Re: An American view.
 

Thank You NiHao,

Your post is well balanced and pretty much hit's the nail on the head and it's appreciated. To fully fill you on my circumstances would take many, many pages, but here is a little information. My sign in name will give you my age. Anyway when I was 23 my first daughter passed away at the sweet age of 5 years old due to some minor surgery that went wrong here in the UK. It was a time when my life was in a black hole, a hole that took years to drag myself out of. My then first wife we had another daughter and when my second daughter was 6 years old her Mother my Wife died of cancer at the age of 31. Leaving me with my young daughter. The black hole became much larger and went through a terrible time.
I met my second wife here in the UK about a year later, she is English but went through a divorce with her American husband and decided to come back to the UK. So long story short we married and as she was at that time a (green card holder) she sponsored my daughter and I so to the US we went. Green card holders at that time could sponsor but not anymore.

Fast forward now. In the US we worked hard and watched my daughter grow up into a fine woman that she is now. We had what could be called
( The American Dream) that dream became a nightmare after being married for 30 years she just got up and left and she returned to the UK to be with some guy she met on the internet and now lives in a caravan, just cohabiting. I'm finding this difficult to carry on, so I will leave it at that for now.

Thanks
John

Next chapter will be meeting my now American wife. I might send it to you in a PM as I don't think the general poster's would be interested.

Ps On reflection I should have replied to you in a private message.

Re: An American view.
 

Well it's an odd comment given that the birth rate is pretty much identical in the UK and US and that birth control is readily available from the NHS.

Re: An American view.
 

I dont mind anyone , from around the world having a dig, at our green and pleasant land.
We can learn from other countries......but I expect that anyone to do his/her homework on
and within the states ( counties) of their chosen land of high pedastal before they start out with
unbalanced, incompetent facts as tools for comparison.
Furnished, unfurnished property are to be found all over the States.Same as utility meters, in USA like UK not all upto modern day expectations.The rest of the infrastructure in USA, like Buses, trains, ferries, in-flights, can be a godsend or nightmare.

Customer service, I must say prefer USA, but the Brit in me dislikes the tipping mentality.
Dont like being made to feel guilty, if tip, doesnt come up to expectations, not the customers fault
if Employer doesnt find it necessary to pay a decent wage.That said service wins hands down, in USA in all trades.
Education: mmmm I am a typical grumpy old man, so UK youth is being let down, but USA has its fill of blackholes that swallow up all types of youths chances of decent education.
Not only in ethnic, black, hispanic areas also in major white rural/city areas.
Denying it is a bigger crime.

300+ mill compared to 65+ mil. WITH an economy clout 2nd to none, USA is letting the masses
down far more than, whatever developed country you want to compare with.
That said, I havent or wouldnt put my land of origin, or the one where I am host, up for ridicule with poor comparisons.
USA loves comparing its richest and successfull side, forgets the other 80%.which includes also middle-class strugglers, as well as satisfied citizens.

Re: An American view.
 

For free. Even for visitors.

Re: An American view.
 

Depends on local market. Where I am, places include a crappy cooker and fridge. Some places include a crappy washer/dryer or at least hook ups, some have PAYG machines.

Most don't include toaster/microwave/kettle.

Some other areas, they might.

Then again, rent is massively variable too, down my way, $1500 a month gets you a pokey, shit little apartment, but $900 can get you a decent sized house up in Maine.

So you really can't have a one size fits all answer to this.

Or for most of the points the OP brings up, because they're all pretty local, except the taxes. Then again, I think you get far more for your money in the UK, or at least it's more transparent, as where I am at least, there's far more stealth taxes hidden away, in everything and you get nothing in return for it.

Re: An American view.
 

Oh I agree, it is incorrect for the teenage rates and utterly bizarre as a comment.

It seems this is more to do with personal pain, for which Britain is being blamed as a whole. Probably best to leave it.

Re: An American view.
 

Is your daughter still in the US or the UK?

