Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
#376
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 397
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
ha ha, yes i re read it and it looks like a really stupid thing to say.
actually it was a stupid thing to say, thanks for highlighting it....
Nothing wrong with the girls downunder, i just wanted an english girl...
actually it was a stupid thing to say, thanks for highlighting it....
Nothing wrong with the girls downunder, i just wanted an english girl...
#377
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
its certainly a problem that I'm sure many would like to have had
#378
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
sas-lou, that's a rotten situation and I can imagine what a spin you're in. But I assume you still have a home with your husband. If I were you, I'd not let him psyche me into moving. What was the comedy where they divided the house with red sticky tape? He bears a lot of responsibility for your situation and it seems he knows it, so let him pay for his lack of thought and care.
Again some questions. I'm a great one for questions! I ask myself them all the time to help me sort out my mind.
What work were you doing back in the UK? Is it something particularly difficult to find now? What else can you do to earn a living?
Can you find a decent job in Canada? One thing about Ottawa -- the government keeps spending money no matter what!
If you had a decent job in Canada, would you want to stay? Put aside the boys for a moment. You.
You don't want to go back to Leicester. Where would you like to go? Can you? If not, why not?
Try to take a moment or a hundred to breathe deeply, tell yourself you're strong, able, and will be okay, and think about what you really want in life. Then go for it.
Best wishes,
Bev
Again some questions. I'm a great one for questions! I ask myself them all the time to help me sort out my mind.
What work were you doing back in the UK? Is it something particularly difficult to find now? What else can you do to earn a living?
Can you find a decent job in Canada? One thing about Ottawa -- the government keeps spending money no matter what!
If you had a decent job in Canada, would you want to stay? Put aside the boys for a moment. You.
You don't want to go back to Leicester. Where would you like to go? Can you? If not, why not?
Try to take a moment or a hundred to breathe deeply, tell yourself you're strong, able, and will be okay, and think about what you really want in life. Then go for it.
Best wishes,
Bev
#379
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: 9 years in the canadian trucking industry... Niverville MB
Posts: 4,423
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Hi, i am sorry to bother you all, but has anyone returned to the UK after a marriage breakdown in a foreign country with 2 kids in toe and still regretted it.
I was advised by the Canadian forum to visit you lot.
I came to Canada on 8/12/08 as my Canadian husband sponsored me and my 2 boys (13 and 11) .. he has now told me the marriage is over and i really shouldn't of come in the first place, he felt more guilty about the kids than me.
Im in a very bad place emotionally at the moment, and although i know that by returning to the UK i must start from scratch and even put myself in a hostel with my boys (if that is allowed and my mums house is far to small) and hope that i can get a council property. I am also torn as the boys love it here. I only have $13000 to get on with and speaking to an housing organisation yesterday i was told that money would only last me about 4 months. Granted rent in Ottawa is expensive. But i just dont want to go back and start with nothing .. I am from Leicester and it is a shithole, my ex work colleagues are struggling to find work and are now applying for anything and everything.
Unfortunately my husband although sponsoring us, has to pay for us for so many years, he doesnt have a great paying job here so asking for his help is out of the question
I have a lottery ticket for tomorrow so i can hoping my numbers come up and this will not be an issue .. not holding my breath though.
Thanks in advance
I was advised by the Canadian forum to visit you lot.
I came to Canada on 8/12/08 as my Canadian husband sponsored me and my 2 boys (13 and 11) .. he has now told me the marriage is over and i really shouldn't of come in the first place, he felt more guilty about the kids than me.
Im in a very bad place emotionally at the moment, and although i know that by returning to the UK i must start from scratch and even put myself in a hostel with my boys (if that is allowed and my mums house is far to small) and hope that i can get a council property. I am also torn as the boys love it here. I only have $13000 to get on with and speaking to an housing organisation yesterday i was told that money would only last me about 4 months. Granted rent in Ottawa is expensive. But i just dont want to go back and start with nothing .. I am from Leicester and it is a shithole, my ex work colleagues are struggling to find work and are now applying for anything and everything.
Unfortunately my husband although sponsoring us, has to pay for us for so many years, he doesnt have a great paying job here so asking for his help is out of the question
I have a lottery ticket for tomorrow so i can hoping my numbers come up and this will not be an issue .. not holding my breath though.
Thanks in advance
Hey dont give in that easily Sas, i know thats easy for me to say,but for christs sake you went through so much to get here.. Now slog it out girl,prove to every one you can hack it alone here,, get a job even 2 if it means it, take every cent ex must pay and make it work
#380
Banned
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Australia ( victoria )
Posts: 231
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Hi, i am sorry to bother you all, but has anyone returned to the UK after a marriage breakdown in a foreign country with 2 kids in toe and still regretted it.
