How has it changed for you?
 

Hi everyone. Well I would say that most of us posting on here are making plans or thinking about returning to our homeland. :)

I really don't like the phrase "living the dream" but I'll have to use it on this post, as most of us emigrated to live out our dream. I'm asking 2 questions:

1. What was your idea of "living the dream" before emigrating?

2. What is your idea of living the dream now?

My answers:

1. To have my own home, good counselling job, me and my family to feel
Settled and happy.

2. To be surrounded by my whole family, rushing around the kitchen making tea
And laughing with my sister.

Funny how things change. :)

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

Didn't really move away to live the dream (I loathe that phrase!) we moved because it was the best opportunity at the time!

I guess my priorities are family and health with a bit of a financial buffer so I have freedom of choice. However, now living back in UK after a life sentence in Aus (next time I may commit murder, you get less time in jail LOL) and I am appreciating so much more than I ever thought I would - weather, countryside, history, all the usual suspects as well as being there for family. A far better lifestyle in fact!

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

I posted this link on another thread but think you will find the link on community interesting.

http://www.oecdbetterlifeindex.org/

(Being a rather sad person, I found it ALL interesting)

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

My answers:

1. I moved to California in the late eighties to be with a woman I met from there. She was attractive and fascinating and unlike anyone else I had met in the UK. But I truly think I fell in love with California itself. All those TV shows that were fed to us in the UK from America just clicked into place. I think the 'dream' was the place I experienced... before I woke up.

My 'now' answer is surprisingly similar to yours, pippalonghorn.

2. To be surrounded by my whole family in England, sitting around the kitchen making and drinking tea and laughing with my sister who I am dying to get to know again after 25 years. :)

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

Not sure what dream I was chasing when I moved to the US 17 years ago but now my dream is to be with my family and not miss out on all those irreplaceable times with them.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

Then: We came for an adventure, to see what it was like, to see the amazing scenery, to have a house with some land for a few animals, for a better childhood for my children. (we fell for the hype basically!)

Now: To be truly settled, to own a small house with lots of character, to become part of our wider families lives again, to appreciate Britain's countryside, to be able to visit Europe occasionally, to see a few live bands.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

To start a new married life in a neutral country we could make our own and have an adventure.Yes we had a Canadian dream which was just that "a dream"! Not much difference here to other countries.

We now find that our priorities have changed.
Want to be closer to family and friends, Quality of life back in UK (we did not know how much we would miss it) ie sense of humour and BBC tv and our heritage
As retirees we feel we have more opportunities in UK than here in Canada

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

:) I think that quality of life and family are going to be mentioned a lot.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

We came for the sunshine, better work life balance, a pool and outdoor lifestyle plus the experience for the children and family.

In reality in Darwin (and also in brissie to a slightly lesser extent)

It's too hot to go outside, too many bites/flies to do anything so we stay in
The sea is full of stingers crocs sharks and the beach can be a bit boring after a while
Husband doing 65 hour weeks
I often have to force kids into the pool... Though I am partial to sitting in with a glass of chilled white!

But hey after 3 years it has been a great experience but I yearn green hills, log fires, m&s food, to walk my dog in a national park and family

We will return to the UK in 2014/2015 ....

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

I do find it amusing when I see people talking about the better work life balance, it is well known that on average Australians work longer hours but the perception is that somehow you will have more time with the family. The word to remember here is PERCEPTION, lots of potential migrants prefer to imagine they will have more time at home as it is hardly a selling point if they are actually going to have less time at home. Often the reality doesnt live up to the dream.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

My husband probably prefers the time he has off ... Though maybe that's cos we rent and don't have the jobs required of home ownership!
I think reality down under shows show people clocking off at 3 pm and heading down the beach....maybe we expected a bit of that. As a teacher my workload is far less than the UK....

But still want to go back :-)

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

We just thought "why not give it a go" one day, we had never been to Aus, did not know a sole there, did not have jobs,home etc lined up and did not have any preconceptions of how Aus was/would be, after 12 years of living a decent life in Aus we still headed home to the UK. I think the feeling of belonging is one of the main reasons we headed home and everything else, family,culture,history,Europe a short hop away is a bonus.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

We just thought one day "lets go for it" we applied for Aus (after picking it out of a hat) and within a matter of months we were off, we had never been, did not know a sole there, had no jobs, no home and no preconceptions of how life would be. Fast forward 12.5 years later and after having not a "bad" life in Aus we returned home, the main thing for us we feel like we belong in the UK and never had that feeling in Aus, we love our History, Culture, being close to Europe and family and friends is another bonus.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

We were in Brisbane around 12 years and it always felt temporary for us even though I grew up in Australia. I think all it shows is that nowhere is for everyone.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

Having done two years in France to try new culture and give the kids a look at what life is like outside the uk I still feel like I don't fit in here. Great beaches and overall really nice people but now I'm longing for a life back in the uk. Sometimes you have to go away for a while to know where you belong. The kids have done great here both fluent in French and are still young enough to return to uk, am determined to move back however complicated it may be to my real home within the next two years and can't wait. Missing good pubs, real selection of cuisine from all over the world, convenience, family, friends, opportunity, countryside and the general warmth of the uk people. Good luck to all who are hoping to return to uk from their adventures abroad.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

[QUOTE=Fromthenorth;... Sometimes you have to go away for a while to know where you belong. [/QUOTE]

How true is that!!