It seems from you new wife's renting comments and from her comments on taxes and utility prices, that money is tight for you both? Is this making things worse do you think? If she got a job, that would help her settle and would give you more income and she might make some friends.


Has your new American wife got family in the UK? Or has she left them (children and grandchildren?) all in the US?

I would hate to move away to another country, away from my family. I would miss them too much.

It might just be that you need to bite the bullet and return home to the US where your wife is happy. Life is too short. I thought Obama was doing something about healthcare???

Re: An American view.
 

I was one of the people that encouraged the OP to post his (and wife's I guess) negative experiences so that those of us who are not in the UK can get a balanced view because you can't base it all memories or the media. I have to say I wasn't expecting that. With the background information detailing the Op's journey I see how he may feel the way he does.

I have to say it made me take a second look at my views on the US which are mostly negative and see how I may come across to an American (aside from my hubby - he might as well be a Brit). I have not had any qualifying event that I can pin point to make me feel this way. Everything in our lives in the US is in place - job, house etc, but there is that 'pang' called belonging that pokes at you and you cannot ignore it.

I truly believe there is no utopia so we all have to gauge what is most important to us and live out our limited years on earth as happily as we can.

Re: An American view.
 

Stop allowing facts to get in the way of a good moan.

Re: An American view.
 

London1947,

I'm so sorry for the loss of loved ones that you have suffered. I am interested to hear the next part of your story but by all means send a PM if you do not feel comfortable posting, although I suspect quite a few people here would also be interested to hear it.

I'm sorry its been difficult for you and your wife since you moved to the UK and I know how easy it is to spiral into depression when stressed for a long time. I read that you are going to visit the US for a few weeks perhaps you could talk the situation over with your daughter and see what her thoughts are on what your options are.

As others have said it does seem that you have landed in a particularly hard up part of the UK, do you have any chance of making a move to a different part of the UK?

Chip up, sometimes things are darkest just before the sun comes out.

Re: An American view.
 

The vast majority would come with a fridge and stove/oven. Some come with a washer and dryer as well.

When we got to Australia we were shocked that we had to buy our own fridge, washer/dryer, etc.

Re: An American view.
 

Wow! Five pages of replies in less than 24 hours! Let me have a go!

Government
*The benefit system has enabled people to abuse it. Why are benefits unending?

Possibly because we don't like to see people starving on the streets? The USA and the UK do have a very different philosophy about welfare even today. The statistics actually suggest that very few people abuse the system. Personally, I prefer a society with a safety net for all and I am appalled by the recent welfare cuts. One of the things that horrified me about Canada, when I lived there, was the large number of homeless and destitute people in a booming economy. To me both Canada and the USA are countries that fail to look after their own, like a rich but uncaring family.

*Education is inadequate for today's society. No child should be out on the street at age 15 or even 16.

As other people have pointed out, education is actually compulsory to 18 (but not necessarily in school). 40% go on to higher education.


*20% VAT is absurdly high. There should be more of a sliding scale for different goods and services as well as geographic location. Obviously, people in the South West do not earn what those in London earn.

VAT is a complicated issue. It was raised as part of austerity measures. The objection to it is that it is not 'progressive' i.e the poor pay the same rate as the rich, but this isn't completely true since the things that carry VAT are bought more by the rich. Nor is it unusually high for Europe: most EU countries have a VAT rate of 20% or higher.

*Too lenient punishment for crime. Everyone seems to get suspended sentences or insufficient prison terms, even for murder.


That is nonsense. Anyone convicted of murder gets a life sentence.


*It seems to take forever for the police to respond to calls, especially to non-999 calls. And why do we, the public, have to pay to call the police for disturbance of the peace or ASBO situations?


I find this point quite confusing. If it isn't a 999 call, why is it important how long it takes the police to answer? Was this based on actual experience? The average time for police to respond to a 999 call in Devon is 11 minutes. When I rang my community police officer for advice about a parking matter it took him nearly a week to get back to me. It really didn't matter.