I was advised by the Canadian forum to visit you lot.
I came to Canada on 8/12/08 as my Canadian husband sponsored me and my 2 boys (13 and 11) .. he has now told me the marriage is over and i really shouldn't of come in the first place, he felt more guilty about the kids than me.
Im in a very bad place emotionally at the moment, and although i know that by returning to the UK i must start from scratch and even put myself in a hostel with my boys (if that is allowed and my mums house is far to small) and hope that i can get a council property. I am also torn as the boys love it here. I only have $13000 to get on with and speaking to an housing organisation yesterday i was told that money would only last me about 4 months. Granted rent in Ottawa is expensive. But i just dont want to go back and start with nothing .. I am from Leicester and it is a shithole, my ex work colleagues are struggling to find work and are now applying for anything and everything.
Unfortunately my husband although sponsoring us, has to pay for us for so many years, he doesnt have a great paying job here so asking for his help is out of the question
I have a lottery ticket for tomorrow so i can hoping my numbers come up and this will not be an issue .. not holding my breath though.
Thanks in advance
I was advised by the Canadian forum to visit you lot.
I came to Canada on 8/12/08 as my Canadian husband sponsored me and my 2 boys (13 and 11) .. he has now told me the marriage is over and i really shouldn't of come in the first place, he felt more guilty about the kids than me.
Im in a very bad place emotionally at the moment, and although i know that by returning to the UK i must start from scratch and even put myself in a hostel with my boys (if that is allowed and my mums house is far to small) and hope that i can get a council property. I am also torn as the boys love it here. I only have $13000 to get on with and speaking to an housing organisation yesterday i was told that money would only last me about 4 months. Granted rent in Ottawa is expensive. But i just dont want to go back and start with nothing .. I am from Leicester and it is a shithole, my ex work colleagues are struggling to find work and are now applying for anything and everything.
Unfortunately my husband although sponsoring us, has to pay for us for so many years, he doesnt have a great paying job here so asking for his help is out of the question
I have a lottery ticket for tomorrow so i can hoping my numbers come up and this will not be an issue .. not holding my breath though.
Thanks in advance
#381
Banned
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Australia ( victoria )
Posts: 231
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
God, you poor thing!!
I felt so sorry for your reading your post.
I have read so many similar stories to yours from women all over the world.
In fact, I think i have finally found something i want to do when i get back to UK. Create some form of help service for women in your situation. There doesnt seem to be a lot of support out there!
This might sound controversial, but in all honesty, why the hell should you have to sit in a foreign land trying to pay back a scumbag mans debts AND try to raise these kids by yourself? I would run back to England just like he did, and if anyone contacts you about HIS debts tell them he left you and you are not responsible for him. :curse:
I would sell off what belongings you cant fit in your car on ebay and drive the hell out of there! Your first priority is you and your children not HIS debts!, and you will get far more help and support back in UK by the sounds of it.
I felt so sorry for your reading your post.
I have read so many similar stories to yours from women all over the world.
In fact, I think i have finally found something i want to do when i get back to UK. Create some form of help service for women in your situation. There doesnt seem to be a lot of support out there!
This might sound controversial, but in all honesty, why the hell should you have to sit in a foreign land trying to pay back a scumbag mans debts AND try to raise these kids by yourself? I would run back to England just like he did, and if anyone contacts you about HIS debts tell them he left you and you are not responsible for him. :curse:
I would sell off what belongings you cant fit in your car on ebay and drive the hell out of there! Your first priority is you and your children not HIS debts!, and you will get far more help and support back in UK by the sounds of it.
Help Me
I Live in germany. In May last year, my husband left me with 3 children and no money. He also ran up so much debt and did not pay his taxes which was why he ran away back to England leaving us here.
I am now left with all his bills amounting to a fair sum of money.
I can''t get work because my children are so young, and i have no family support for when they are ill (the reason why i lost my last job)
Last year, i did the pros & cons and decided that this was a better country to live in. But all my decisions were based on my children. Open spaces, lack of crime, kids can play out on the streets safely etc etc.
