Mush

Tony Robbins once had a couple in his event in Vegas. The man wanted to return to his home state where he had lived as a young man while the wife was against the idea. Tony helped the man realise that the place he is yearning to go back is not going make him feel how he did when he was there as a young man since he himself had changed.

So the reasons have to be clear and solid and not just based on feelings and nostalgia. In my case I know I cannot live in Saudi for ever and if I have to make a life in UK, after having benefited from being here, then it should be sooner than later. There are things I want to do which I cannot do here.

Barrybriggs

For most people homesickness is a normal feeling when living in another country. For some it is a stronger feeling than others. I left England some years ago to live here in Japan with my Japanese wife and two daughters. It has been a challenge. Fortunately, Japan is a comfortable, safe society to live in. Things work here. But, despite trips back to England now and then, the feeling of homesickness remains. In many ways it is a longing for the past, which in many ways does not exist. So, I believe Nostalgia would be a better description. Even people living in England have nostalgia.

janetj

I have just joined the site today, I found it by sitting in the wee small hours in desperation of homesickness and just typed in the word and found this. I so identify with what you are saying ..... I have married an American and although it is beautiful and sunny and such a lovely place I am living, my heart is aching and feels torn out every time I see an English programme or see a Facebook post with a familiar wood. I don't know what to do ... my grandchildren are small but now growing up in England and I feel I am just watching the clock here and not living and just wanting to be home again. My husband says we can retire there, but that might not be for a few years ... do I go back now, he says it is OK, and be without him, or do I stay here and cry inside ??? I feel quite desperate actually .

Tirytory

Well it sounds like you have the option to at least spend extended periods of time there...best of both worlds for now?

carolearly

Myself and my husband have been living in Italy for 9 years, and get by doing some teaching and pet sitting. For the past 2 years I have wanted to go back to Uk, just a gut feeling, there is my sister there, and 2 really good friends. I have been back and forth these past few months, and got some job agency work. I came back to Italy 3 weeks ago, and I am returning to Uk on Friday hopefully to get a temp job. My husband did not want to return to Uk, but he has since changed his mind. For me homesickness has grown, and i know Uk, is not great, but it is the roots, and familiarity calling me back, + my family. I know its a challenge to start again, getting jobs, a rental etc., but I feel its right for us at the moment to return. Not to say we wont get the old wander lust again, but life is too short to dilly about. I dont regret living in Italy, not trying it at all would be a regret. Its a challenge moving back in your 50s, but bring it on.

Celticspirit

I agree with you Trotty. We came for a year (we thought) on a medical exchange program. Wish we had not had that spirit of adventure 43 years ago....

trottytrue

Celticspirit....we me it was not so much the adventure it was not thinking it though....I know it's pointless say saying "what if" but I did keep a diary prior to moving to the U.S. I have been trying to understand why I made the decision to move and from what I wrote at the time I was not happy a family member was causing me a great deal of problems but I also realize that having had a hysterectomy in the May and moving to the U.S. In August was a really bad idea.....all I can say is you need to give yourself time to understand the changes that are going to take place and if you are living on a shoestring know that going home will not be an option. The Embassy from the country you are moving to should give you information on every aspect of life in the country you are moving to. Nowadays you can research on the internet so that helps....but that feeling of loss never goes away. And losing family and friends is strange because you never saw them age so you find it hard to come to terms with. They are always that young person you left behind.
I always envy those I meet who have made the transition and are very happy and would never think of going home....they mostly think the UK is so different they would never settle.
A last thought on homesickness if you are married to a person who is from the country you are living in they will never understand how you feel.

rebeccajo

Oh, I don't think that's so. I've read many, many stories of international couples where the spouse who didn't move is very supportive and understanding of the migrant spouse.

If you mean they can't completely empathize because they themselves didn't make the move......then I agree that may be impossible.

But I think it's pretty much down to the person as to whether or not they understand what the migrant is going through. Some don't care at all. But IMO that kind of person wouldn't make a very good spouse, period.

trottytrue

Rebbacajo...yes I think they can feel empathy towards you but not truly understand how you really feel and I think many choose to ignore it not because they don't care but if they agree with you then they might have to do something about it....