If it is a disturbance of the peace, then a 999 call would be justified. I simply don't know what you mean by an ASBO situation. It could cover a wide variety of scenarios.

*The infrastructure is antiquated. Examples: pay as you go electric meters, not all properties have water meters.

Frankly, the infrastructure of most North American cities looks antiquated to a Western European. It's the services running overground on poles when almost all European cities have buried them a long time ago. In addition, in Edmonton Alberta, we had poor domestic gas and water pressure and an antiquated sewerage system that could not cope with dental floss. One of the delights for me in being back in the UK is not having to wait until mid-morning until the water pressure becomes strong enough to have a shower.

Pay as you go electricity meters serve a purpose for people on low incomes, but I agree that they are annoying if you are renting a house with one.

Actually, I think most properties don't have water meters. I've just had my house surveyed for one and it proved to be impossible because there is only one main water supply to the whole terrace. It is worth asking your local water company for a survey because if they can't fit a meter they will usually drop your water charges anyway, in compensation (not many people know that).

*Why do we have to pay for a license to watch TV?
So that we can have Dr Who, and Sherlock and anything else Stephen Moffat gets round to writing. Is the flippant response. Actually the licence system of financing the BBC is beginning to look unfit for purpose in the age of the internet, but we do like our BBC and most people still don't begrudge paying for it.


Society
*Everything is so expensive, from energy/utilities and petrol to necessary commodities of groceries and clothing.


I paid more for clothing and food in Canada. We've always paid more for energy in the UK than in N.Am because we have less.

*Morality seems to have gone to hell in a hand basket. People have children to be able to collect benefits (see above); no one seems to be aware of birth control; parental oversight is lacking. Where are all the fathers of the children of single mothers?


Since the UK is an ageing society with a birth rate insufficient to replace the population, if we don't know about birth control, we must just not be getting enough sex.

*Alcohol consumption is out of control. The drinking age is too young and and they seem to apply no limits.

I agree there is a drinking problem.

*Why do renters have to buy their own appliances? They should be furnished by the landlord.

And you'd legislate for that would you? Some landlords do provide white goods. When I rented out my place it had a cooker, washing machine, fridge and drier.

*Everything takes longer than necessary. In the South West, there seems to be a 6 - 8 week wait for everything.

Huh? I don't know what exactly you are referring to, but since moving to Devon in July, I've been amazed by how quickly I can get everything done. In two months I've had the house rewired, a carpenter has adjusted all our doors, the phone outlets have been relocated, the roof has been fixed and a plumber has serviced our boiler and made some alterations to our central heating system. I was delighted that when I ordered a fridge and a freezer I was able to get them delivered within a few days. There are a few things I've had to wait longer for, but generally the waiting times have been much better than I remember from before I went to Canada.

*There is very little customer service in the country as a whole. Why do I have to pay to call a company whose services I have paid for and am unhappy with? Where are the toll-free numbers? And when you do actually call with a problem, they always talk over you to make you feel as though you are totally insignificant.


I've groused about customer service call centres on this forum myself, but I've generally found a toll free number for them. Frankly, if a call centre operative is capable of making you feel insignificant, then that is your psychological problem. It is not the role of call centre operatives to make you feel important, and since they themselves are doing a low paid, unfulfilling and often stressful job, expecting them to boost your self esteem shows a remarkable level of self absorption on your part.

*People are basically pigs here. They always seem to expect others to clean up their mess, whether it's at McDonald's or on the village green.


I do not disagree on UK habits of cleanliness. I would not call my fellow citizens pigs, but I cannot think of any European country that I've visited that has dirtier cafes or as much litter on the streets. But, in Canada young men used to spit on the pavement and that really is disgusting.

*Anti-social behavior is rampant, whether it's spitting on the street, public urinating, or disturbing the peace.

A gross exaggeration. Personally, I haven't seen anyone spit or urinate on the streets in Devon. You must live in a very different part of the county to me.


The positives
*The weather is not as extreme as in the US

Note: These are my wife's views and I fully concur.[/QUOTE]

Re: An American view.
 