But the reality is, I don't speak german. I am very very lonely. As soon as i get a job, any money earned after paying my bills will go to pay back all the debt (which is amounting as we speak, as they keep taking me to court, and i cannot go and represent myself, because i don't speak German and cannot afford an interpreter)
I live on Social Security money here - I have no savings (part of the reason why i didn't go back last year)
My life is dismal here, and i think i should/want return to the UK. I know I would have to be homeless and go to a hostel, because i dont have extended family or anyone to bail me out). But .....i will be able to help my children with their school work, I will be able to get a job - eventually. I could do voluntary work. I will be able to get glasses (which i need desperately, and you cannot get them here from S.Security).
I was so glad to have found this site, because i can't get any advice here, no-one understands my situation. All my friends are german, so they want me to stay (to improve their English - cynic that I am) but i have to rely on so much charity and handouts from friends, i cannot be self sufficient, I even have to have friends read my letters, and i have to accept anything that is handed to me, because i cant complain (in german)
I have American friends who help me out, but they all leave (Army or Airforce) so can't keep friends who speak my language.
I know the situation is really bleak in Uk, but i would rather be miserable in english (at least i can complain) than in german. I'm so confused.
Second question is - how would i get back to uk. Would i have to leave everything i have here, and just go with my little car and a few clothes. Is there any support agencies out there that could help me with removals/transportation - i dread the thought of starting my life over with nothing and 3 kids. I'm 41 and tired.
Does anybody have any advice for me.
Anne-Marie
I Live in germany. In May last year, my husband left me with 3 children and no money. He also ran up so much debt and did not pay his taxes which was why he ran away back to England leaving us here.
I am now left with all his bills amounting to a fair sum of money.
I can''t get work because my children are so young, and i have no family support for when they are ill (the reason why i lost my last job)
Last year, i did the pros & cons and decided that this was a better country to live in. But all my decisions were based on my children. Open spaces, lack of crime, kids can play out on the streets safely etc etc.
But the reality is, I don't speak german. I am very very lonely. As soon as i get a job, any money earned after paying my bills will go to pay back all the debt (which is amounting as we speak, as they keep taking me to court, and i cannot go and represent myself, because i don't speak German and cannot afford an interpreter)
I live on Social Security money here - I have no savings (part of the reason why i didn't go back last year)
My life is dismal here, and i think i should/want return to the UK. I know I would have to be homeless and go to a hostel, because i dont have extended family or anyone to bail me out). But .....i will be able to help my children with their school work, I will be able to get a job - eventually. I could do voluntary work. I will be able to get glasses (which i need desperately, and you cannot get them here from S.Security).
I was so glad to have found this site, because i can't get any advice here, no-one understands my situation. All my friends are german, so they want me to stay (to improve their English - cynic that I am) but i have to rely on so much charity and handouts from friends, i cannot be self sufficient, I even have to have friends read my letters, and i have to accept anything that is handed to me, because i cant complain (in german)
I have American friends who help me out, but they all leave (Army or Airforce) so can't keep friends who speak my language.
I know the situation is really bleak in Uk, but i would rather be miserable in english (at least i can complain) than in german. I'm so confused.
Second question is - how would i get back to uk. Would i have to leave everything i have here, and just go with my little car and a few clothes. Is there any support agencies out there that could help me with removals/transportation - i dread the thought of starting my life over with nothing and 3 kids. I'm 41 and tired.
Does anybody have any advice for me.
Anne-Marie
#382
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,769
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Just to give feedback on this thread, a lot of people sent me PM's with different comments some of them good, some of them not so good. Mostly people were very happy to be back in the UK. Some were undecided and a few were clearly planning to ping pong back to wherever they'd left again feeling that the UK wasn't for them.
Some people who went back for family were very aggrieved that after the novelty wore off, their families carried on as normal as though they weren't there. I guess the moral here is don't make family the only reason for returning.
On the whole though, most people were relieved and settled to be home.
Some people who went back for family were very aggrieved that after the novelty wore off, their families carried on as normal as though they weren't there. I guess the moral here is don't make family the only reason for returning.
On the whole though, most people were relieved and settled to be home.