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

+1

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

+ me too. :) Its the things that I took for granted that I miss the most. The travelling around Europe that I did not do and having a good look around England too. Im doing these when I get home. :)

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

Couldn't agree more, just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure it out.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

We certainly have done that (travelled around the UK) since we returned home and every visit to a new area has been a pleasure.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

1) Before I left, living the dream primarily involved having a job. Back then, they were in short supply in the UK, and I got four overseas offers within a month. The dream then evolved as other opportunities arose. When I first discovered the US on rugby tour, I was taken aback at the contrast between the tangible air of optimism there compared to the drab, grey, pessimistic environment where I grew up in the UK. It subsequently involved spending every day surrounded by people with a positive, can-do attitude.

2) Now it involves retiring early enough and with enough cash to enjoy a lot more spare time than I do currently. I look forward to more short trips to Europe, more walks and bike rides, and more time to spend with friends and visit family. One thing it does not involve is having "stuff". Never bought a new car and never will, don't need to buy the latest phone, or watch, or iPod every 6-12 months. Oh, I also look forward to developing my interest and knowledge about red wine. Wouldn't mind doing a tour of the French vineyards, for example. :thumbup:

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

Sorry, completely OT but I just noticed your avatar - is that a Griffon?

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

No, she's a wire haired vizsla. :)

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

I know exactly what you mean, although things have not been terrible for me here I feel like I've wasted time and now I know I want, no need, to go back to uk. For me I didn't realise how much the geographical location of my roots would pull so strongly but the truth remains that if I had not tried this expat lifestyle I would live my life wondering. At least now I know the simple things of home that I took for granted I would warmly embrace now. It's going to be a lot of work to get back and when you've made up your mind to return the effort to make it happen seems enormous. Bon courage to all

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

I don't like the phrase, 'living the dream', in fact, I find it quite juvenile. Worse still when I heard some one just say, 'L.T.D.' in it's initials. Although I've just smiled at the irony of ltd being short for limited.

1. Sorry, no dream. I always knew what NZ was like ! Visits to NZ to visit prospective in-laws in Auckland in 1994, prior to getting married in Britain later that year, 1996/7 for Christmas and New Year, and again in October 2006 as our twin nieces had their first birthday told me all I needed to know about NZ and life there. Basically, it's all very well but can we go home now ? When, in UK summer 2006, my husband said we could sell our house in Britain, buy one in NZ and live mortgage free, both of us with a job and therefore more disposable income I thought but didn't say, 'well, sounds good in theory'. I just said, 'ok'. My mum had died in September 2005 and I was still to grief stricken to think straight. Basically I just agreed to my husbands' idea to close down the subject so I could get back to my grief. I thought coming to NZ would make my husband happy and therefore us happier as a couple. Guess what ? We're still the same people.

2. My idea of living the dream now ? Still no dream as I'm wide awake. However, I look forward to being in England. Just being there. Applying for a job and maybe even getting one, Christmas in winter, supermarkets and clothes shops that I prefer, maybe even getting back into BMF circuit training, maybe returning to my weekly diet class.

There's diet and fitness initiatives in NZ, however, my 'dream' is to get back to what I once knew. I've kept some of the (size 12) clothes I had on arrival in NZ over two and a half years ago, when they fitted me. One of my goals is to carry on attending aerobics classes and dieting until I drop enough kilos to fit back into them. (Don't all laugh at once !)

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

:D you'll do it snap shot. We may all emigrate for different reasons but we all have one thing in common and that's to go home. :D

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

I can relate a lot to your situation on moving abroad when your going through an emotional turmoil then realising that you don't turn into someone else but infact you are the same person but now in a different country and culture. Just being to be in England right now and be me is all I'm looking for now. I dream to be back there. Unfortunately I think it's going to take roughly three years for us before we can return. At the minute I'm training and eating well determined to be a better fitter me for going back.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

It's interesting to read people's comments about being the same person wherever you live. That is true to an extent but I'd say my 23 years overseas definitely changed me, substantially. I am nowhere near the same person I would have been if I had spent all or most of my life in the UK.

However, I can see the point that expecting an overseas move to change you can end in disappointment. In my first expat posting I saw many expats who had moved in the hope they would solve personal problems (with their marriage, with drink problems, with being unhappy, whatever). If anything, moving and then realising it made no difference (in fact as far as drinking problems go, it made things worse!) left them in a worse state, because they added disappointment or disillusionment to the mix.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

or having the best of both worlds - here & there or home & away is ideal for us

1. The pipe dream (there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel) for us was the adventure, prospects, opportunity - better than what was available for us (no light at the end of the tunnel) at the time living in the cold, damp, dreary, small minded, bad attitude, negative & miserable outlook on life of the majority of the folks & the establishment of the mid 60's UK.

Did it happen ... 100% positive it was the right move.

2. More or less what we have at present retired at 66 years of age, our needs & wants are small & pleasurable. We are at the light at the end of the tunnel, living out that pre-emigration adventure today (knock on wood) healthy, moderate lifestyle in safe surroundings, without restrictions to come & to go whenever or wherever life choices take our fancy at a moments notice. Material things are unimportant (the jones's can do whatever they wish) & we no longer look for or at accumulating further wealth or to seek the opportunity (fame or fortune) or better prospects.

Re: How has it changed for you?
 

"living the dream" before emigrating:
I moved to be with my USC wife. The American dream of the big house, car, job etc was great for a while, but then it lost the shiny veneer. It provided me with opportunities I would not have had previously, but as I have got older my priorities have changed.....people and places matter, not stuff.

living the dream now:
I want a much better work/life balance so I can actually spend time with my family instead of working 60+ hours per week, being close to my mum and brother and friends, downsizing to live in a flat, only want 1 car, being able to use public transport, walking in the country, a nice pub and real ale.