood for First Aid Nursing Yeomanry it still reduces me to tears of laughter!
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 7:38 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by vikingsail
Thanks, and your post really resonates with me, and I'm sure with a lot of others. Substitute where I am, my job and I could be saying the same words. I could not care less that I am surrounded by beaches and activities that people save up and fly too from all over the world. Thats not being selfish - just the realization they are no longer for me. I know where I feel at one.

I too love my job and wish I could blink and take it to the UK. It would be so nice to not have to suffer the indignity of being asked if I am a US citizen - its happened in every job I have had in the last 16 years here at some point and this latest job is no different!

Good news this week I received news of a Skype type interview -so for those who have given up hope on that (including me) if you persevere as I have been doing then perhaps, just perhaps there is a God somewhere and maybe it works Now I have to ace the interview ...small steps, small steps
Ooh good luck!
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 7:39 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by Sugarmooma
A quick reminder ......February is a short month. That might help with the waiting

Good luck to you
Thanks! AND we are 3 days into the month already - yay!
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 7:45 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Well since my last 2 jobs with crazy drunk ladies tonight I went out to a man with a sudden onset of chest pain, never had it before and turns out he was having a massive heart attack. Got some back up and rushed him in but he went down hill so fast and he died, despite our best efforts, 5 mins after arriving at hospital.

Now I know we can all say that his number was up and many other cliches but here's the thing - he was only a couple of years older than me. Makes you think, doesn't it?????

Ok well my eyes are hanging out of my head so I'm going to try and grab a couple of hours sleep. Nite all!
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Old Feb 2nd 2013, 11:55 pm
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by MissBetty
Well since my last 2 jobs with crazy drunk ladies tonight I went out to a man with a sudden onset of chest pain, never had it before and turns out he was having a massive heart attack. Got some back up and rushed him in but he went down hill so fast and he died, despite our best efforts, 5 mins after arriving at hospital.

Now I know we can all say that his number was up and many other cliches but here's the thing - he was only a couple of years older than me. Makes you think, doesn't it?????

Ok well my eyes are hanging out of my head so I'm going to try and grab a couple of hours sleep. Nite all!
Yes Betty it certainly does! It's a shame you couldn't save the poor fellow but be proud of what you do, hats off to you.
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Old Feb 3rd 2013, 2:15 am
  #44  
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Curytops & MissBetty thank you for the wishes. Does anyone have extra tips for video style interviewing. I have researched the do's and don't s a little on this forum but am interested in specific positive/ negative do's and do nots when interviewing.
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Old Feb 3rd 2013, 2:30 am
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Default Re: I think today I've gone 'troppo' - help!

Originally Posted by vikingsail
Curytops & MissBetty thank you for the wishes. Does anyone have extra tips for video style interviewing. I have researched the do's and don't s a little on this forum but am interested in specific positive/ negative do's and do nots when interviewing.
Remember, all they can see is you - they can't see the notes, reminders, photos of the interview panel with names, etc., that you have pasted on the wall or on the desk in front of you.

One of my former students had all sorts of prompts around him when he interviewed for a job (he got it) ... it's not unusual when thinking of the answer to a question to look away from the questioner so as long as you aren't looking too far left and right or up (don't paste anything to the ceiling!), they have no idea what you are looking at.

It would be distracting to have too much "stuff" around you (in fact, come to think of it, the student in question had a phone interview, hence he could have as much as he wanted - he had books strewn around, etc.) - but little things ike the names of the interview panel (if you know them) can help in case you are worried you might forget them. It can make a big impression if you ask questions directly to an individual by name, so having the names written in clear view would help with someting like that.

Good luck!

[Oh, also, assume there will be some slight technical hitches so when they happen you can show you are adaptable. A slight pause in audio is very common so maybe practice waiting allowing pauses between exchanges - it's so easy to assume you can have the rapid-fire conversations you can have in person, but with video interviewing you have to adjust to the idea of making sure the person has finished speaking rather than "interjecting". If there aren't any technical hitches, then you will feel even more confident because you were prepared for them in case they did ... and be prepared to maybe talk more slowly and clearly (similar; audio issues) - and you can potentially use "audio problems" to buy some time "I'm sorry, the audio is a bit muffled, could I ask you to repeat the question?"]

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