#383
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: doncaster, south yorkshire
Posts: 69
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Nope dont regret a thing the UK is FAB! Eat my shorts! to the folk on here who dis the UK! The cultural diversity, the NHS, the council (even though they only empty my bin once a fortnight), the freedom, the mad (hysterical) political correctness, my dog and his freedom to go anywhere he likes (seriously infringed in canada)and sniff whatever he wants (he is well trained though) my back garden with no scary what the hell is that (racoons, was white - not obviously a raccoon), the nearness of every thing if i want to bowl its there ditto swimming, the grass, the trees, the hp sauce!, the jones's, the maddness, the sheer Britishness, Jeremy Kyle, attitude, Government, politics, PUBS!, roast beef and yorkshire puds, earning decent money, spending said money and getting quality stuff, Qualificatons that mean something, choice in supermarkets, veg with peel and dirt on, clothes that are in fashion not from the back of a stepford wifes wardrobe, CURRY (ok not british but essential to life), mates who know what spuds are, jokes that are funny, People who 'get' me, Argos, Newspapers that are totally crap, TV that is good, A car that doesn't kill three polar bears everytime i go out in it, people who care that the icecaps are melting, the truly mental royal family and the fact that the papers tell us their every move, a mobile phone that i can afford to use, anyway thats what i came back for sorry canada for me you just dont got what it takes!!!!!! LONG LIVE BRITAIN
#384
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Nope dont regret a thing the UK is FAB! Eat my shorts! to the folk on here who dis the UK! The cultural diversity, the NHS, the council (even though they only empty my bin once a fortnight), the freedom, the mad (hysterical) political correctness, my dog and his freedom to go anywhere he likes (seriously infringed in canada)and sniff whatever he wants (he is well trained though) my back garden with no scary what the hell is that (racoons, was white - not obviously a raccoon), the nearness of every thing if i want to bowl its there ditto swimming, the grass, the trees, the hp sauce!, the jones's, the maddness, the sheer Britishness, Jeremy Kyle, attitude, Government, politics, PUBS!, roast beef and yorkshire puds, earning decent money, spending said money and getting quality stuff, Qualificatons that mean something, choice in supermarkets, veg with peel and dirt on, clothes that are in fashion not from the back of a stepford wifes wardrobe, CURRY (ok not british but essential to life), mates who know what spuds are, jokes that are funny, People who 'get' me, Argos, Newspapers that are totally crap, TV that is good, A car that doesn't kill three polar bears everytime i go out in it, people who care that the icecaps are melting, the truly mental royal family and the fact that the papers tell us their every move, a mobile phone that i can afford to use, anyway thats what i came back for sorry canada for me you just dont got what it takes!!!!!! LONG LIVE BRITAIN
So let me just get this straight, you're glad to be home and you don't miss Canada?
#385
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: doncaster, south yorkshire
Posts: 69
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
RULE BRITAINIA, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, and all that!
And no i don't work in some gvmt office promoting the UK - I just realised what i had walked away from
#386
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: doncaster, south yorkshire
Posts: 69
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Hey dont give in that easily Sas, i know thats easy for me to say,but for christs sake you went through so much to get here.. Now slog it out girl,prove to every one you can hack it alone here,, get a job even 2 if it means it, take every cent ex must pay and make it work
But essentially life is for living you only get one go you know!
Be happy
#387
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Hey dont give in that easily Sas, i know thats easy for me to say,but for christs sake you went through so much to get here.. Now slog it out girl,prove to every one you can hack it alone here,, get a job even 2 if it means it, take every cent ex must pay and make it work
As for proving anything, just as easy to say "prove you can admit a mistake and reverse it before life's a slog."
I can't remember the name of it, but there's a psychological quirk most of us have which says that the more we pay to do something, in money, giving things up, hardship etc, the more we cling to it and refuse to change. If we pay more, we cling to it even more.
It's what hooks people to these internet scams where they ask for a bit of money to release some inheritance. Then a bit more for some paperworks. And it keeps growing until it's thousands, tens of thousands, but by then the person can't admit it's a scam because then they've lost all that money, so they keep on going.
That isn't directed at you, Gremmie. Just that this attachment to things that we've suffered for is well known and can land people in a lot of trouble. "Cut your losses" is sometimes exactly the right thing to do.
Bev
#388
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
What part of that wasn't clear? I love grass coated in a slowly melting frost, i love crispy (yet oddly sunny- not dissimilar to NS)days, I love trees and lushness and rolling green hills, heather, lavender growing in my garden (still smells lush not sure its supposed to in jan), i love the 1 inch of snow that bring us to a standstill,i love rain and the fact i can smell lightening storms (couldnt even smell a hurricane in canada- had to watch the weather like everyone else), i love bin lorries hogging the road (they make me late but hey thats time to think i didn't plan for), i love radio and singing like a mad woman, i love to laugh at myself (and others) and don't mind being ribbed back, i love yorkshire and the lovely warm accent with the absent constenants and low round vowels, i love the pretension and all the 'Hyacinths' out there, I love the potential that embodies the UK, the subtleties of the british way lurking beneath the surface of every exchange and meeting, ok so we can be rash, but we are also forgiving welcoming understanding and compassionate, we are strong, special and unique no nation in the world is quite like the UK, Ok so we have naff bits but blow me we are a Great Nation we are GREAT Britain!!!!!!
