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Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Old Jul 31st 2014, 1:41 am
  #91  
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

We too are looking at going back after ten years here in Canada, will be giving up a large house, huge back yard invariably for something a lot smaller.

After a recent visit back home too, I realised that the UK is definitely not a bed of roses, there are definitely things that aren't as good as I would like them to be, but the one thing it will always have for me is a "sense of belonging". Although happy here overall, I have never felt 100% like I belong here, I never feel the same as those who grew up here.

I can also never get the one thing that eludes me here which is family and after all my kids are grown, this is not the place I want to end up with hubby and that is ultimately what is driving our move. Sure its great for kids here, but at the end of the day what we have with them is borrowed time.....and activities are hugely expensive here.

Definitely wont be looking forward to negativity in the UK, even on our recent trip back so many people moaned about it, some people think we are crazy to contemplate returning. But I often wonder what exactly are they comparing it to???? Brits really don't seem to appreciate all the wonderful things that they have and the Daily Mail really does not help with this at all....One relative even said "what do they want to move back here for", despite never having lived anywhere else? So that will definitely be something to get over...

Definitely going to go back with an open mind and try and appreciate the things we are going back for, sense of belonging, family, beautiful history and countryside, proximity to Europe etc etc

HTH

Daisymoll
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Old Jul 31st 2014, 11:34 am
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by dunroving
Why do threads that are just asking for people's personal experiences have to turn into snidey bunfights?

("He/she started it" is a pathetic excuse, BTW).

In response to the OP, I think regrets are unavoidable for a lot of people, even if overall moving back to the UK works out. Whether or not the regrets are problematic depends a lot on your mindset and how you respond.

For me, it was difficult to ignore the considerable financial implications of moving back. UK house prices almost tripled in the time I'd been away while US house prices hardly moved (where I was, the Southeast). Taking on a large mortgage in middle age was a consequence of moving back.

Professionally, the difference between the US and UK is night and day. Regular trips back remind me of this.

For others, the move back coincides with the opposite - cashing in on favorable exchange rates or soaring house prices wherever they were, coming back to a better professional situation. Being closer to family, happier kids.

The facts of the situation are often disconnected to anything to do with the UK per se, or to wherever you moved back from per se. People who are wonderfully happy back in the UK or who have been pretty miserable since moving back home don't need to get into silly arguments about who is right - they both are "right".

Personally I have many regrets about moving back but have worked very hard at overcoming the practicalities of the situation in the UK. I am pretty content as a result of focussing on the positives and not letting the negatives get me down.
What a great post, dunrovin.
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Old Jul 31st 2014, 11:37 am
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by daisymoll
We too are looking at going back after ten years here in Canada, will be giving up a large house, huge back yard invariably for something a lot smaller.

After a recent visit back home too, I realised that the UK is definitely not a bed of roses, there are definitely things that aren't as good as I would like them to be, but the one thing it will always have for me is a "sense of belonging". Although happy here overall, I have never felt 100% like I belong here, I never feel the same as those who grew up here.

I can also never get the one thing that eludes me here which is family and after all my kids are grown, this is not the place I want to end up with hubby and that is ultimately what is driving our move. Sure its great for kids here, but at the end of the day what we have with them is borrowed time.....and activities are hugely expensive here.

Definitely wont be looking forward to negativity in the UK, even on our recent trip back so many people moaned about it, some people think we are crazy to contemplate returning. But I often wonder what exactly are they comparing it to???? Brits really don't seem to appreciate all the wonderful things that they have and the Daily Mail really does not help with this at all....One relative even said "what do they want to move back here for", despite never having lived anywhere else? So that will definitely be something to get over...

Definitely going to go back with an open mind and try and appreciate the things we are going back for, sense of belonging, family, beautiful history and countryside, proximity to Europe etc etc

HTH

Daisymoll
The bits I've bolded here really say what I have felt and feel, daisymoll.

Well put.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 2:25 am
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by dunroving
I am pretty content as a result of focussing on the positives and not letting the negatives get me down.

To be happy in this life, we need to accept our circumstances, and make a conscious effort to direct our focus on those things which bring us joy, not wallow in the bad bits.

I am not even over the pond yet and I can tell you there are quite a few things I will miss about Canada. But I'm doing this to bring happiness to my Hunny and for the adventure of it all. I love British culture, I love British foods (mostly), I could listen to British accents (all of them!) all day long and never get tired...

Will there be bumps and buises? Of course! But when you weigh the good against the bad, and put your mind on accentuating the positives and eliminating the negatives, I think most people would have a lot let self-imposed stress (and all the health concerns that go with it, btw)!

I have really enjoyed reading this thread... if for no other reason than to see how personality affects outlook. We are facing a LOT of opposition from family here towards our move away, right to the point of hearing, "don't bother asking any family over there to help you!" which I think is a tad disparaging of the charity of those living back "home" ... but I can see that with perseverance and the right attitude, this will be a brilliant success!