I'm not sure what game the OP is playing but his posts don't add up:

Post 1
I am an American, born and bred in New York, Boston and Washington, DC.
(written by the wife)

Post 81
I met my second wife here in the UK about a year later, she is English
(written by the husband)

Re: An American view.
 

He wrote in the same post that the second wife left him...he now has an American wife.

Re: An American view.
 

Okay, my apologies to OP.

Re: An American view.
 

I know . I did find it confusing at first. I've spent some time reading Mr &Mrs London1947's past posts to get a handle on their whole situation.

I believe the current MrsLondon1947 to be MrLondon1947's third wife.

Also, from what has been posted by MrLondon1947 , they are currently situated in Dawlish. Renting.

MrsLondon1947 (the 3rd) is a born & bred city girl so Dawlish ,as a place to actually live in , may have come as something of a shock.

Re: An American view.
 

This is a bit confusing: "Next chapter will be meeting my now American wife."

Re: An American view.
 

:nod: I'm not getting the relevance of the previous wives to this thread. I understand he's given us background info but surely only the history with the current wife is required (and less confusing).

I think we've all known of expats who, for whatever reason, don't settle, and end up hating every small thing regardless of whether it's real or imaginary. It must be very hard living day to day when you appear that unhappy, especially if you can't do anything about moving for either financial or health reasons. Nine times out of ten they can't offload to family, friends or neighbours in case of upset, that's why BE exists, to offload in an anonymous manner.

Re: An American view.
 

I'm not sure this is the right place, though. The wife isn't British and the husband isn't an expat.

I've lived abroad for more than three years now and have lived in other countries for many more years off and on, and while there is good and bad in every country I would never reel off a long list of complaints to its citizens. It's like being a guest in someone's house and complaining about the food or the entertainment. It's just bad manners.

I don't understand the point of posting. He or she is clearly unwilling to listen to facts or even reason, which is what makes me think he or she is just trolling.

Maybe a US expat website would be more suitable if he or she wants a sympathetic ear? Although some posters can muster more sympathy and understanding than I am capable of, he or she is unlikely to get much joy from posting here.

Re: An American view.
 

The wife is an expat though. When did it become Ok for 'us' to moan about the country we move to but not Ok for the expat wife of a Brit to do the same thing? He's 'Moved Back' with his expat wife. Seems like a good enough place to me.

Re: An American view.
 

[QUOTE=moneypenny20;11407936]This website is called BritishExpats, is my point. And I am being practical. What is the OP trying to achieve? He or she hasn't responded to any facts or reasoning or advice.

I live in Taiwan and I don't moan about Taiwan to the Taiwanese. When I lived in Australia not a word of complaint about Oz to any Australians passed my lips. It's rude and pointless.

Re: An American view.
 

It's fine to offload, however a list like that will provoke factual corrections at least. The person posting should introduce herself and her situation in order to gain the most out of the site.

Re: An American view.
 

I think that is the main issue, the list is almost entirely factually inaccurate or blown out of all proportion. This is why so many are having trouble having any sympathy.

Re: An American view.
 

Is it any better manners or less rude and pointless for you to decide who can and cannot post on an open internet forum?

Re: An American view.
 

Nobody is being told they can or cant post but when you read the OP you do have to question the motives when you look at how outrageous most of the points made are.

Re: An American view.
 

To be fair, he was encouraged to voice his criticisms by a moderator.

He also strikes me as rather depressed and maybe his wife is homesick.

Also, despite being very happy now I'm home, some of his less outrageous points strike a chord with me.

Re: An American view.
 

Where have I said he cannot post? But freedom of speech works both ways. If someone comes to my house they're free to complain and I'm free to say don't let the door hit your backside on the way out.

Re: An American view.
 

Indeed, there are little snippets of truth inbetween all the nonsense but even those little things are rather insignificant in the scheme of things.

Re: An American view.
 