RULE BRITAINIA, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, and all that!
And no i don't work in some gvmt office promoting the UK - I just realised what i had walked away from
RULE BRITAINIA, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, and all that!
And no i don't work in some gvmt office promoting the UK - I just realised what i had walked away from
#389
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
What part of that wasn't clear? I love grass coated in a slowly melting frost, i love crispy (yet oddly sunny- not dissimilar to NS)days, I love trees and lushness and rolling green hills, heather, lavender growing in my garden (still smells lush not sure its supposed to in jan), i love the 1 inch of snow that bring us to a standstill,i love rain and the fact i can smell lightening storms (couldnt even smell a hurricane in canada- had to watch the weather like everyone else), i love bin lorries hogging the road (they make me late but hey thats time to think i didn't plan for), i love radio and singing like a mad woman, i love to laugh at myself (and others) and don't mind being ribbed back, i love yorkshire and the lovely warm accent with the absent constenants and low round vowels, i love the pretension and all the 'Hyacinths' out there, I love the potential that embodies the UK, the subtleties of the british way lurking beneath the surface of every exchange and meeting, ok so we can be rash, but we are also forgiving welcoming understanding and compassionate, we are strong, special and unique no nation in the world is quite like the UK, Ok so we have naff bits but blow me we are a Great Nation we are GREAT Britain!!!!!!
RULE BRITAINIA, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, and all that!
And no i don't work in some gvmt office promoting the UK - I just realised what i had walked away from
RULE BRITAINIA, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, and all that!
And no i don't work in some gvmt office promoting the UK - I just realised what i had walked away from
#390
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,872
Re: Has Anyone Moved Back To The UK & Regretted It?
Changing one's job, especially for the better, is not something that can be done just like that.
I didn't leave to get away from the UK, I just met a Canadian woman with 2 kids who became my wife and family.
In the UK: undervalued civil servant treated like something on the sole of your shoe by public, management and government. Living alone in a 100 year old 2 bed terraced house. £400 a month mortgage payments. Salary allowed for two cheap last minute hols a year, low season, about £350 total each time. No spare cash, no savings.
In Canada: £123k equity from UK home enabled purchase of 4 bed detached home and a duplex to rent out providing an income to supplement small pension. Our total income (mortgage free) is barely more than my UK net income after the mortgage (in other words like for like) yet here it goes for four and not one. And I'm not even having to work for it.
In the UK, the house wouldn't have been big enough and the income wouldn't have been enough for two, let alone four.
And all this as a low paid civil servant with a small pension, what with it being based on poor wages and then being reduced further from being taken ten years early.
Most Brits in Canada are probably more highly skilled, highly qualified people, many of whom will have far greater equity in their home than I had and far higher pensions to look forward to than I had and will have greater incomes. I was 3 years away from my pension when I moved over, but my equity still covered the two properties as well as funding that three years.
It may not be impossible to change your life for the better within the UK but it can be a damned sight easier to do that in Canada - if you're prepared to look outside the obvious places.
UK income/capital/housing just about covering the needs for one while employed = income/capital/housing for four in Canada without the need for employment.
I didn't leave to get away from the UK, I just met a Canadian woman with 2 kids who became my wife and family.
In the UK: undervalued civil servant treated like something on the sole of your shoe by public, management and government. Living alone in a 100 year old 2 bed terraced house. £400 a month mortgage payments. Salary allowed for two cheap last minute hols a year, low season, about £350 total each time. No spare cash, no savings.
In Canada: £123k equity from UK home enabled purchase of 4 bed detached home and a duplex to rent out providing an income to supplement small pension. Our total income (mortgage free) is barely more than my UK net income after the mortgage (in other words like for like) yet here it goes for four and not one. And I'm not even having to work for it.
In the UK, the house wouldn't have been big enough and the income wouldn't have been enough for two, let alone four.
And all this as a low paid civil servant with a small pension, what with it being based on poor wages and then being reduced further from being taken ten years early.
Most Brits in Canada are probably more highly skilled, highly qualified people, many of whom will have far greater equity in their home than I had and far higher pensions to look forward to than I had and will have greater incomes. I was 3 years away from my pension when I moved over, but my equity still covered the two properties as well as funding that three years.
It may not be impossible to change your life for the better within the UK but it can be a damned sight easier to do that in Canada - if you're prepared to look outside the obvious places.
UK income/capital/housing just about covering the needs for one while employed = income/capital/housing for four in Canada without the need for employment.