Thank you!
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 8:01 am
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

I think it's reasonable to say that, generally speaking we, the British, would find something to whinge and whine about, and form negative opinions about - in a Heavenly Paradise should we be lucky enough, or unlucky enough, to find ourselves landing there in the first place.

I once heard an American ask a British person why so many British people appear to be so miserable and negative in outlook, and the reply he received was something on the lines of "well, it's the only way we can feel good about ourselves".

The American said he didn't understand that comment.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 9:15 am
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

I must be in the minority but I dont find the English to be miserable. Sure they like a good moan at times but then tell me a nationality that doesn't. If everyone was so miserable in the UK then why are they so much more friendly than I have experienced in other countries? Having a moan doesn't mean they are miserable.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 10:40 am
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

When people have commented on us Brits, I have always said that we are realists and we talk openly about our crap.
Almost everywhere I have travelled to, in general, people dont talk the way we do, they hide alot behind closed doors and make it all look rosy.
Thats what I miss about the Uk, the way we sit down at the pub or with the girls and we talk about the way it is.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 10:55 am
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by LostBrit99
When people have commented on us Brits, I have always said that we are realists and we talk openly about our crap.
Almost everywhere I have travelled to, in general, people dont talk the way we do, they hide alot behind closed doors and make it all look rosy.
Thats what I miss about the Uk, the way we sit down at the pub or with the girls and we talk about the way it is.
Yes that's true and I like that.

What I don't like is the "We're the worst country in the world"-type thing that seems to have crept in.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 2:07 pm
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Venturing opinions on your country is a bit fraught - you're always going to upset someone If you say something negative about your country, you're a whinger and a traitor. If you say something positive, you have rose-coloured glasses on and are a nationalist twit.

Which I think is a very good reason for just saying exactly what you feel, and if anyone doesn't like it they can do the other thing.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 2:16 pm
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
Venturing opinions on your country is a bit fraught - you're always going to upset someone If you say something negative about your country, you're a whinger and a traitor. If you say something positive, you have rose-coloured glasses on and are a nationalist twit.

Which I think is a very good reason for just saying exactly what you feel, and if anyone doesn't like it they can do the other thing.
Here here, totally agree
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 2:49 pm
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
Venturing opinions on your country is a bit fraught - you're always going to upset someone If you say something negative about your country, you're a whinger and a traitor. If you say something positive, you have rose-coloured glasses on and are a nationalist twit.

Which I think is a very good reason for just saying exactly what you feel, and if anyone doesn't like it they can do the other thing.
Which is fine except where it's channelling Daily Mail outrage without even examining the facts.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 5:31 pm
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by Sally Redux
Which is fine except where it's channelling Daily Mail outrage without even examining the facts.
Agree - anyone who takes their perception of a place from tabloids needs their head read. I don't know many people like that, and if I do know them, I don't know them for long :lol

I'm quite confident in voicing my opinion of Australia's negatives, as well as its positives. But I'll probably be a bit more careful when I live in the UK, otherwise I'm bound to upset a few people! I wonder if that's because people think you're more 'entitled' to have an opinion about your birth country, rather than about your adopted one?

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Old Aug 1st 2014, 5:44 pm
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse
Agree - anyone who takes their perception of a place from tabloids needs their head read. I don't know many people like that, and if I do know them, I don't know them for long :lol

I'm quite confident in voicing my opinion of Australia's negatives, as well as its positives. But I'll probably be a bit more careful when I live in the UK, otherwise I'm bound to upset a few people! I wonder if that's because people think you're more 'entitled' to have an opinion about your birth country, rather than about your adopted one?
I could fill a whole page with examples by my mum

I think that's true; I don't criticise the US to Americans unless they start it.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 8:32 pm
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

Originally Posted by LostBrit99
When people have commented on us Brits, I have always said that we are realists and we talk openly about our crap.
Almost everywhere I have travelled to, in general, people dont talk the way we do, they hide alot behind closed doors and make it all look rosy.
Thats what I miss about the Uk, the way we sit down at the pub or with the girls and we talk about the way it is.
You hit the nail on the head! Its so true! This was definitely my experience when I lived in the US, no one talks feely about the crap its all glossed over and made to seem better than it is. Its almost like americans are trained for the most part not to dis their country, whereas in the Uk we will dis our country but no one else is allowed to LOL.
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Old Aug 1st 2014, 9:51 pm
  #105  
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Default re: Any regrets about moving back to the UK?

I agree with all that is said here. I like the fact in the Uk we are realists and can accept all the bad crap that happens in the world.

In canada, you would read though a paper which was totally filled with good news. You would have to search hard to find the bad stuff which was in tiny print, 5 lines long at the back They just don't like to hear it or talk about it.

I feel much more positive in my outlook since returning, but still like a good moan every now and again
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