4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
May 18th 2007, 12:02 am
#16
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
It's weird the things you miss isn't it? I was thinking the other day that I really miss seeing cows!! (I told you I was going loopy!) You know, proper picture book black & white fresians?
I really do want to head back for a holiday, though with two mortgages at the moment it won't be just yet. Assuming first house sells soon, I now have to weigh up whether to go back ASAP - hopefully get a glimpse of summer and leave the crappy Melbourne winter for a while - or wait for Xmas - the thought of Xmas here fills me with gloom, especially as I want it to be fabulous for my little pumpkin. It would be fab back in the Uk I am sure but flights cost so much more and it's a long time away...
Either way, a trip home will hopefully clinch it for me. I'm pretty certain we'll be heading back to Blighty, it's now just a question of when.
Ho hum, Wales are playing in Sydney next weekend at least.
I really do want to head back for a holiday, though with two mortgages at the moment it won't be just yet. Assuming first house sells soon, I now have to weigh up whether to go back ASAP - hopefully get a glimpse of summer and leave the crappy Melbourne winter for a while - or wait for Xmas - the thought of Xmas here fills me with gloom, especially as I want it to be fabulous for my little pumpkin. It would be fab back in the Uk I am sure but flights cost so much more and it's a long time away...
Either way, a trip home will hopefully clinch it for me. I'm pretty certain we'll be heading back to Blighty, it's now just a question of when.
Ho hum, Wales are playing in Sydney next weekend at least.
Hi Emma
I think thats very sensible heading back for a holiday first.
Best of luck with it. I' m doing the same.
Wish I really didint like here as it would make the decision easier.
I've kind of decided that I am going back (well today I have) becasue I think I'll be happier and more satisified in the UK in the long term even though I am very scared about movin back.
Xmas in blighty would be nice for you or summer or probably whenever you go, enjoy it
Bye
T
May 18th 2007, 9:57 am
#17
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Ditto to those feelings. Everyday I look at my kids and see them so happy and settled and I wonder what the hell we're going to do. If we go back and for whatever reason they (or hubby) are unhappy, it will all be my fault. I've never been so scared of the future before.
May 18th 2007, 10:33 am
#18
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Ditto to those feelings. Everyday I look at my kids and see them so happy and settled and I wonder what the hell we're going to do. If we go back and for whatever reason they (or hubby) are unhappy, it will all be my fault. I've never been so scared of the future before.
Then, what evidence do you have to suggest they wont be happy again?
I think its a bad trait that a lot of us (me included!) have - imagining a "worst case" scenario that actually doesnt exist to the point it becomes "real". Thats really disabling - it is something that isnt even tangable thats putting you off doing what you believe is the right thing to do.
Sure they WILL be unhappy when you return. (i had 6mnths of absolute hell) BUT it wont last. If you are really convinced as a family you will be better off in the UK, you have to see the bad, unhappy times as a process.
As my OH says,
"Sometimes you just have to get uncomfortable in order to get comfortable"
Im trying to make this my mantra!
May 21st 2007, 7:12 am
#19
Homeward Bound
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Hooray for understanding husbands!
Mine is fabulous and while he absolutely doesn't want to go back, he's adamant he'll go wherever I'll be happy. The trouble is knowing that only one of you really wants to give this up though. I know that if we do end up in the UK and it's not as great as we imagined, I will feel so guilty as it's only me that's pushing to go back!
Tracey, I know exactly what you mean. My son has so much here and everytime I look at him running in some beautiful park or bombing about our lovely big house I wonder anew if I can do this to him
Mine is fabulous and while he absolutely doesn't want to go back, he's adamant he'll go wherever I'll be happy. The trouble is knowing that only one of you really wants to give this up though. I know that if we do end up in the UK and it's not as great as we imagined, I will feel so guilty as it's only me that's pushing to go back!
Tracey, I know exactly what you mean. My son has so much here and everytime I look at him running in some beautiful park or bombing about our lovely big house I wonder anew if I can do this to him
Last edited by spuds; May 21st 2007 at 7:12 am. Reason: typo!
May 21st 2007, 7:38 am
#20
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Hooray for understanding husbands!
Mine is fabulous and while he absolutely doesn't want to go back, he's adamant he'll go wherever I'll be happy. The trouble is knowing that only one of you really wants to give this up though. I know that if we do end up in the UK and it's not as great as we imagined, I will feel so guilty as it's only me that's pushing to go back!
Tracey, I know exactly what you mean. My son has so much here and everytime I look at him running in some beautiful park or bombing about our lovely big house I wonder anew if I can do this to him
Mine is fabulous and while he absolutely doesn't want to go back, he's adamant he'll go wherever I'll be happy. The trouble is knowing that only one of you really wants to give this up though. I know that if we do end up in the UK and it's not as great as we imagined, I will feel so guilty as it's only me that's pushing to go back!
Tracey, I know exactly what you mean. My son has so much here and everytime I look at him running in some beautiful park or bombing about our lovely big house I wonder anew if I can do this to him
Ditto to all of this. I am so scared about what's going to happen.
May 21st 2007, 8:53 am
#21
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Me too
I'm single and still really scared and hoping going back is the right move.