Really? "I'm not sure this is the right place, though. The wife isn't British and the husband isn't an expat". "This website is called BritishExpats, is my point."

Doesn't sound very welcoming to those who may not be British. Or Expats.

I'm not British, however I am an expat. Does that mean it's half ok for me to be here?

Re: An American view.
 

The poster was asking a question, he wasnt telling anyone they could or couldnt post.

Re: An American view.
 

Some of the posters on the US part of the site are on you like a ton of bricks if you criticise the US.

Re: An American view.
 

But as I've said and as we all know, if you're in a country where for what ever reason you haven't settled, even the smallest negative thing becomes a major hurdle to happiness. Everything just builds up and we can all say but x y z is actually incorrect and you're mistaken as much as we like, it sometimes doesn't sink in or help the person struggling. Maybe just offloading that list (that they were asked to detail) and reading the feedback will help, who knows. Ok so it hasn't been put in the best terms and they've obviously offended some but if you're depressed and possibly not thinking rationally, you just let go and vomit it all up so to speak.

Re: An American view.
 

From the OP, to Mrs London1947, the post title appropriate, as is the rant a good one, no different than any immigrant going to new country - they'd always find some fault & a whinge is as good as it gets.

the point in bold red below sums it up, likely at some point in time you may tolerate & adjust to the annoyances?

In a nutshell, I would agree with you, specifically on the following

Of course the good points of living in the UK outweigh the small annoyances that you have listed in the OP Mrs London1947?

It would be interesting to see Mr London1947 list against those in he OP of the annoyed tolerance that persons living in the US should have to put up with.

Re: An American view.
 

Yes I can totally see that. It's a much slower pace of life there too isn't it, and I've been there when it's raining and cold, it isn't much fun. And when you are feeling down that can make things feel much, much worse.

Re: An American view.
 

Hasn't the OP returned from living in the US? Ergo, he is the same as many of the "British expats" on this forum.

Re: An American view.
 

That's what is reads like, but then she puts

Why moan about this when she came for these "unending" freebies? It's not as though the rest of the world doesn't know the US haven't got a national health system and that we don't know she came to the UK to get us to pay for her healthcare in old age because citizens of her own country won't pay for her. Unless she doesn't realise we all know that?

A change of attitude could make all the difference to her/their lives in the UK. Or they can return home to the US and pay their own medical bills if they feel that would make them happier.

Re: An American view.
 

I just don't understand why people who are happy with their lives in the UK have to kick someone who is clearly down. Is it really "correcting factual inaccuracies" or taking offence at someone presenting their reasons for being unhappy in the UK?

Re: An American view.
 

Depends on the responder I guess. In my case I know only too well what its like to be unhappy somewhere, so I merely wanted to correct the factual inaccuracies - as people have done with me thousands of times on here over the years when I have whinged about things I dislike about Aus.

Re: An American view.
 

We all have choices to make our lives happy. If she is still unhappy after these 2 years, then they can move home. Or, if they need to have free healthcare, then they should be pleased that they have arrived in a country who are willing to provide them with that in their old age and then also accept that there will be other things that are not the same as their own country.

Of course, if the US got it's act together and gave free healthcare to their elderly who have paid taxes for years and to those out of work, then that would solve a lot of problems for their citizens. I can't imagine how bad it must be to leave loved ones so that you don't go bankrupt due to medical bills or die from lack of basic medical care.

Re: An American view.
 

agree :goodpost:

Take someone that has lived in one of the great metropolis of the US - Washington, NYC, LA that moves back to the UK with a US born & bred spouse to a small town of 12,000 people. It must be a difficult adjustment.

If folks are happy & have made the decision to move to wherever, for whatever reason - the choice is theirs & no other. Over time Mrs may adapt, or want to move to a bigger city such as Bristol.

I have no issues with Mrs London having a whinge doing a comparison - its human nature. I wonder how Mrs London would have adjusted if Mr L had taken her to live in a place such as the 'Isle of Bute' or the Isle of Barra'?

Either one of those would have be my choice.:amen: