Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
#61
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
What strikes me about your post is that all of those reasons except #2 are about running away from something rather than running towards something. You didn't go back to England because there were things you missed terribly - you went back because you wanted to get away from things you didn't like.
And the problem is - most of your posts about moving back have been the same. You talk about all the things that bother you about England, rather than talking about the things you miss in Australia.
In life, no matter what the subject, you always have to make sure you're running TO something, not running AWAY from something. Do that and you'll be happy. Do what you've been doing and you'll always be unhappy - because running away from one set of problems just presents a fresh new set of issues.
So the question is: Do you have a long list of positive reasons for going back. Do you have good friends and a good community to return to? Do you have hobbies and interests you're missing? Do you have family there? Is there anything about Australia that is pulling you back there other than a desire to escape from the unpleasant parts of your new life?
And the problem is - most of your posts about moving back have been the same. You talk about all the things that bother you about England, rather than talking about the things you miss in Australia.
In life, no matter what the subject, you always have to make sure you're running TO something, not running AWAY from something. Do that and you'll be happy. Do what you've been doing and you'll always be unhappy - because running away from one set of problems just presents a fresh new set of issues.
So the question is: Do you have a long list of positive reasons for going back. Do you have good friends and a good community to return to? Do you have hobbies and interests you're missing? Do you have family there? Is there anything about Australia that is pulling you back there other than a desire to escape from the unpleasant parts of your new life?
Last edited by sallysimmons; Mar 28th 2012 at 11:58 am.
#62
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
After a lot of thought there are quiet a few reasons I decided to move back to the uk and some are still there, they might sound a bit silly but :
1. I felt like I was cut off from the rest of the world, I would hear news from family back in the uk or read websites and compare to perth where not much ever seemed to happen and I felt like I was not a part of the world anymore.
2. I missed family, as most of us do
3. I didnt like the lazy slack working attitude there, even turning up for work seemed to be a chore for people and I would go in everyday and wonder how many havent actually bothered coming in today. I got frustrated with the slackness. Coming back to the uk I found the exact opposite, loads of rules and regulations for everything, to a ridiculous degree, a strict monitoring of stats and performance down to the minute by minute level. After seeing the two extremes I think the aussie way might have the best after all. Certainly less stressful.
4. I always felt like an outsider, people would constantly ask me where I am from, call me a pom, act suprised to learn I was a citizen. After 6 years I got fed up with people acting like I had just landed yesterday.
5. I was in an unhealthy relationship and was separating from my partner of 15 years, she stayed in perth. I guess I am wondering if I mixed up my feelings of wanting to get away from that situation with my feelings about australia, I guess part of me wanted to get as far away as possible and I might have let that cloud my feelings.
So some of these things will still be present if I did go back to aus, but might have just been in my head, maybe I can get past them.
I dont know.
Moving is a big expensive decision, I am confused, I dont know what to do, stay or go back to aus...
Any advice/opinions are much appreciated
1. I felt like I was cut off from the rest of the world, I would hear news from family back in the uk or read websites and compare to perth where not much ever seemed to happen and I felt like I was not a part of the world anymore.
2. I missed family, as most of us do
3. I didnt like the lazy slack working attitude there, even turning up for work seemed to be a chore for people and I would go in everyday and wonder how many havent actually bothered coming in today. I got frustrated with the slackness. Coming back to the uk I found the exact opposite, loads of rules and regulations for everything, to a ridiculous degree, a strict monitoring of stats and performance down to the minute by minute level. After seeing the two extremes I think the aussie way might have the best after all. Certainly less stressful.
4. I always felt like an outsider, people would constantly ask me where I am from, call me a pom, act suprised to learn I was a citizen. After 6 years I got fed up with people acting like I had just landed yesterday.
5. I was in an unhealthy relationship and was separating from my partner of 15 years, she stayed in perth. I guess I am wondering if I mixed up my feelings of wanting to get away from that situation with my feelings about australia, I guess part of me wanted to get as far away as possible and I might have let that cloud my feelings.
So some of these things will still be present if I did go back to aus, but might have just been in my head, maybe I can get past them.
I dont know.
Moving is a big expensive decision, I am confused, I dont know what to do, stay or go back to aus...
Any advice/opinions are much appreciated
#64
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
What strikes me about your post is that all of those reasons except #2 are about running away from something rather than running towards something. You didn't go back to England because there were things you missed terribly - you went back because you wanted to get away from things you didn't like.
So the question is: Do you have a long list of positive reasons for going back. Do you have good friends and a good community to return to? Do you have hobbies and interests you're missing? Do you have family there? Is there anything about Australia that is pulling you back there other than a desire to escape from the unpleasant parts of your new life?
So the question is: Do you have a long list of positive reasons for going back. Do you have good friends and a good community to return to? Do you have hobbies and interests you're missing? Do you have family there? Is there anything about Australia that is pulling you back there other than a desire to escape from the unpleasant parts of your new life?
I think I am a bit clearer now, having had 7 months or so back in the uk, I am seeing that there are a lot of positives I miss from aus. But to answer your question, I wouldnt have any family or comunity to go back to. I could earn more money there, with a slightly easyer going working life and have a bigger houses, more space, big roads, ocean access etc.
After giving this a lot of thought one thing that is making me sway towards going back to aus is that the UK seems to just have way to many people in it. Everywhere I go it seems swarmed by people, although there is more to do here when I go to do it I get stuck in big queues with all the others trying to do it as well!.
I think I have almost made my mind up now, I should go back, it would proberbly be more sensible to stay in the uk, work on my career and give myself more time to settle like people have suggested, but I think my gut feeling is that I could have a better future in australia. Maybe returning to perth at first for a few years to make the transition easyer and then moving to melbourne at a later date perhaps.
I might have that feeling of not fitting in again but maybe I could make an effort to meet some other expats, which I should have done the first time round!
#65
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
After giving this a lot of thought one thing that is making me sway towards going back to aus is that the UK seems to just have way to many people in it. Everywhere I go it seems swarmed by people, although there is more to do here when I go to do it I get stuck in big queues with all the others trying to do it as well!.
#66
Banned
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: The REAL Utopia.
Posts: 9,910
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
Its a bit like living on the beach and complaining about the sand
#67
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
I do feel for you, its a difficult decision to make but you know with your references to the work situation there really are nasty people everywhere, let me share my week with you lol! I'm a paramedic and this week I went to a collapsed lady in the main street here, I couldn't get into the emergency vehicle bay cos there was a lorry parked (illegally) there so had to block him in. He came running out, did he apologise? Did he offer to move? NO! He yelled at me "move your f***ing ambulance I've got deliveries to make!" I shook my head, told he him would have to wait, when I returned to my vehicle to get the stretcher he called me a b***h. I reported it to the police but as I had no witnesses they can't do anything about it. Since then I have had 2 jobs with patients who have called for my assistance and they have both verbally abused me. I am female, I am small and I work alone so guess I'm an easy target eh? All 3 patients were Australian. I did get abused in the UK, nature of the job, but the point I am trying to make is that there are awful people everywhere. Right now I am sitting here after the latest episode looking out on palm trees and sunshine and I feel UTTERLY miserable. I am still struggling with the "should I leave/stay" question, these things would still happen in the UK I know but after work there I could go round my Mum's for a bit of tea, sympathy and a hug or go see my sister/best friend. Here I have no one, I don't fit in and have few friends, I just don't belong and I feel if I ring someone for a chat I'll be dismissed as a whinging Pom. anyway that's my five pennethworth for today, now I'm going to have a cup of tea as that will make things better lol!
#68
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 82
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
I always felt like an outsider in Australia (29 years) and never fully fit, I felt like I was on the outside looking in for the most part and God knows I tried!! But as much as I can see what's wrong in the UK, I fit in here, I am HOME.
Shocked to know that you felt like outsider in Australia even after staying three for three decades, despite so much of similarity between England and Australia!!!! What migrants from other parts of the world would feel!!!!?????
Shocked to know that you felt like outsider in Australia even after staying three for three decades, despite so much of similarity between England and Australia!!!! What migrants from other parts of the world would feel!!!!?????
#69
Banned
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: The REAL Utopia.
Posts: 9,910
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
I grew up in Australia but i still feel more at home in England for whatever reason. I always think of everything here being temporary and that even seems to apply to the friends we have made, they just arent as close as our UK friends. I have lived here for over 30 years.
#70
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
Same same! I grew up in Australia, moved there when I was a toddler but I don't belong here! Miss my nights out in the UK - so much more fun :0)
#71
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
I always felt like an outsider in Australia (29 years) and never fully fit, I felt like I was on the outside looking in for the most part and God knows I tried!! But as much as I can see what's wrong in the UK, I fit in here, I am HOME.
Shocked to know that you felt like outsider in Australia even after staying three for three decades, despite so much of similarity between England and Australia!!!! What migrants from other parts of the world would feel!!!!?????
Shocked to know that you felt like outsider in Australia even after staying three for three decades, despite so much of similarity between England and Australia!!!! What migrants from other parts of the world would feel!!!!?????
Migrants from other parts of the world? Some are happy and thank the Lord every day for Australia, some are miserable as sin and can't wait to get home back to where they belong.........HOME!!!
#73
Re: Back in uk 6months after 6 years in Aus perth/adelaide now confused
I do feel for you, its a difficult decision to make but you know with your references to the work situation there really are nasty people everywhere, let me share my week with you lol! I'm a paramedic and this week I went to a collapsed lady in the main street here, I couldn't get into the emergency vehicle bay cos there was a lorry parked (illegally) there so had to block him in. He came running out, did he apologise? Did he offer to move? NO! He yelled at me "move your f***ing ambulance I've got deliveries to make!" I shook my head, told he him would have to wait, when I returned to my vehicle to get the stretcher he called me a b***h. I reported it to the police but as I had no witnesses they can't do anything about it. Since then I have had 2 jobs with patients who have called for my assistance and they have both verbally abused me. I am female, I am small and I work alone so guess I'm an easy target eh? All 3 patients were Australian. I did get abused in the UK, nature of the job, but the point I am trying to make is that there are awful people everywhere. Right now I am sitting here after the latest episode looking out on palm trees and sunshine and I feel UTTERLY miserable. I am still struggling with the "should I leave/stay" question, these things would still happen in the UK I know but after work there I could go round my Mum's for a bit of tea, sympathy and a hug or go see my sister/best friend. Here I have no one, I don't fit in and have few friends, I just don't belong and I feel if I ring someone for a chat I'll be dismissed as a whinging Pom. anyway that's my five pennethworth for today, now I'm going to have a cup of tea as that will make things better lol!
They have palm trees in Torquay you know if you need a fix!!