Funny, we all had the oomph to move to the other side of the world, we did it. Yet, moving back home scares us. Quite bizarre. We know what the UK entails. Surely all your families/kids will be fine and dandy - kids are so adaptable. even if you may not have te big house etc back in UK, I think the UK is a brilliant place to grow up.
I always thought here was a preferable place to bring up children but have changed my mind now. I know where I'd rather be bought up.
And...when I was young, I spent time in Jamaica, Middle East, UK.
It was great as it made me see other places/ cultures but also made me really appreciate the UK and I am ever thankful that I grew up there. Warts and all its a great place full of great people and following your heart is surely the best example you can set for your children
xxx
I'm single and still really scared and hoping going back is the right move.
Funny, we all had the oomph to move to the other side of the world, we did it. Yet, moving back home scares us. Quite bizarre. We know what the UK entails. Surely all your families/kids will be fine and dandy - kids are so adaptable. even if you may not have te big house etc back in UK, I think the UK is a brilliant place to grow up.
I always thought here was a preferable place to bring up children but have changed my mind now. I know where I'd rather be bought up.
And...when I was young, I spent time in Jamaica, Middle East, UK.
It was great as it made me see other places/ cultures but also made me really appreciate the UK and I am ever thankful that I grew up there. Warts and all its a great place full of great people and following your heart is surely the best example you can set for your children
xxx
May 21st 2007, 8:59 am
#22
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
We sold our beautiful big house after six months and moved into a rundown old 3x1 (I have three kids). They love it because we have flowers in the garden.
My girls surprised me the other day as they said they don't want to be Aussies (I try very hard not to influence them, but they do pick up on it). My middle one (six) wants to go back to Japan as she likes the food. The oldest one (eight) wants to go to the UK so she can see Granny and Grandad and maybe get into Hogwarts! I asked them if they'd miss the sunshine and blue skies of Perth. The oldest one is into books more than anything, and she said no. The middle one said a little bit.
What I'm trying to say is that we project our own fears onto our kids, but more often than not they ain't that worried where they are as long as the family is happy and they're surrounded by people who love them. And remember, it's not as if we're taking them to Baghdad.
Kids expect you to make yourself happy. They wont thank you later for what you may see as sacrifices.
May 21st 2007, 9:18 am
#23
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
I know what you're both saying, but there are beautiful parks in the UK too!
We sold our beautiful big house after six months and moved into a rundown old 3x1 (I have three kids). They love it because we have flowers in the garden.
My girls surprised me the other day as they said they don't want to be Aussies (I try very hard not to influence them, but they do pick up on it). My middle one (six) wants to go back to Japan as she likes the food. The oldest one (eight) wants to go to the UK so she can see Granny and Grandad and maybe get into Hogwarts! I asked them if they'd miss the sunshine and blue skies of Perth. The oldest one is into books more than anything, and she said no. The middle one said a little bit.
What I'm trying to say is that we project our own fears onto our kids, but more often than not they ain't that worried where they are as long as the family is happy and they're surrounded by people who love them. And remember, it's not as if we're taking them to Baghdad.
Kids expect you to make yourself happy. They wont thank you later for what you may see as sacrifices.
We sold our beautiful big house after six months and moved into a rundown old 3x1 (I have three kids). They love it because we have flowers in the garden.
My girls surprised me the other day as they said they don't want to be Aussies (I try very hard not to influence them, but they do pick up on it). My middle one (six) wants to go back to Japan as she likes the food. The oldest one (eight) wants to go to the UK so she can see Granny and Grandad and maybe get into Hogwarts! I asked them if they'd miss the sunshine and blue skies of Perth. The oldest one is into books more than anything, and she said no. The middle one said a little bit.
What I'm trying to say is that we project our own fears onto our kids, but more often than not they ain't that worried where they are as long as the family is happy and they're surrounded by people who love them. And remember, it's not as if we're taking them to Baghdad.
Kids expect you to make yourself happy. They wont thank you later for what you may see as sacrifices.
nice post
May 21st 2007, 9:36 am
#24
Jedi Princess
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Melbourne,Australia
Posts: 2,089
Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
What I'm trying to say is that we project our own fears onto our kids, but more often than not they ain't that worried where they are as long as the family is happy and they're surrounded by people who love them. And remember, it's not as if we're taking them to Baghdad.
Kids expect you to make yourself happy. They wont thank you later for what you may see as sacrifices.
Kids expect you to make yourself happy. They wont thank you later for what you may see as sacrifices.
May 21st 2007, 12:02 pm
#25
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Its ok when you got little ones but try telling a 17 1/2 year old your trying to do the best for the moment
I try to be positive about going back now, but reality is i think im more worried about going back there than was coming here!!! and its not about housing its about jobs etc, even though i know you can get more out of Europe etc from being based in UK...
I try to be positive about going back now, but reality is i think im more worried about going back there than was coming here!!! and its not about housing its about jobs etc, even though i know you can get more out of Europe etc from being based in UK...
May 21st 2007, 12:22 pm
#27
Never been to Australia
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Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Tracey,
I don't know your husband and I can only comment on how I saw things.
For a bloke it is alright here, I get to drive a company V8 4wd ute and I have made some good friends who have boats and we can go fishing etc. It is superficially great, the company I worked for bent over backwards to accommodate me and the money was starting to come good.
But we had a bloody good life in the UK and my wife was happy. There is nothing here that we could not have/do back in the Uk and we would have our full support system around us. We will back in a family group and that means more then any of the life we have here.
I know I have put a lot of this before and probably more eloquently because I was less pissed but stop beating yourself up.
You will all be fine back home, its a bloody good place, Europe has so much to offer and so much opportunity you will be deniaing your kids so much if you don't.
Kevin
I don't know your husband and I can only comment on how I saw things.
For a bloke it is alright here, I get to drive a company V8 4wd ute and I have made some good friends who have boats and we can go fishing etc. It is superficially great, the company I worked for bent over backwards to accommodate me and the money was starting to come good.
But we had a bloody good life in the UK and my wife was happy. There is nothing here that we could not have/do back in the Uk and we would have our full support system around us. We will back in a family group and that means more then any of the life we have here.
I know I have put a lot of this before and probably more eloquently because I was less pissed but stop beating yourself up.
You will all be fine back home, its a bloody good place, Europe has so much to offer and so much opportunity you will be deniaing your kids so much if you don't.
Kevin
May 21st 2007, 12:26 pm
#28
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Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Back home :)
Posts: 1,706
Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Tracey,
I don't know your husband and I can only comment on how I saw things.
For a bloke it is alright here, I get to drive a company V8 4wd ute and I have made some good friends who have boats and we can go fishing etc. It is superficially great, the company I worked for bent over backwards to accommodate me and the money was starting to come good.
But we had a bloody good life in the UK and my wife was happy. There is nothing here that we could not have/do back in the Uk and we would have our full support system around us. We will back in a family group and that means more then any of the life we have here.
I know I have put a lot of this before and probably more eloquently because I was less pissed but stop beating yourself up.
You will all be fine back home, its a bloody good place, Europe has so much to offer and so much opportunity you will be deniaing your kids so much if you don't.
Kevin
I don't know your husband and I can only comment on how I saw things.
For a bloke it is alright here, I get to drive a company V8 4wd ute and I have made some good friends who have boats and we can go fishing etc. It is superficially great, the company I worked for bent over backwards to accommodate me and the money was starting to come good.
But we had a bloody good life in the UK and my wife was happy. There is nothing here that we could not have/do back in the Uk and we would have our full support system around us. We will back in a family group and that means more then any of the life we have here.
I know I have put a lot of this before and probably more eloquently because I was less pissed but stop beating yourself up.
You will all be fine back home, its a bloody good place, Europe has so much to offer and so much opportunity you will be deniaing your kids so much if you don't.
Kevin
May 21st 2007, 4:11 pm
#29
Re vera, potas bene.
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Cape Cod MA..Davenport FL
Posts: 2,405
Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
As someone who has never been homesick...I can't Begin to think what that must be like...I love the UK warts ands all...and I don't count out the possibility that we may move back in 10 or so years...but I have the feeling that I will miss the USA way to much ...and that it would be harder to leave here than it was to leave the UK...
I read the stories here everyday...and it makes me thankful that my problems are mostly small and easy to overcome...I was depressed in the USA for a short time...and if any of you feel like I did back then.... then my good wishes and thoughts are with you..and I hope you overcome them like I did....
I read the stories here everyday...and it makes me thankful that my problems are mostly small and easy to overcome...I was depressed in the USA for a short time...and if any of you feel like I did back then.... then my good wishes and thoughts are with you..and I hope you overcome them like I did....
May 22nd 2007, 12:32 am
#30
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Posts: 3,533
Re: 4 Years & I Still Don't Belong!
Tracey,
I don't know your husband and I can only comment on how I saw things.
For a bloke it is alright here, I get to drive a company V8 4wd ute and I have made some good friends who have boats and we can go fishing etc. It is superficially great, the company I worked for bent over backwards to accommodate me and the money was starting to come good.
But we had a bloody good life in the UK and my wife was happy. There is nothing here that we could not have/do back in the Uk and we would have our full support system around us. We will back in a family group and that means more then any of the life we have here.
I know I have put a lot of this before and probably more eloquently because I was less pissed but stop beating yourself up.
You will all be fine back home, its a bloody good place, Europe has so much to offer and so much opportunity you will be deniaing your kids so much if you don't.
Kevin
I don't know your husband and I can only comment on how I saw things.
For a bloke it is alright here, I get to drive a company V8 4wd ute and I have made some good friends who have boats and we can go fishing etc. It is superficially great, the company I worked for bent over backwards to accommodate me and the money was starting to come good.
But we had a bloody good life in the UK and my wife was happy. There is nothing here that we could not have/do back in the Uk and we would have our full support system around us. We will back in a family group and that means more then any of the life we have here.
I know I have put a lot of this before and probably more eloquently because I was less pissed but stop beating yourself up.
You will all be fine back home, its a bloody good place, Europe has so much to offer and so much opportunity you will be deniaing your kids so much if you don't.
Kevin
Cheers mate
